Happy Halloween!

"Tonight is the night that goblins howl..." this is a line from some poem we read in primo years ago. Well, I'm obviously not out partying tonight, didn't even get a costume. It's fun seeing all the costumes, especially the kids who really seem to enjoy it. And all the free candy, wow. When I was a kid, sweets and chocolates were the center of the world. Usually we'd buy cheap sweets when we got some money (patco, co's) moving up to klm, eclairs, then mintchoc, fudge, and dairy milk. We'd even stick a spoon in the sugar bowl and eat it when parents were away from home. When some kid stole money, you could always tell. They went to the local shop and bought lots of chocolates and brought them to school. Then everyone wanted to be their friend. These days, I'm seriously cutting back my sugar intake although I indulge in quality chocolate every now and then. I did go to a Halloween bash over the weekend. House parties are one of my favorite places to be. The people who hosted it did a great job decorating their spacious house. Most people wore costumes (I guess the rest of us didn't get the memo). They had a keg and a local rock band performed. They reminded me of Green Day. Totally cool!

Elsewhere in the country, looks like people were inspired by the hood. A frat party at Johns Hopkins is under fire for their themed party. Kwani these guys didn't read the news when UT Austin students had their party? Of course, the customary apologies will be made as PR pros scramble behind the scenes to assemble some politically correct releases to appease the civil rights organizations and their African American students. While these 'hood parties are insulting, I think we need to step back and see them in their true light: the party is merely the symptom for the greater issues that pervade society concerning race and social class. When people apologize, what are they sorry for? Are they sorry for insulting people? Do they even understand why people are pissed off? Are they sorry they got caught and exposed to the world? Will this change their way of thinking or behavior? It's kind of like whenArnold Schwarzenegger apologized for was making a comment about a Latina colleague saying she's hot-tempered because of her 'black blood' and 'latino blood.' Was he embarrassed for making the comment or that the recording was made public?
Just caught a glimpse of Dr. Phil on tv featuring unfaithful couples, and I'll quote a question he asked. "Are you sorry that you did it or sorry that you got caught?"

Visionaries

I attended a great lecture this evening on leadership and visionaries that was very inspiring. It was given by the CEO of a consulting company (our teacher's buddy) and when she described what they do I was thinking "I'd love to work for you!" Well, still have a ways to go before I get there.

One of the more immediate tasks is rewriting a paper on policy. It's a group thing: one dude had written it previously but refused to listen to our feedback and didn't incorporate the research I'd worked on. We were running out of time, so we decided to just hand it in. Big mistake, 'cause now we have to redo it. This dude just doesn't understand why the paper was a disaster and furthermore wants to rewrite it. I handed him the old paper with the teacher's comments so he could see it for himself, and then the new outline I've worked on. There's no way I'm getting a bad grade because somebody with poor writing skills and grammar refuses to listen. The rest of us group members have split up the tasks but he's the only one who's out of line. What bothers me more isn't just the skills (or lack thereof) but the attitude. I will respect people for their work skills and life experience (you've gone through a lot by the time you're twice my age) but when we get to class, we're all students trying to learn.

I've been reading about a visionary: Ella Baker, a cofounder of the Young Negroes' Cooperative League in New York which believed that youth were essential to social change so the members were 35yrs old and younger. If someone older wanted to join, they had to get a majority vote from the current members. I like this idea! In fact, if I were to found a party or organization, I'd adopt the same rule: 35 and younger only. Of course, if you're older than that, but have similar values and goals and the members approve, you can join and be consulted for your expertise. Wouldn't this be brilliant?

(a few minutes later...)

Well, looks like somebody else beat me to it: the Madaraka Party of Kenya just got registered this month. I just found out about them a few minutes ago. Let me read up on them.

Same Old Story

Had a fun weekend. Ate great food in my new 'hood. I'm one of those people who rarely tries something new unless it's recommended by a friend. If I eat out, I'd rather go somewhere familiar where I know exactly what to expect. Call me boring if you like but I prefer predictability and stability. Hmm, why do I sound like one of the Controllers in Brave New World? Anyway, if someone else comes up with a new idea, I'll try it.

I ran into a Kenyan buddy on campus and we chatted over coffee. I like the feeling of knowing somebody when I go somewhere so I don't feel so lost. I even met a Kenyan lady over there on Friday. I spotted her wearing a beautiful kitenge and complimented her on it then introduced myself. Funny how you can usually identify your own people. There are times when people fail to identify where I'm from and I get somewhat offended.

My history/ethnic studies class had a very heated debate today on hate crimes and racism. It's great to discuss these sensitive issues that are often brushed aside in day-to-day interaction although they affect our world. Knowing that other people are dealing with similar challenges validates my feelings and I've realized how some well-meaning white people are ignorant about the issues the rest of us face. Hell, ignorance also exists among the non-white/'minority' group. Let me just say for the record that I strongly dislike the term 'minority' for its minimizing, demeaning connotations. Anyway, there are times people see or hear something happening and think "it has nothing to do with me" but wasn't it MLK Jr. who said "An injustice anywhere is an injustice everywhere"? Although we should not delude ourselves with a Messiah complex of saving the world, we do need to be aware of what goes on and to speak up whenever we can. If you hear somebody say something mean or ignorant, call them out on it. There are times I just ask "What do you have against that group of people?" Some people are in positions to exert a lot of influence, others are just in 'survival' mode trying to hold their own shit together. I think that sometimes the most we can do is to challenge our own beliefs and biases and be aware of how that affects our interaction with others so we aren't guilty of the same crimes as the oppressors. This applies to racism, tribalism, gender-based stereotypes, ethnocentrism, and just about any of those -isms.

On the political front, Obama is the golden child of U.S. politics. With good reasons too. The Kenyan leaders who had the balls to criticize his University of Nairobi speech risked alienating a powerful ally who articulated what the Kenyan people have been saying for years. He refused to smear his dignity from the low blows thrown his way by our disgruntled leadership. Isn't it funny how we are so quick to claim him as one of our own when his star is rising, yet neglect the important facts that are right in front of our eyes? He is an American citizen, lawyer, and politician fathered by a Kenyan man. He speaks the truth in stating we should stop waiting to be rescued by the West because they're only watching out for their own interests. A brief look at history should teach us that lesson. Oh well, new day, same old story.

Mini Mid-week Meltdown

Last week, I was overwhelmed with school/ work commitments. I was thinking about dropping my speech forensics class to I can have more time to devote to my major classes which aren't going as well as they should. It's that feeling you get when you're 1 or 2 steps behind and struggling to catch up. I hate it! Thing is, I had to make the decision fast because I had to take part in an intercollegiate speech tournament over the weekend. At first, I thought the class would be simple (no papers, no tests) but then I freaked out about having to be in a tournament. It is no easy task and involves research and preparation, memorizing, and learning how to give the speech. I can deal with people one-on-one but I hate being the center of attention on stage. I took a basic speech comm. class over 2 years ago so I was out of practice. I don't like to do things unless I know I can do them well and excel. Did I mention that my school's team always wins awards at these events? After a lot of encouragement, I decided to go for it. All the travel arrangements had been made so we set out on Friday. It was fun travelling with the Speech & Debate team in the school van with our teacher driving. It reminded me of field trips in high school.

Fast-forward to the actual event. It's a parallel universe that I never knew about till recently. You know how people who are into beauty pageants, horse racing, or chess are really into it? They devote years of their lives to being good and attend all these events that mean little to the rest of us. There's something similar with the Speech tournament. Some people have been doing it since primo, or high school. The dramatic verses remind me of Kenya Music Festival. If you're in debate, you can wear jeans but we had to dress up for the speeches. (Rant: For chics, it's a pain finding dressy shoes that are comfortable and look good. I went shopping for shoes and you wouldn't believe how hard it is to find a pair of flat, black, dressy, closed-toe & heel shoes. I swear, they make shoes for people who's objective is just to have pretty looking feet. How about the rest of us who walk and need shoes to fit into our active lives?) The unofficial uniform is a black pin-striped suit. Well the good news is I survived it. I was very surprised to get an award in the novice category especially because I didn't even make it to the final rounds. Anyhow, I talked to my advisor today and she's great. I've decided to just hang in there with the classes.

Elephants

I just read this article: An Elephant Crackup? in the NY Times and I'm amazed at the similarities humans and elephants share.

Wretched

2 nights ago, I had a hard time going to sleep. I was physically exhausted but my mind just wouldn't take a break. And of course, I had to be up very early the next day for work. I made it there and got through a hectic day fueled by large amounts of caffeine, sugar, adrenalin, and youthful energy. It was a long, long day....Fast forward to the end, was supposed to meet up with someone to go to a live music show, but they 'forgot' to tell me that they weren't going to make it till an hour and a half before the show. I was too tired to be pissed at that moment, and was actually relieved that I could spend my evening at home. But also irritated with the last minute message. It's slightly better than being stood up at when you've dressed up and left the house, but come on, if you are in city A that's a day's drive from city B (the venue), of course you're not going to make it to the damn show! I want people to value and respect my time.

I am currently reading "The Wretched Of The Earth" by Frantz Fanon (recommended by who else but my history teacher:). I'm still in the first Chapter 'On Violence' and I'm so excited by the reading. Sartre has penned a powerful preface. It is such an exhilarating feeling to see these thoughts, observations, and experiences put into powerful words. I'm wondering why I never read this book before. I strongly recommend it to everybody out there.

To be or Not to be Greek

Yes, it is possible to be surrounded by a crowd yet feel utterly alone. It is also possible to look like you fit in, yet feel completely out of place. What the hell am I talking about? Attending an event last week hosted by the Black Sororities and Fraternities at my school.

It all began one afternoon when someone handed me a flyer that stated there was an event scheduled in a couple of days to inform us about Black Greek life at the university. I absently shoved the flyer into my backpack noting the time 6pm and place. When the day came, I was at the library finishing up a paper. I glanced at my watch and thought why not? I decided to make a conscious effort to step out of my comfort zone. Well, I realized that there's a lot I don't know or understand in African American history and culture so I've decided to learn more and get exposed to it. So, this is how the evening went.

5:45pm--I leave the library and stroll to the student center where the event will take place.
5:50pm--I'm sitting outside the meeting hall, there are a few people standing outside.
6:00pm--More people arrive. It's fun to see the clothes, and hairdos. Like a mini-fashion show with some really hot men and fine chics of course.
6:10pm--It's obviously not starting on time, so I decide to check phone messages.
6:20pm--I call a buddy to chat.
6:30pm--The door to the hall is opened and people start to enter. There's a sign that says the event was scheduled for 6:30.
6:35pm--I enter the hall, most of the people are inside. There's a dj spinning music near the stage.
6:37pm--I sit down at the end of a row, so I can make a quick exit. I observe the crowd: young, vibrant intelligent black college students, cracking jokes with friends and dressed to the nines. I must have missed the memo that said to dress up and carry a cute handbag,
6:40pm--There's a tall girl up front who reminds me of a friend. I'm looking around at the different groups and think "This would be so much fun if my old buddies were here." I'm getting that 'new kid at school' feeling 'cause I am. The last 2 schools I attended (1 in Kenya and 1 here) I already knew a bunch of people and had buddies I'd grown up with and a sibling.
6:50pm--A girl with a strong, voice steps up to the podium and directs us to stand up for the Black National Anthem. Her voice blows me away--powerful. I've never heard the song before.
6:55pm--A line-up of the Greeks are on stage and they give us quick blurbs about their group founders, history, and mottos. Everytime a name is mentioned, the members in the crowd give a special yell or cheer. Some people are dressed up in their official colors. The best outfits are red and black. I could see myself in that...
7:10pm--Question and answer session on how to join (there's a 'process', no hazing), what community activities they're involved in, and parties they host,...etc
7:25pm--I leave the building and the event is going strong. Got to be up early the next day.
8:30pm--Home. Hot meal. Comfort.

Brains

My brain was fried today.
It started out with an exam with 138 questions. All multiple choice. I'm one of those students that dives into the exam and leaves the class as soon as possible. I've learned that my first instinct is usually the right one, and if I don't know the answers, sitting around agonizing over them won't help. Next was history class, which is the most enjoyable (usually). Today, I left class with a headache. You know how there's always 1 or 2 people who always have something to say in class? Well, there's one girl who was dominating the discussion. Irritating voice, repeats the same thing over and over again. Well, what's the point in complaining? I guess the rest of us can speak up if we want to. I'm not a big talker in big classes, but if it's a small group I'm more comfortable sharing my views. The bright spot in the day was seeing the teacher (my crush on him is wearing off...). As soon as class was over I headed home for a good meal, Tylenol, and much needed rest (avg. sleeping time over the weekend was maybe 8-10 hrs? I get very grouchy without quality sleep.)

Tomorrow, there's a paper due in my policy class. It's supposed to focus on policies and advocate a position but all it does is focus on general background information with only one paragraph devoted to policy. First of all, it's a group paper but one dude wrote the bulk of it. The rest of us did some editing and additions but the dude doesn't listen to most of the suggestions. I got tired of people talking about what should be done, so last week I did some research and typed in a lot of good information. But my info is missing from the final paper. This idea of writing group papers was a bad idea. We'd better not get a bad grade. Anyway, we're going to meet early afternoon for a final edit of the paper. I have worked in many groups and teams and realized that every person is just watching out for themselves. You have to deal with egos and most people feel like they're the most brainy. In the next phase of my life, I'm thinking about getting into something where I can do my work solo 'cause it's tiring dealing with people and their idiosyncrancies.

A Girl Like Me

Color is more than skin deep for young African-American women struggling to define themselves.

A Doggie's Life

Sometimes, I feel like I'm twice my age--today is one of those days. My joints are aching and every step I take makes me feel old. A warm shower and lots of rest will probably make me feel much better.

I don't know if this is another sign of getting older, but all of a sudden I notice kids who are out late, or just hanging out and think "Shouldn't they be home sleeping? Where are their parents?"

Being a dog is usually a negative thing, but what if you were a real one? As in, you were somebody's pet and experienced a life of luxury? Check out this article on A Dog's Life.

I swear, there are animals in this world that live better than humans (esp. in this country). I didn't understand this concept till I saw it with my own eyes. There's one lady I used to work for in my former school and her family owned 2 cats. Those things were humongous! Don't know if they feed them some kind of genetically modified food or something. Anyhow, those pets were pampered like babies. There was a pet shop nearby that sold those cute little doggie clothes and a variety of pet supplies. There was even a book about how to interpret a cat's 'meows.' It was one of those stores where if you have to ask the prices, then you probably can't afford much. I'm all for animal rights, but I don't think they should be treated like little humans. But then again, who am I to judge owners who indulge themselves through their pets? After all, who else will give you their entire heart so willingly, and spend their entire life with you, offering protection, love, and sincere devotion if not Fido, Simba, or Rafiki?

Packing... and Private Lives

The past weekend has been filled with the hassle of moving. You don't realize how much stuff you have until you try to pack it all up. My books were the heaviest things and took up the most space. We threw out a lot of things and gave away others. Also took stuff to Goodwill. If only there was an affordable way to send things to Kenya....I used to be amazed at how people in the States would throw away everything (including working electronics) but now I understand. Most times, moving or storing stuff costs more than the value of the items. When it comes to electronics, there's always something new so if you hang onto things, they become obsolete. The main thing I want is a house of my own where I can keep my crap in forever and ever. I'm going to make it happen. Meanwhile, just dealing with daily challenges.

Funny how when you need help, the people you least expect come through for you. I'd rather have 1 or 2 friends I trust completely rather than a crowd that only hangs around during good times. One of my close friends lives in my new 'hood so we'll be hanging out more often.

Overheard today on campus (one guy to his friend):"I don't find her repulsive, I'm just not attracted to her." How would you tell someone that you're not into them? Is there a polite way to do it or do you just ignore them and hope they figure it out? I recently bumped into a guy I had a huge crush on 2 years ago. Whatever I used to see in him isn't there anymore. He used to be much cuter.

And why exactly is the public concerned about Condoleeza Rice's love life? I've heard some jokes on tv about her. Women (esp. unmarried ones) are always subject to scrutiny of their love lives. Kwa nini? Take another public figure, e.g. Dick Cheney. His hunting escapades have been a source of entertainment for everyone. Yet, you never hear anything about his wife. (Does he have one? I don't know) The only woman connected to him that we hear about is his lesbian daughter. Society should let women keep their private lives away from the public.

Looking Back

Thursday night was a blast! Made it to all 3 events, and even stopped for a drink at a favorite spot. They served some really good white wine at the gallery (I'm a fan of red) and the exhibit was great. The artist's strength was his charcoal drawings of humans--they were so detailed and life-like. Artists must study human anatomy to be able to capture the human form so well. Didn't Leornado da Vinci himself study cadavers? Well, I got to meet the artist and ask about his inspiration, which is spirituality. The crowd was a mix of business-types getting off work, artists, a backpacker who wandered by, and one punk-rock type chic who stood out from the crowd. It's fun to observe the people. You can usually tell the serious buyers: this time it was an old jungu man pointing at a piece on the wall and asking for a closer look. Afterwards, passed by the fundraiser to see the buddy who invited me. Then proceeded for a drink before hitting the club. It was a memorable night. By the way, why is it that if a chic goes somewhere with a guy, some people just assume you're together?

The weekend was also eventful: it included going clubbing with some workmates (the dj sucked, played music bila formula), a delicious dinner at a popular restaurant, a midnight birthday celebration with champagne and cake (yum), phone call from Dad, working for 12 hrs straight after 2 hours of sleep, and scrambling to type a paper due Monday morning.

There's so much reading to do for classes so I need to work on time management. Will be changing the work schedule. It's hard to readjust to school after being away for a while but I keep reminding myself that I used to be good at it. It seems like the teachers are really into assigning group projects. I have mixed feelings about this. The ethnic studies class has the most interesting material. I'm glad I got in and I look forward to class. The teacher is great (and did I mention good-looking?). He is so passionate and engaging that time flies by.

On the down side, I'm anxiously waiting for a decision from somebody. I'll find out in about 12 hrs. And my piano will be going to a new home. Can't take it when I move, plus I've come to the cruel realization that since I haven't become a concert pianist already, it will never happen. So, a real musician deserves to have it. Funny how you get attached to things. I can't handle a pet 'cause I'd fall apart if he/she died like Acolyte's roommate's dog did last week (See Roadkill...).

Currently listening to: "Sexy Love" by Ne-yo and "Los Angeles" by Sugarcult (free on iTunes) and watching: Korean soaps.

Going Out

I've got 3 invitations for events happening tonight and I've been deciding which ones I'll attend. Wish they were spread out so I could do them all. There are days when I'm sitting at home searching for something fun to do, and nobody feels like going out. Granted I have an odd schedule. I work weekends these days so I don't go out when most people do.

First there's an art gallery opening. I appreciate all kinds of art although I don't understand them all. I have deep admiration for artists and their talents. I won't miss this one. Entrance is free, and throw in some wine and cheese making it a great evening. Then, there's a fundraiser. There'll be live music and dancing. It costs more than I usually pay for an evening of entertainment so I assume there's dinner and drinks included. And it is for a good cause. Don't think I'll make it though 'cause a buddy invited me to go to a club I've wanted to check out for a while. There are different theme nights and ladies get in for free, so why not? Well, I'm gonna have fun so I'd better get ready!

American Dream or Nightmare?

I'm so pissed off! I just lost a huge part of the post I wrote, and I can never recreate all those beautifully written words so first, here's something I wrote last year.

❝If there's really an "American Dream" then there must be an "American Nightmare." And today I've seen it in the form of a rude Mexican woman working the slot machines at the Las Vegas McCurran Airport. Her heavily made-up face has an impatient look, and the kohl-lined eyes stare back with contempt. Her uniform is a black shirt with "CHANGE" printed clearly on it paired with black jeans. She lugs around a fanny pack full of coins. She's the kind of person you meet and instantly forget. She, like millions around the world, left their home country in search of a better life in this wealthy country--the U.S. of A. In many ways, a person like this is considered a success: has a job, apartment, drives a car, gets an income in dollars ...is independently living in another country ...and yet we must question, is this it?

Is it worth it leaving our homes, our families, our ancestors' birthplace, a place where we can freely practice our culture and blend in with our fellow countrymen; a place where you hear the sweet sounds of your mothertongue, where you feel part of a community and where you are seen as a full fledged member of society instead of being abruptly dismissed as another "minority" statistic?❞


Recently, I met a gentleman whose success in life has been proof of "The American Dream." He started out as a clerk in the company, worked his way up, and years later became the owner. I was impressed to hear about this first-hand experience and I told him that. Then he proceeded to tell me about his son who was even more successful. The son ran his own business, built it from the ground up until it was thriving. Then a man approached this son and offered to buy the business. The answer was, "It's not for sale." The man persisted saying, "Anything is for sale at the right price," and quoted a price the son couldn't refuse.
So, the son took the cash, bought a vineyard, built a beautiful home, and enjoyed the fruits of his labor. End of story, right? Wrong! The business went downhill within a year and lost a lot of money, so there was a knock on the son's door, begging him to go back. After considering the incentives, he took on the challenge and proceeded to rebuild the business back to its former glory. Then he sold the business a second time, banked a fortune and retired at the ripe age of....38.

The moral of the story? There are several, but the one that stuck in my mind is that you don't become outrageously wealthy by working for somebody else and waiting for a paycheck (there are a few exceptions). Those who have an idea or product that they build up, invest in, and take risks with stand to reap all the profits. I've heard the idea before, but now I've seen the evidence. So, I just added "start and run a business" to my list of ambitions.

Hair Politics

I am seriously thinking about shaving my head and keeping my hair really short. By the way it's natural. It takes so much energy and time to style it that I'm wondering why I bother. I don't want to relax it (been there) or loc it (not ready for the commitment) at this time.

Pros:
1. Less time getting ready in the morning and more sleep.
2. No dealing with the pain of a freshly braided scalp with tight braids, or the extreme heat when getting it straightened.
3. More money to spend on other things. Getting hair done in the States involves a lot of cash.
4. Being mistaken for a lesbian.
5. Proving to myself I can do things my way, regardless of what everyone else does.


Cons:
1. Showing my not-so-smooth head, not a flattering look.
2. Exposing my scalp to the elements, esp. when it gets cold.
3. Getting asked questions about why I cut it.
4. Being mistaken for a lesbian.
5. Not being able to get that sleek, corporate look. ( Why do I even care? I don't work in the corporate world.)

India.Arie's song featuring Akon, "I am not my hair" has a powerful message that many of us identify with. Our natural attributes just aren't good enough for the mainstream because caucasian features are the standard of attractiveness. Images in the media and pop culture prey on our insecurities, or even create doubt where there's none. There's always something we can do to our skin, bodies, and hair.
Disclaimer: I am not one of those individuals that subscribe to the idea that everything should be natural--you know those that don't believe in waxing, tweezing, or shaving the appropriate body areas. On the contrary, I encourage and take part in those services.

When I go to work, depending on what my current hairstyle is, I get a lot of comments and questions about it. (Compliments too!) I guess some of the people haven't seen Afro hair up close and personal. They don't understand the different things we do to it. Some are fascinated--they don't realize maintenance is so much work. I don't mind answering those who are genuinely curious but I get tired of it too. Anyway, I just have to air my frustration with dealing with my hair. I have an appointment with the hairdresser tomorrow so I'll do something. Let's see what happens.

Blog Day 2006

I have to confess that I usually focus on reading blogs in KBW (which inspired me to start my own). But, I've realized that it's a huge world and we learn more about each other by interaction. A blog is a very personal view of people's lives and experiences. I'd like to share a few I discovered.

1. Sayesha's world
This blog is written by an Indian girl living in Singapore. Not only is she an excellent writer, but also entertaining and witty. Topics range from work and friends, to travel and cultural views. I like the personal insight offered. Despite being in a different part of the world, I identify with a lot of the issues discussed.

2. Margaret Cho
This blog is funny. After all, it belongs to a comedian. Margaret Cho is of Korean ancestry, born and raised in the U.S. Many of her posts are enlightening and address political issues directly.

3. A Family in Baghdad
This is an invaluable look at the reality of living in war-torn Iraq as experienced by a family in Baghdad. It's portrays what we may never see or hear on the news.

Moving

Moving is a bitch.
We've all been through it. First, you start out with a long list of requirements. Then go out on the exciting search for apartments. Depending on the budget, area, and rental market, you may have to adjust some requirements. It's really stressful! Do you pay more for convenience and a quicker commute? Or opt for affordability further out? The nice neighborhoods will always cost more. Is it worth it saving $$ to live in a sketchy area (even if it's temporary)? The idea of living in a high-crime area that's regularly featured in the news is not appealing at all. On the other hand, paying a fortune just because a celeb and some millionares live in the area code isn't practical. The hunt is on....

School has started, and I have a crush on one of my teachers! He's young, Latin, and very eloquent. It's a history/ethnic studies class. I got into class late today and it was so full that some of us were standing in the back. I'm not even registered for it, still on the waiting list. Well, I hope to get in 'cause it seems very interesting.

I went back to my first post of the year dated January 2nd and I'm glad to say that I am fulfilling some of my resolutions. Right now I'm focusing on getting a ticket home for Christmas. Haven't been home in years and I've vowed that I need to go this Christmas. So I've gotta make the sacrifices and hope it works out.

A Pint or Two

There's something great about going out for a drink after work. With workmates. Although intoxication often gets a bad rap (with valid reasons-- e.g. damage to your liver), it has the amazing power of bonding people together. You know that straight-laced colleague who barely cracks a smile? Imagine how friendly they get after a couple of pints...Or imagine how relaxed you get after sipping on that ice-cold drink. Letting down inhibitions once in a while can be healthy--now, I'm not talking about walking up nude a day or two later on a strange yacht (somebody's real life experience by the way) sandwiched between 2 hairy dudes, or chics for that matter. I'm talking about saying exactly what's on your mind at the moment and expressing those innermost thoughts that go 'round and 'round your head. It seems like saying some things out loud make them more real. Some of us are constantly in the position of being a middleman/coordinator/diplomat that we may not say exactly what we think or perhaps we do it in a gentle way. Not because we are cowards or lack the balls, but because we see the bigger picture and realize that personal pride or the smugness of stating "I told you so" is short-lived. Sacrificing individual gain for communal benefit or using the teleological approach of focusing on the end result can motivate us in our labors. I know what that means, do you?

Karma

I believe in karma--and it's wonderful to be on the receiving end of something positive. Thank you, cab driver for not only getting me to my destination on time, but also giving me a free ride! (This guy was for real, he didn't have change for the note I was carrying so he said "it's ok." And there were no ulterior motives at all.) I got some of that positive energy to fuel the rest of my day. 'Twas a busy but fulfilling workday. I'm (yawn) going to sleep well tonight :)

Books, Birth, and Murder.

I'm currently engrossed in John Grisham's "The Broker". It's fast-paced and similar to his earlier bestsellers. Before that I read "Plain Jane" by Laurien Gardner, a tale about Jane Seymour and King Henry VIII, that famous English monarch who couldn't stop getting married. He executed 2 of his 6 wives. One of them was 30 years younger than him. Queen Jane was #3 and died a few weeks after giving birth.

Talking of giving birth, have you ever listened to new mothers share all the details of their gruesome ordeal? I understand that it is a life-changing and (usually) positive experience despite the 20 or 30-something hours of labor that new moms routinely endure. Two chics were saying that they're into the natural way, no drugs involved. OK... My view is "drugs are good! There's a reason epidurals were invented, and you can always elect to have a C-section." Anyway, I usually steer clear of this kind of talk coz I feel that I have little to contribute.

There's so much going on in the world from gangsters attacking the Russian diplomat in Kenya, airline security alerts, conflicts in the Congo & Middle East, to the recent spotlight on the JonBenet Ramsey murder case. That Karr dude is weird. The whole affair is suspicious and tragic. Now, seeing a very young child wearing make-up and parading in adult-style clothing is very strange. I think child beauty pageants should be done away with.

Food = Pleasure

There are few genuine pleasures in this world like coming home to a hot meal. Food is more than calories and a pyramid; it's also about the time, skill, and love that went into its preparation. Many of us will instantly think of our mothers when we think of enjoying a delicious, delectable meal. Since I'm so far from home, I often think of my talented sibling whose culinary skills have produced countless fingerlicking, satisfying meals. Thanks D! There are so many cultural beliefs surrounding food and many are rooted in practicality. In most urban areas around the world, there's a wide variety of international cuisine to sample. One of my favorite foods from home is ugali ya wimbi. At my digz, we've been considering becoming vegetarian or even just eating organic food for health reasons. I'm not ready to make drastic changes yet but will try to change some habits.

4 or 5 Things

I got this idea from somebody else; it's great coz I like making lists:

Jobs I have had:
1. Babysitter
2. Bakery & Cafeteria worker
3. Reader/Tutor
4. Front desk receptionist
5. Security dispatcher

Places I have lived:
1. Nairobi
2. Naivasha
3. Athi River
4. Eldoret (outskirts)

Movies I have watched over and over again
1. Sound of Music
2. My Best Friend's Wedding
3. Wizard of Oz
4. Grease

Places I have been on vacation:
1. Mombasa
2. San Diego
3. Houston
4. Reno

Places I'd rather be right now:
1. Home
2. Hawaii
3. Brazil
4. At a spa getting a massage

Items that must remain in the fridge:
1. Eggs
2. Cheese
3. Red wine
4. Water
5. Vegetables

Scary Stressful Experiences I've survived
1. Embassy appointment to get visa for U.S.
2. Being in a car accident and getting stranded hours away from our residence.
3. Jumping over a barbed wire fence while being chased by the neighbors' fierce dog.
4. Taking major national and state exams that determined my future.

My favorite leisure activities:
1. Walking outdoors
2. Playing Uno with my siblings
3. Reading a good book
4. Playing the simplest version of 'Canon in D' on the piano
5. Surfing the net and blogging!

The End

I saw my grade for the summer class that just ended and I'm happy =)

The turmoil and unrest in the world has a ripple effect. On Friday, I witnessed a demonstration by a group of Arabs/Muslim/Palestinians who were protesting against the Israeli attack on Lebanon. The group of men, women, and children marched down a major downtown street, chanting for their cause with police cars and motorcycles escorting them. When you can put a face to the struggle, you realize how harsh and brutal life--and death--are. Most days when I'm heading to work or somewhere else, I tune in to NPR news. It helps me stop brooding over the details of my pathetic life when I realize that on the other side of the world, innocent people are dodging bullets, bombs and fighting for their lives.

I'm not very religious (but rather spiritual) , although I have spent most of my life in religious communities and schools studying religion and theology. The book of Matthew chapter 24 talks about the signs of the end, which include natural disasters, wars, and conflicts. My view is the world should just end already! How many centuries ago was the end predicted? Even the new millenium was supposed to bring some huge dramatic event. I think in 1000 years, they'll still be predicting the end of the world. I don't really care anyway coz I won't be around.

Change

Change
is scary
and exciting
at the same time.

There are times we actively seek it,
when we are desperate to break out of the bubble.

So we leave our cocoons in search of adventure.
Or perhaps, adventure finds us.
Either way, we have to brace ourselves for the new and unexpected.

A Portfolio and SELF-focus

Got done with my summer class yesterday, phew! It was only a 1 unit class but it involved so much work. A group presentation plus the papers and assignments due the last day. I also had to put a professional portfolio together with a resume, my career objectives, philosophy, samples of projects I've done, etc. First of all, I felt like I didn't have very much to include. Then I searched through my papers, found my awards & certificates, a couple of papers from past classes and threw them in. So, in the end it wasn't that empty. I've been spending most of my time just doing my job and not getting involved in committees or projects. Now, I've realized I need to get involved in some professional organizations and be part of activities outside my regular job. Thing is, most of us start out very passionate about work. We study great ideas and we can hardly wait to practice them and bring changes--then comes the reality shock of the working world, the politics, the old guard who want to remain in the past.... If you work for a large company you may feel like an insignificant part of it; soon enough you just concentrate on doing your job, getting the hell out, and waiting for the paycheck. (Anybody feel me?) But that gets old. Then you realize that you need to reclaim your inspiration and pursue your goals regardless. No matter what you do or where you go there are times you'll be asking "What the hell am I doing here?" Even though it sounds so cliche, the answers need to come from within.

Even though most of us are socialized to always think of others first, I would like to rebuff that way of thinking to say that we need to think of ourselves first, then extend that courtesy to others around us. Being 'SELFish' has a negative connotation, but perhaps 'SELF-centered/focused' may have a better sound to it. Let me tell you more about it: growing up as a female, many of the things we learn are tied in to future marriage/motherhood. For example, "you should learn to cook ugali well, so you can feed your husband and children." Sometimes, it's tied in to representing your family/community/tribe; for example being told, "you need to study and work hard to bring us respect and honor." I don't argue with the basic idea of these statements, because they make sense. However, I have beef with the idea that the only reason I should cook ugali well is to feed a husband and kids with no mention of myself. Kwani I won't be cooking and eating ugali if I'm not married or a mother? When it comes to studying and working hard, I believe the idea of bringing honor to my family and community is inspiring, but I also need to be getting something out of it. In the end, I think everyone around me would benefit if I am happy, fulfilled, and successful at what I do. I am not in any way advocating for an entirely individualistic view of life instead of a communal one. (We can compare society here and at home.) I am proposing a more realistic way of doing things, coz anytime people do something they'll always ask "What am I getting out of it?" People are more motivated to do things if they know they're going to enjoy the fruits directly. Example, our parliament composed of individuals from multiple tribes/regions/political parties unanimously voted for a healthy pay raise and compensation package for themselves. Hey, they also agree to jet off for holiday. Just think, what if they all got together and agreed on another issue that not only benefited them, but the public and community at large?

An ipod moment and Flav2

Home at last. Had a fulfilling day at work. Just wolfed down a cheeseburger and sipped a cold MGD, aah...I tend to eat in front of my computer partly coz of entertainment, and partly coz I like sitting in the comfy blue ikea chair in front of it.

Things I find annoying:
1) People who call every one they meet 'baby" in whatever context, whether it's "you're still a baby, so young!" or "baby, let's go out sometime."

2) People who cuss constantly in public for no apparent reason but to act all 'gangsta' (esp. when they're obviously far from it)--Nobody wants to listen to you. I was riding on the bus and way in the back were 2 guys (drunk frat-boy types) just acting stupid, talking loudly, their vocab must have stopped developing in primary school. It was one of those times I wished I was one of those big, intimidating Samoan dudes and I could just turn around and yell "shut the fuck up!" Instead, I searched through my bag for something interesting to read. My phone battery had just died; I dubbed this "an ipod moment," it's that moment when you desperately wish you hadn't left your ipod at home coz it would be a perfect time to turn up the music and tune out what's around you.

3) The fact that the 'reality' show "Flavor of Love" part 2 is back. Seriously, wasn't season 1 enough? Much as I dislike the concept of the show, it is entertaining. Maybe it's a weird human urge to watch other people humiliating themselves in the name of love (love of money or the spotlight?). I think Flav picked the wrong chic last time, New York would have been perfect for him. Now there are fresh attractive recruits, tripping over each other to impress this tired-looking man who parades in pimpish outfits (come on, a red suit with a red shirt) and a huge clock around his neck.

Please hide them!

Last night, I broke a wine glass. Not big news in my digz as I hold the title of 'most likely to break something--anything!' But why did it have to be one of the new glasses I just bought last week? There comes a point in life when you look in your kitchen cupboard and find it wanting...regularly drinking wine out of styrofoam or plastic cups becomes a thing of the past. Even mango juice tastes better when served in a pretty glass. And going on a wine-tasting expedition or having a drink in a fancy restaurant will teach you a thing or two about how to serve wine. So, a trip to Crate and Barrel was the next step. It was my very first. I'm not the kind of person who'll usually notice details about dishes; I'm more about function--but there is a difference about eating a meal out of a plastic or metal bakuli while sipping tea from a glass (come on, who hasn't done this?) and eating off chinaware while sipping a cold drink from a sparkling stemmed glass. Oh well, the sad remains of that glass are now in the trash. The cool thing about being a grown-up is that nobody will yell at you for breaking things. I'm responsible for destroying enough of my parents beautiful dinnerware (wedding gifts perhaps?), but they love me anyway. So if anybody ever invites me for a meal, hide all the nice/expensive glasses and plates from me!

Mean

One of my worst fears is turning into the people I despise most (and there are several types). I've had a recent encounter with the following:

MEAN people. Everytime they open their mouths, they spit venom. When you are in the position to help them, they will criticize everything you do. Everyone tries to avoid them, and they know it. The words 'please' or 'thank you' cross their lips reluctantly and sound unconvincing. The Acolyte has a post about bitches and they also fall under this category. Men are also included in my 'mean' group. I'm not saying one has to be smiling 24/7, coz even perky people can be draining. You don't have to pretend to be nice. But, I hate that people with negative energy want to suck you into this deep dark hole. So you have a shitty life, guess what? So do most other people. All suffering isn't visible. I can confidently say to these types that " One of my worst nightmares is turning out like you."

"A terrible thing to Waste"

The lack of entries on my blog this past week does not in any way indicate my state of mind; on the contrary, I've been using my brain cells in all sorts of ways...Spent a day having orientation at the university. The information was useful and cleared up the confusion many of us had. Figuring out prereqs, GEs, etc. It's a really huge school so you need to know what you're doing to navigate your way around successfully. I've gone to small schools most of my life. The cafe food is good! There are several cafes with different types of food. I have eaten all kinds of things in the various schools I've attended: from hard nyoyo and strongi, to veggie burgers and scrambled tofu.

And my summer class is still going on. We met on Wednesday to have our customary discussions, lecture, and group time. Still haven't written my paper (which is 40% of the final grade)--can anyone say procrastinator out loud please? The good news is now I have a topic and some material I got from the public library. Also discovered I can access the library that belongs to a grad school in my 'hood so I'll be making a run there soon. Talking of public libraries, that's one of the impressive things about this country--they're free, resourceful, and accesible. Used to go check my mail there before I owned a computer.

Being a Mac fan, one of my objects of desire is one of the new laptops. I'll be taking advantage of my student discount for sure. Also want to join some professional organizations and museums coz they have deals for students. I was recently at a museum and was on a floor viewing pictures of black American freedom fighters and leaders--many I didn't recognize. There was a lady giving some teenage kids a tour so I stuck around to listen to the speech. Then it hit me how much I don't know about the history of black America. After Black History Month is over, the story of past and present struggles disappear into the background. The only book I own on the topic is "Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass" There are so many judgements we make on groups of people without looking at where they're coming from. I hate it when people do it to me, so I need to make an effort not to guilty of the same. Got to learn more history and expand my thinking, in the words of the United Negro College Fund, " A mind is a terrible thing to waste."

Cleaning Out My Closet

This evening, I saw a couple of great examples of 'What Not To Wear":
1) Sandak--do they even make these anymore? Or rather, do any grown people wear them? (I remember having a pair of light blue ones in nursery school) Well, yeah...as I discovered today...even here in the US of A, they just give them a different name--jelly sandals.
2)Layering a pair of shorts over a pair of trousers. Do not do this! It will make you look like a bum.

Other things not to wear:
3) Pants that give you a constant wedgie.
4) KBS aka 'kiatu bila socks'--the exception is when wearing sandals or certain kinds of loafers.

Anyhow, enough of critiquing other people's clothes--I recently took a closer look at my own wardrobe too. Took some things to Goodwill, a few were handed down, others were trashed. After watching the Oprah show about women wearing wrong bra sizes, I was inspired to throw out some of mine.Then you know what happened next...a trip to Victoria's Secret! I think we all hold onto clothes for sentimental reasons, even if we don't wear them. I confess to holding onto an ex-boyfriend's 'Superman' t-shirt for ages. But, on a cleaning binge realized the stuff at the back of the closet had to go. Such is life.

Secret Diary 'n' a Stroll on the Beach

Haven't had anything interesting to post about lately. One word to describe my life right now is 'blah'. I tend to write a lot more when I'm really angry or happy--so later I can look back at the situation and see what's changed. When I started high school, I kept a diary. At that time, it was such a risque thing to do in case of discovery. I used to write down everything on my mind, stuff people said, observations I made, my feelings and views, etc...It's not like I had any deep dark secrets, but it was one of the major transition points in my life.

I had left home for the first time to attend large girls' boarding school in my shagz. (Exactly why is this so popular with parents? I've heard something along the lines of 'we don't want our kids corrupted.') Luckily the school was in town and the rules more reasonable than others. Anyhow, I lasted there for 1 year and 2 terms then transferred somewhere else. I still had the diary with me. I'd go back and read all the things I wrote and it kept me entertained! Some entries were funny, others frustrating and humiliating. In the end, I decided to destroy the diary because it was too personal and I never wanted anybody else to read it. Sometimes, the memories have to remain in your mind.

2 days ago, I could only come up with one sentence, "I feel overwhelmed." It's like you have such a big pile of work to do, don't know where to start, so you just take a coffee break to reflect on it. Tuesday was a very stressful workday mainly because of one person. She was the direct supervisor that day but didn't give me all the information I needed at the start of the day. So I obviously wasn't very organized. Luckily, I got to go home early (with a pounding headache). After taking a pill and sipping water, my sis and I headed to the beach to enjoy the rest of the sunny day. It was so relaxing to walk barefoot along the shore. People walked their dogs, some jogged (including a mom w/ a stroller), couples held hands, and others tanned on the beach. We chatted with 3 cool surfers and basked in the sun, sipping Vitamin Water. There's something powerful when you see the waves rolling in and the blue/gray ocean stretching into the horizon as the orange sun dips down. By the time I got home, I felt so calm. =)

Forgetful

I'm so pissed off at myself! (banging head...) Blew off an important appointment earlier today, don't know how I spaced out and forgot. I remembered when it was too late. I'd even written it down in my little calendar that I carry everywhere with me. Oh well...life goes on.

Beginning or End?

Sunday: debated as either the beginning or the end of the week.
Some go to church, like one lady I bumped into on the elevator wearing a suit and cheerfully throwing a "God Bless You!" my way. I don't live in a religious city so it's uncommon to have a random person say 'God' or 'Jesus' in conversation. I'm often surrounded by people into Buddhism. Also haven't been to church in at least a year; a major life change coz I spent years living in very religious communities.
Others are recovering from hangovers.
Some of us shuffle into Starbucks at an unholy hour to get a caffeine fix before work. I don't want to get deep into that. It's interesting to see and hear different reactions when I tell people I'm back in school. Most are encouraging. I hear a number of the older people say they wish they had a chance to go back, but now it's too late. (I disagree about it being too late...) But life's circumstances can lead you down that path. Parents sacrifice resources for their kids. Others ask me why? Everyone has certain ambitions, could be getting a GED or PhD; banking six-figures or, hell, anything; being CEO or even landing a job in a prestigious company; becoming a parent and/or making a great marriage match; owning a beautiful home, getting published, a Pulitzer, a Nobel, etc...There are broad definitions for 'making it.' Does it ever end? Say, you're aiming to be a manager in your department and, boom! you are, won't you start looking at for the next thing up? Or are you complacent? Like most people, I'm dealing with both internal and external pressure to progress forward. And I was in my dream house last weekend for a hang-out: it was spacious, sparkling, new appliances, 2 floors, winding staircase, big kitchen, fab views... I even took a picture in the bathroom (marble, anyone?) I'd fit in perfectly!


P.S. I believe Sunday is the beginning of the week.

Be Careful What you Wish For...

It May Just Come True!

The past few days, I was feeling both physically and mentally sluggish. I'm glad that I feel better now. Here's a quick confession: I was looking at all the sick time I've accumulated at work and thinking "I wish I could use that up and just take off somewhere." Then I came to realize that if I was sick enough to stay away from work, I probably wouldn't feel like doing anything else.

My summer class started today. As I walked across campus, I smiled because 9 months ago I was there, wishing I could be one of the students with a backpack slung across my shoulder rushing to my next class. My wish came true! Of course, there are still other challenges but the major things are going according to plan. After some time in the working world, I saw for myself that a higher level of education was very necessary to move on to better things. It's one of those things that peroz said all the time, but having my own experience made it more real. Well, this class I'm taking is only 1 unit, but it's going to take a lot of work coz it's over in 5 weeks. The teacher seems alright, she was telling us all the assignments required and everyone seemed overwhelmed. We even have to do a group presentation--as a rule, I don't like group activities, I'd rather do the work my way in my own time--but most of the people seem motivated.

Now, going off on a tangent, I saw a couple of odd things on a menu today. I was standing on a corner outside a Vietnamese restaurant and spotted 'Snake Soup' and among the sides 'Raw egg.' I tried to take a picture with my phone for evidence but the words were too small. How hungry would one be to eat any of these? I don't want to know....

Full Moon

They say when there's a full moon outside, all kinds of things happen. It can explain a crazy, hellish (ok...maybe I'm exaggerating) day at work. Why is it that when one thing happens, all hell breaks loose? And it's always last-minute when you just wanna get out. Dealing with different people has many levels of frustration.

Home at last. A hot shower, and change of pjs later, I'm sitting at the kitchen table eating noodles, spring rolls, dumplings with sweet 'n sour filling, and another kind of dim sum dipped in sesame seeds. I'm also sipping a mug of hot herbal tea from home. I've been having a sniffly nose all day, trying to fight off a cold/flu. I woke up 2 or 3 times last night feeling really hot and wanting to blow my nose. Debated calling in sick but decided to just suck it up coz I already took a sick day this week to sightsee and enjoy the great weather. No regrets with that.

P.S. Been watching Footballer's Wives, great storyline and drama! Took a while to understand their accents though.

*_*

I
am
sorely in need of a massage
and
drowning in paperwork.

My
thoughts
and
prayers
are with
the friend
whose mother died.

One
of my siblings
posed
the question:
"If you had only 1 year to live, what would you do?"

All of a sudden,
some things
don't seem
so important
anymore.

The Show and How to Give a Compliment

Passed by a street festival this past weekend, and the sights took me back many years to The Show in Nairobi. Anyone who's ever been knows all the excitement and fun involved with it: food, ice-cream, rides, balloons, music, exhibitions, stalls with vendors selling all kinds of things, wearing paper/plastic visors to shield your face from the sun, watching the marching band perform, the crowds, and the speeches from important govt. people. Got the chance to attend shows in other smaller towns when we moved out of the city. When I was in school in shagz, we got the day off to go to town coz the Prezo would be opening it that day which equals free entrance and a day off (major excitement). This also meant that the school would get some money donated, the headmistress informed us with a beaming face. It was fun, except I got caught up in the middle of the crowd when the gates were opened and there was a major stampede to enter. From that day on, I avoid being in the center of crowds in any public area. Some people had so much fun that they came to school late and got in trouble. Oh well, what do they expect when they suddenly let teenagers loose from the restrictions and tightly-regulated routines?

I got a compliment at work recently when this man said I was very diplomatic and I must get that from my dad.
"Thanks!" I replied, thinking I learned this from both peroz and from being a middle child. And I've made the following observation: at work, the women usually ask questions about my mom and the men ask about my dad. Funny, huh? I'm always glad to get a compliment on their behalf.
If you ever have a compliment to give, you should say it directly to the person because so many people don't realize nice things about themselves coz they never hear them. There are times you're trying so hard and you think nobody noticed it, then out of the blue you get a commendation for it. It's a wonderful feeling. Please go out and pay somebody a genuine compliment today!

More on Me

1. My ex is: a really great guy-- smart, driven, attractive and fun.

2. I am listening to: Stephen Colbert's wisecracks on Comedy Central.

3. Maybe I should: (a) call my parents (b) go to church sometime

4. I love: my parents, siblings, close buddies, books, fast internet connections, comedy,...too many other things to mention.

5. My best friend: is on a different continent.

6. I don't understand: quantum physics, marriage, how rats become pets, and the obsession with celebrity couples.

7. I lose: at most competitive sports.

8. People say: I look really young.

9. The meaning of my screen name is: nada.

10. Love is: complicated and takes time and experiences to grow. The word is way over-used.

11. Somewhere, someone is: getting drunk.

12. I will always: remember my roots and think about the bigger picture.

13. Forever seems: too uncertain and unbearably long.

14. I never want to: die a slow, painful death.

15. My cell phone is: new, I'm still figuring out how it works.

16. When I wake up in the morning: I hit snooze and say "5 more minutes."

17. I get annoyed at: burger king commercials; infomercials; arrogant, rude, & loud people.

18. Parties are: usually fun, depends on the crowd.

19. My dog is: small, white and fluffy...did I mention stuffed?

20. Kisses are the worst when: they're sloppy.

21. Today I did: shopped for groceries, cleaned, cooked, and went to the library.

22. Tonight I will: Read Barrack Obama's book before I sleep.

23. Tomorrow I will: run errands.

24. I really want: a ticket home for Christmas.

25. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?: Face is clean.

26. What's a word that rhymes with "FUCK"?: Truck.

27. Bright or Dark Room?: Dark.

28. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on?: The bigger one.

29. What was the last thing you said to some one? "You want me to close the door?...Goodnight."

Small world

Damn, how does the world seem so big one moment and then shrink the next? When you unexpectedly run into people you know from somewhere else, or somebody comes up to you and says they remember you from place x (and it's for real! not a pick-up line). It can be great to recognize a friendly face in the crowd. But, sometimes it's the last face you wanna see, ie a person you dislike. It's irritating when a person you've interacted with very briefly acts like you're really close. Out with fake smiles and forced pleasantries, whatever happened to saying a simple hello and moving on?

M' iTunes

Songs I'm lovin' right now:

1) Trippin' by Toni Braxton--talk about a comeback! She looks hot and sounds hotter.

2) Over my head by The Fray--this Denver band rocks, I'm just dying to see them perform in my city this summer (tix already sold out). The music video features the lead singer and his younger bro.

3) Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado and Timbaland--major image revamp for Nelly, her vocals are still strong. Timbaland has one of the sexiest voices I've ever heard and natural talent.

3) Unfaithful by Rihanna--the girl has a great voice, cool video.

4) Anything by Bamboo--this Kenyan rap artist has talent! His lyrics flow and make sense. Saw him perform in L.A. during Rugby Sevens weekend. Wish he'd come tour my city. Now, where can I buy one of his CDs?

5) Clarinet Concerto Adagio by Mozart--that quote about "music soothing the savage beast" must have been about this song. When I'm tense or trying to sleep, listening to this relaxes me. It's 7 min. long (yawn...)


Songs I detest:

1) Anything by Pussycat Dolls.

2) My humps by Black-Eyed Peas--After unleashing "Where is the Love" and a couple other songs, they must have run out of ideas. This song is annoying!

3) Temperature by Sean Paul--the song is sawa, but it's a reminder of somebody who really liked it. Can't listen to the song without thinking about the person, so I don't wanna hear the song.

4) Laffy Taffy by D4L--it's playing on the radio right now! I wouldn't date a guy who liked this song.

The Other Side

I watched Paradise Now last night, and I'm blown away.

Right at the end when Said remains behind while Khaled goes back, I wasn't totally surprised. It seemed like they switched roles half-way through because at first, Khaled seemed more passionate about their cause. Said was soft-spoken and calm under pressure, but underneath that was the cold hard resolve to reclaim his dignity in the face of occupation. This film is powerful because it doesn't sugarcoat the situation, force one to choose sides, or even project a fairy-tale end to the never-ending Israeli-Palestinian conflict. It does something really powerful: it gives a glimpse behind the headlines and portrays the humanity of a people stripped of their dignity and their extreme attempts to reclaim it; it makes you think about the other side of the story, which is also the name of a book by Marian Keyes I read recently. It's chic-lit with a twist: 3 women narrate their own side of the story. The main reason I read it was to find out Jo's views; she is dating her married boss Mark. Entertaining!

Random rant of the day: What is it with movies or shows being set in an African country and not featuring any of the local people? For example, an episode of 'Next Top Model' (which I don't even like) shot in South Africa barely showed any black people. All the drivers, designers, tour guides, and random people at hotels shown were white or Indian. Where are the black people at? It's like all those Kenyan films where the only black person you see is the cook, a flat character with only 2 words to say "Yes madam." How can we have our story told by outsiders? It's usually biased and condescending towards the people. We need to retain our dignity if nothing else.

Summer bbqs, Juneteenth, and Dad's Day

"So what do you do for fun?" is a question I ask and answer when I'm getting to know people. This weekend, I got to do one of my fave things: attend a house party/bbq. It was fun and had the right amount of everything: blend of people, great food, lots of alcohol, and lively music. I'm not into clubbing anymore: I'd rather go to a pub or house. I've learned that the word 'party' can mean anything from a crew of friends hanging out, to a dinner, and all the way to a full-blown event--it just depends who you're talking to. It's interesting to hang out with different crowds and see how they like to party. Brazilians get my top vote for best people to party with.

I passed by a Juneteenth festival this afternoon. This holiday, dating back to June 19th, 1865, "commemorates the end of slavery in the U.S." Did anyone ever learn this in history class? I just learned about the holiday recently. A few blocks on the main street were closed off to make room for booths with food, jewelry, random collectibles, and a couple stages with musicians performing. It was cool to see black families enjoying a family day. I even spotted a police department recruitment booth and for some reason I thought it was funny. Another observation I made was that most of the people selling jewelry and African print textiles were Asians. They also own and run most of the beauty supply stores that sell hair products for black women. Hmm..These people are very enterprising, everything is 'made in China!' I think it's about time we learned something from them. When businesses make profits, they channel them back into their communities giving themselves more economic power.

Happy Father's Day! Got my Dad a fabulous gift which will be hand-delivered to him sometime next month. It's gonna be a cool surprise!

Baby please!

My favorite Uncle (he's like a second Dad) and his wife just got a baby. I spent yesterday afternoon shopping for baby clothes. Willingly. (Disclaimer: I've previously aired my views on kids: I don't want to give birth to any now, or in the future. ) This baby is very special and I'm campaigning to be a favorite cousin. I still remember what it was like to be a little kid and have some wonderful older cousins pay attention to me or give me a special treat. Despite my disclaimer above, I don't hate kids. And I just realized what cute clothes they have. There are a million other things that are being marketed to Moms and Dads, and I'm thinking "what the hell is that?" Thanks to celebz, there's a lot of interest in designer products for baby. Some are cool, most are just a waste of time and merely status symbols (isn't everything?). There's a this thing called a baby leash. I first saw it being used at the airport, then in a nearby neighborhood. Seems brilliant for handling active toddlers in public places. (Or naughty adults in private...)


P.S. I hate the Burger King commercials with some guy wearing a chicken costume. Seriously, who came up with this ad? That feathery monster just grosses me out and everyone in my digz.

I'm like totally excited! I got accepted!

Major pet-peeve:
People who say 'like' or 'totally' about 10 times in one sentence. It's such an airhead expression.

Yesterday, I got great news. I was accepted into a school program in my city for this Fall. I didn't think I would get in this year coz I got a denial letter before, so I had plan B and C in place (one involved moving to Hawaii for a few months). Main reason for denial was a couple of prereqs I hadn't done, so I was taking the classes at the local community college. Another thing is the program has limited spots. As most people abroad can attest, it's difficult to balance studies and work. I'd been away from school for a while so my study skills were rusty, anyway I passed my classes! Yay! Actually got an A in Philosophy (the teacher was generous in giving extra credit). As for Chemistry, I'll just say I'm glad I don't have to repeat the class. It's over.
Now, the process of planning for school begins. I'm rather excited about it coz it's taking me closer towards my future plans and ambitions. I remember those last months at home when everybody would ask why you were leaving home and what you wanted to study. At the time, life seemed simple. Now, I realize how much work and effort must be done for plans to succeed. I have renewed respect and love for my parents. I'm feeling optimistic right now and I'm fulfilling my New Year's Resolutions. I hope #1 will happen this December holiday. I've done part of #2 in changing hours, I'm planning to move from that place at the end of the summer. I know it's time to move on to a new phase.

Another highlight: Brazil winning Croatia 1-0. The Croatians put up a fight and were better than I thought. But in the end, Brazil is it!

Thumbs down: The Armenian scandal and the way State House is mishandling it. It reeks of high-level corruption and is doing considerable damage to us and our country. Every other day, I meet somebody who's taking a trip to Kenya and they ask questions. It's guaranteed that many will cancel their holidays as the travel advisories roll out once again. And that brutal attack on a high school boy in Nairobi and the way his situation was mishandled by the school officials is so sad. Tafadhali, enforce the Sexual Offences Bill right now and put the cruel perpetrators away from society.

Krav and German Goals

A few days ago, I went to check out a Krav Maga class (Israeli self-defense martial art). What a workout! It was rather intense, and although I thought I was fit in general, my musles were sore and achy the next day. It's really fun and practical too, so I'm thinking about joining. One observation I made was there were more men than women in the class. It seems like women seem more aware of their body image, but the men are more active in getting out there. A hasty generalization, I know. Or perhaps women prefer aerobics, yoga, and dance?

Anyway, the World Cup has started! Germany beat Costa Rica (4-2). I just caught bits of the game coz I was at work. Hope to see a lot more soon. Well, I'm off to work now!

An Omen?

I just had write something today. The date is 06/06/06 or 666.
Some churches say this number has meaning and there's something evil about it. Revelation refers to it as "the mark of the beast."
I don't really know.
Disasters happen on any other day so I don't know what makes this day any worse. It's not the end of the world just yet.

Ati there's a town called Hell in Michigan. They planned a celebration for today. I'm superstitious so I wouldn't ever live there!

A reliable source tells me that horror movies usually rank high in the box office. Well, I know I'm not contributing to any of that coz I don't watch horror. I don't even want to see the trailer or adverts for the new movie "The Omen." Even though I know there's fake stuff (Scream), I don't want to see anything to do with exorcisms, or massacres. Real life gets scary enough. I know if I watch those movies, I'll be getting flashbacks at odd times. So, no thanks, it's not for me.

6 Facts About...

Me!

I've been tagged by The Outlaw Torn.

The rules:-
- Post six weird facts/habits about yourself. These cannot be used against you later on : )
- At the bottom name the six people you will tag next.
- Leave them a comment to let them know they've been tagged and to read your blog.

6 Weird Facts about myself:

1. I'm obsessed with cleaning my ears: I always keep a stock of q-tips handy. It's part of my morning and bedtime routine. I even do it in the middle of the day. It all started after this guy slobbered all over my ear one evening....

2. I used to love eating plain lettuce in high school. I relished fresh, crunchy iceberg lettuce with nothing on it: no dressing or vinegar. My buddies used to dis me about it. I even had an embarassing photo published of me devouring a head of lettuce; now I think it's funny. I don't do it anymore though.

3. A lot of people confide their secrets to me. I guess they find it easy to talk to me. I've heard all kinds of confessions so few things shock me anymore. I'm not telling anything! On the other hand, I have a hard time confiding in people.

4. My ideal body is that of Serena or Venus Williams. I would love to be an athlete with rippling muscles and incredible strength.

5. Every time I wake up, I have to make my bed. Even though some other things are out of place, a neat bed just makes the room look so much neater. I guess my Mom's admonitions to clean and neaten things rubbed off on me, or was it the years of boarding school routine?

6. If I drink hot coffee or tea from a mug in a restaurant or a stranger's house, I'll usually hold the handle in my left hand (I'm right-handed) because I'm subconsciously thinking of all the people who've sipped from that same cup and their germs.

I'm tagging Acolyte who always has something interesting to say, Future Diplomat--hope this will be a cheerful distraction, La Belle Kenyanne please share, Nakeel I'd like to get a closer glimpse of you, Omar I bet you'll be very unique, and Sayesha who has lots of fascinating ideas.

Being Kenyan on Madaraka Day

Happy Madaraka Day!
Quick recap: this is a national holiday in Kenya that "celebrates the anniversary of self-government." It dates back to June 1st, 1964. It's often confused with Jamhuri Day, our Independence Day that was on Dec 12th, 1963. However, I'm not going into the political aspects of the holiday. I'm making this personal! This is about me being a Kenyan.

I am purely Kenyan: my passport and experiences prove it. I was born and bred there like my ancestors before me. It's my home because that where my roots are. There is so much to reminisce about: Farmer's Choice sausages and chips, slaughtering a goat for Christmas, braving pot-holed, muddy roads to go shagz & visit grandperoz, being welcomed into homes with hot chai, boarding schools, report forms (aiming for no. 1), mitush, VM, Splash, going to the show, buying sweets and bread at the local kiosk, crazy neighbors, friendly neighbors, dressing up for church, the comforts that peroz worked hard to provide, holidays, plucking chickens and cooking for visitors, shopping @ uchumi, the local market, etc. Life wasn't perfect, but I couldn't imagine being from anywhere else. I like to share my growing up experiences with people who have a limited view of Kenya. Of course, our wildlife is important--we've enjoyed those trips to Masaai Mara (it has the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen). And it just happened that a famous marathon runner or two lived in my old neighborhood. We're proud of them! But what about the majority of people whose lives revolved around other things? There are so many stories...that's why blogging is so great! We get to hear some different and some similar stories that connect us and teach us things we'd never know. KBW was a great idea.

Anytime we celebrate an anniversary whether it's a birthday or the birth of a nation, we reflect on where we started, and how far we've come since then. Somebody famous (who?) said "life is a journey, not a destination." On that note, I'm going to quote something I wrote on August 9, 2003:

[Before my sister and I came to study in the United States 2+ years ago, our father, a very wise man, told us this: He said that it is important to know where you are from. I didn't fully understand it then, but now I have seen the light. Our culture is our identity--it makes us distinct so we are not just another faceless person in the crowd. And this is very important when you live in a country where you are classified as a minority--and associated with all the negative things that come with it. When you have a sense of self, it gives you pride and dignity and helps you keep your focus. After a while, people will notice that you are different and you can excel at what you do. When I was in Kenya, I used to be amused when a person gave a lengthy introduction, "My name is so-and-so, my father is...my mother is...my home village is...the nearest market is...in this location...in that sub-location..our chief is..and our MP is...." then the person would continue to give a mini-history of his family--including marriages and children. Now I understand why all this is imporant. We need to have a sense of history and know where we came from as we try to find our place in the world. ]

What a rush!

A buddy recently told me about her adventure skydiving.
"Wow! what a rush!" I replied, "I'd be scared to death if I had to jump out of a plane."
So, I have a fear of heights. Many people do. I also can't swim. Years ago, I took lessons but the moment I get in deep water I panic. Maybe someday I'll have the courage to face the fear. I enjoy boating but if it tipped over, that would be it. One of my fave books as a child was called Narrow Escapes (gift from a good friend in primo) and it featured stories of shipwrecks in wild seas. I enjoyed reading them but I resolved never to sail around the world.

It seems like a lot of people hunt for activities that challenge their physical and mental endurance; that adrenaline rush must be addictive. I've gone on a couple of amusement park rides that gave me that rush: even though I logically knew I'd get back down, there was a moment when I was suspended up there when I thought, "this is the end!" And one of the best tours I've had in my city was riding on the back of a motorcycle. It was a spontaneous afternoon ride I took with a certain gentleman. Very exciting! In the end, I prefer to remain on solid ground.

ABCs

All or nothing.
Be the best or remain invisible.
Climb to the top of the ladder, or stay out of the mad scramble.

A pledge of lifelong loyalty and devotion, or sever all ties.
Break the barrier or stand aside in the shadows.
Conquer the world, or be a servant.

Action!
Beware of vows made in the heat of the moment.
Can you live with them?

Hatin' Holidays and the Tax Man

When I first saw this, it cracked me up! This is how I feel about holidays. Let me rephrase that: it's how I feel about the over-commercialization of holidays. Plus, it's not a holiday for me if I'm working so I could care less. Thanks to annoying tv commercials and the advertising industry, we'll never forget when it's time for us to empty our accounts coz our significant others will feel horribly neglected if we don't give them gifts. I do enjoy shopping for gifts for those I love, but I don't like the message from adverts:"You have to go out and buy all this crap right now!" I find those perky, high-pitched (often female) voices annoying. I even hate checking my voice mail coz I hate the voice mail lady's voice:"please enter your password." Is that strange?

I'm tired of memorizing passwords, usernames, code images, and pin numbers. There are the routine things like e-mail and online bills, but these days you have to sign up to read news, or browse some online stores. We have to be careful coz of identity theft, but the next thing you know, they'll be asking for blood type and tissue samples to prove we are ourselves. Maybe the idea of implantable microchips in our forearms isn't that bad; they seem to work for pets.

I would willingly have a chip implanted in my arm if my state tax board would give me my refund check sooner. Somewhere, in a landfill or a garbage dump is a check with my name on it. I waited for it with great anticipation, the same way you wait for a phone call from that 'special somebody' who makes your heart beat faster and puts a big smile on your face. Problem: it never came! Partly my fault coz they still had my old address on file. The people in my old place decided to throw out all the mail that didn't belong to them. So, I go online to check the status of the refund, but I can't get info. I dial the 1-800 number and I'm greeted by that brilliant automated voice system: "para espanol, oprima numero dos." (And they wonder why people don't speak English? )
The lines were constantly busy, it was like trying to get a visa appointment at the US embassy in Nairobi. After multiple calls, I get through, give the various numbers to id myself and state that I never got my check. The dude on the other end sounds bored as he explains what I have to do: sign the form I'll receive in 2 weeks, mail it back, wait for verification from them that I didn't actually cash the check, and finally get the damn thing.
Sounds straight up--but "it could take up to 5 months."
WTF! In this day of fedexing stuff overnight and wiring funds around the world in minutes it can take 2 weeks to mail a stupid form. And months for them to track down the check and mail it to me. It doesn't make sense! I am furious but I gotta do it. Hope nobody else has to go through this. There's no escaping the tax man!

Pets,'Reality' & My little crush

There's a breed of dogs known as the "Leonberger." They're intelligent, calm, affectionate, loyal, and friendly. They can even save me from drowning. What more do I need in a companion? Nada. My eldest sibling has sike to get a puppy, but we can't have any pets in our apartment. I can handle any kind of pet except a reptile, and most rodents. One of my workmates has a snake. And it's not one of those tiny garden ones either. I think it's a boa constrictor or something. When the honey had a birthday bash at her digz, I saw the snake sleeping in a huge glass cage. Thankfully, the cage was covered while we were there. What is this crazy urge to bring the jungle home with you?

The term 'reality show' is rather ironic, don't you think? Some are dumb, others entertaining. I met a dude who tried out for The Apprentice. Which show would you go on if you had the chance?
For me, it's simple: MTV's "Made."

There's this MTV show called "My Super Sweet 16" that features superwealthy kids planning parties to celebrate their birthdays. Talk about extravagance, arrogance, and people with money to burn! These teenagers have a major sense of entitlement, they even push their parents around. There's this really cute, dimpled boy called Darnell who's recreating the 'Coming to America' scene with dancers. Isn't it amazing how just looking at some people will put a smile on your face and lift your spirits?

On my recent trip out of town, I was crushing on this hot guy. Actually, there were cute guys everywhere I turned. But this one is special...I have pictures! He is a fine Kenyan with a nice ass (of course) and a wicked sense of humor. But at times, we are not in a position to give our hearts away. But it's nice to know the great options out there. On the other hand, it is such a relief to look back at some former crushes and wonder, "What the hell was I thinking?"

A place of refuge

I've been reading about Ayaan Hirsi Ali, the striking Somali born Dutch politician who is now resigning from her post in Parliament due to pressure about lies on her asylum application and is also being kicked out of her residence because neighbors complained she's a threat to their safety (Muslim extremists have been making threats to her life for the past few years) so she's taking up a new gig in D.C. Well, this woman is not only beautiful, but also intelligent and articulate in several languages. She lived in Kenya before moving to Europe. She has a lot of guts to say things are they are, and offended fundamental Muslims. There's been a lot of controversy surrounding her situation.

Asylum and immigration are hot button topics on this side of the Atlantic too. Dubya and the Senate are working on getting a bill passed while millions hold their breath. But not for long...life must go on. No matter where you are in the world, you've got to wake up, shower, get dressed, and work so that at the end of the day you can have a hot meal and a safe place to rest your fatigued body. Some people are getting very militant on this issue, "we need more laws!" No. I disagree, there are already numerous laws in place but they haven't always been enforced. Or rather, the wrong group is being subjected to new restrictions monthly. Why exactly do students have to be hassled so much?

I've heard about a crooked lawyer who has swindled a lot of our friends from south of the border. People trying to get makaratasi were told about this guy, so they paid a hefty deposit for services after being told they could get asylum. The lawyer would take cases that he knew were hopeless. Even when there's hope, the avg processing time is in yrs--there's a serious backlog of cases. You want a dependable pro handling your case. No matter the outcome, you're going to pay. You walk into the office and the lawyer says "Good morning" and you've already been billed. You'd better get straight to the point and have all documents on hand coz by the time you're being told "Goodbye" you may have spent your next paycheck! At the end of the day, we are all searching for asylum aka "a place of refuge and protection."

Handcuffed!

We live in an unpredictable world. Check this out: one moment, I'm standing on the sidewalk listening to "Kenyan Boy, Kenyan Girl" by Necessary Noize on my ipod. Next thing, there are 3 cop cars in the middle of the street in front of me, sirens blaring. 6 men in blue step out of their cars and surround a shifty, bummy looking man. A few minutes before, the man was yelling something incomprehensible, now he was handcuffed and being searched. They pulled something out of his pocket. One of the cops walked to a building on the same block and questioned a woman standing by the door. I don't usually check out cops, but I've been seeing some hot ones lately! There's something attractive about a man in uniform. One of the things on my wishlist is a pair of fur-lined handcuffs.

Something else I've been checking out lately is guys' asses. A firm, toned round butt is a true ASSet!

Classes are over in the next week. I don't even care about the grades anymore. I just want it to be over.

Thirsty or hungry? Take a break!

I started out the morning feeling really thirsty, I gulped a bottle of water before leaving for work. No breakfast. Not unusual when I have to get up early--I'm just not hungry early in the day. I like to eat leisurely meals when I have enough time to savor the flavors in every bite. So I get to work and, an hour later, develop a pounding headache. It was kind of weird. I don't usually get headaches, unless I've been crying really hard. Tylenol usually does the trick so that's what I took. Then I downed a cup of coffee. Time crawled by, like a senior citizen driving in front of you on the narrow, windy road down the mountain. I seized the chance to take an early lunch thinking some Sobe Lizard Fuel and a croissant sandwich would perk me up.

When I got back to work, I was feeling funny: slightly lightheaded, and weak. I felt like my blood sugar was running low, I knew I was dehydrated, and I didn't want to pass out. I told one of my workmates who gave me a glucose tablet to chew and checked my blood sugar. It was within the normal range but I wasn't feeling great. While I sat and sipped my drink, my workmate was asking me some questions like whether I ate breakfast or lunch. When I thought about it, I realized it wasn't much. She told me, "You need to take care of yourself and eat something every morning." In my mind, I'm thinking, "I know that!" But guess what, knowing is one thing, action is another.

Especially for those of us who are young and healthy. We push ourselves knowing our bodies can take almost anything. Sleep deprivation, unbalanced meals, loads of caffeine, processed sugar, large amounts of alcohol are part of our lives--for some more than others. We know we should drink more water, and eat fruits and vegez daily. Once in a while we get a reality check. All the plans we make for tomorrow, next month, and next year are based on our health. Anyway, I started feeling better. And I got to leave work early coz it was a slow day. God bless my workmate who drove me right to my doorstep! I got home and changed into comfy clothes, shortly I was enjoying a delicious hot meal of pilau, Napa cabbage, and bean soup. Now I feel fabulous! Just takin' it easy and having an early night.

Heard...and Seen {-_-}

Memorable movie quotes:
1) "We are the Catholic church, we can do anything." Casanova.
2) "Deep down, I'm really shallow." Shark Tale.
3) "We want free!" Amistad.
4) "Just when I thought that I was out, they pull me back in" The Godfather.
5) "I'm not a Las Vegas showgirl, I'm a headliner!" Sister Act 2.

Today,
while walking home from the neighborhood Safeway, I passed by an old couple strolling. The woman was walking slightly ahead and she'd slow down and urge the man to walk faster. He looked like he's lived through both world wars, the fall of the Soviet Union, and seen the computer shrink from occupying an entire field to something you can carry in one hand. Anyway, I think old couples are sweet when they still seem enthralled by each other. Talking of strange couple behavior, I remember some men who would rarely walk with their wives. As in, they are both going to church or something at the same time but you see the husband about 5 feet ahead striding confidently while the wife trails behind. What is up with that? Maybe I never got the memo, but is it a cultural thing or just a personal thing? Either way, I don't like it. It implies lack of consideration among other things.

It's high season for sports, obviously. Saw a bunch of little leaguers in uniform. Planning to see a live baseball game and looking forward to World Cup. I recently hang out in some sports bars (with some dudes of course) watching the Lakers vs Suns game and it was quite interesting. I know the general rules but the finer details escape me. But that's just me. There must be some kind of genetic code programmed in males that attracts them to sports. If a man enters a room and there's a game on tv, he'll instantly gravitate in that direction like steel shavings to a magnet. I think there's also a code programmed in females that attracts them to magazines. I've tried to analyze their attraction from a logical view without success. I'm talking magazines like Cosmo, Marie Claire, Seventeen, Redbook, etc. If you grab a sample of these, you'll realize there are some dominant themes and articles that keep getting published every month: "10 ways to please your man," "Discover the real fabulous you," "Meals that tantalize the senses" "Serve yourself for dessert tonight" Even guys who bitch about magazines giving ladies senseless ideas have probably been the recipient of some exciting experiment from those same magazines. (Say 'thank you Cosmo!') Some of those tips are pretty useful, but I think it's the pictures and real-life examples ( love the embarassing stories and confessions) that make the magazines irresistible. Who knows? Who even really cares? Not much harm is done, so hand me that Cosmo!

Da Vinci, Bad drivers, & the Cocktail Within

This past weekend, I had a great trip out of town: saw old buddies, ate a lot, drank plenty, and had a wonderful time socializing. Enjoyed the sunny west coast weather and the sights. On my way there, I sat next to a pleasant older couple. After chatting briefly with the gentleman, I saw 'Angels and Demons' by Dan Brown in his hand. I asked if he'd read 'The Da Vinci Code.' He had but wasn't enthusiastic about its portrayal of secret societies. The he showed me his Mason ring. There are so many myths surrounding them but I won't get into that. I do know for a fact that they are very wealthy and run children's hospitals (Shriners) which give free care--but the kids have to meet certain criteria. This has to be one of the most widely read books around the world. It has sparked off genuine interest in religious history, art, Europe, the Knights Templar, secret rituals, Leonardo da Vinci, and Jesus. Lots of other books on the subject have since been published, and there are tours that highlight the museums and churches mentioned. The movie had better be good!

My rant of the day: bad drivers! When I get into a car and somebody is going to drive me somewhere, I don't ask for their DL or where they learned to drive. I assume the person knows the basics, but there are times I have to break the silent passenger code and interfere for safety reasons. I was riding with a dude today whose driving made me so nervous that I will never get into his car again. Slowing down while crossing an intersection, running a red light when there were other cars coming, chilling at a 4-way stop for too long, parking and blocking cars, the list goes on. I felt like yelling, "Are you blind!" I was very relieved to get to my destination. I don't want to die in a car accident, that's scary.

As time goes by, do we grow up into different people with new personalities or are we born with multiple ones that take turns dominating? Seriously, are there times you find yourself doing or saying something is just not you? You're thinking, the old me would never do this, but it makes perfect sense right now! Although we may all have the classic Jekyll/Hyde aspect, I think we're made up of a more complex blend. Like a cocktail: it can be sweet or sour, icy, fizzy, colorful or clear, strong or watered down, and may have extras (olives, cherries, lime, mint...) that make it memorable.

Labor(less) Day

I didn't go to work today. Didn't have to coz I worked all weekend. So when the alarm clock went off, I just shut it off and rolled over. I enjoy waking up with the sunlight peeking through my burgundy curtain, then sipping hot tea or coffee after a shower. Briefly thought about skipping class in support of immigration rights, then thought, "Who am I kidding? There's an exam on Wednesday!" For my views on immigration, see my April 10th post. Today, a very special person is celebrating a birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY M!

So I get to Chemistry class late (I've got a chronic lateness problem, I'm either late or really early) and sit near the front coz it's closer to the door. I usually sit in the back next to a dude from Cote d'Ivoire. Rule is, when you're in front you have to stay awake and appear very interested. It's a challenge when class is over an hour long and during lunchtime. These days, I have a very short attention span. Don't know why. My chem professor seems very enthusiastic about his subject. But I could never be a teacher, or a public speaker, or a solo performer. I hate being in the spotlight--the center of visual attention. It doesn't mean that I want to be ignored. Instead, I'd like to be one of those legends that you hear about but rarely see. I'd rather be the power behind the curtain masterminding the scenes.

P.S. I'm reading a book called "The Last Don' by Mario Puzo of The Godfather fame. It's gripping, fast-paced and exciting, kinda like me (just kidding!). I passed by a great bookstore today in my old neighborhood and browsed. What I wanna read soon: Obama's "Tales of My Father" and anything by David Sedaris. Also looking to read up on intelluctual property rights.