Hatin' Holidays and the Tax Man

When I first saw this, it cracked me up! This is how I feel about holidays. Let me rephrase that: it's how I feel about the over-commercialization of holidays. Plus, it's not a holiday for me if I'm working so I could care less. Thanks to annoying tv commercials and the advertising industry, we'll never forget when it's time for us to empty our accounts coz our significant others will feel horribly neglected if we don't give them gifts. I do enjoy shopping for gifts for those I love, but I don't like the message from adverts:"You have to go out and buy all this crap right now!" I find those perky, high-pitched (often female) voices annoying. I even hate checking my voice mail coz I hate the voice mail lady's voice:"please enter your password." Is that strange?

I'm tired of memorizing passwords, usernames, code images, and pin numbers. There are the routine things like e-mail and online bills, but these days you have to sign up to read news, or browse some online stores. We have to be careful coz of identity theft, but the next thing you know, they'll be asking for blood type and tissue samples to prove we are ourselves. Maybe the idea of implantable microchips in our forearms isn't that bad; they seem to work for pets.

I would willingly have a chip implanted in my arm if my state tax board would give me my refund check sooner. Somewhere, in a landfill or a garbage dump is a check with my name on it. I waited for it with great anticipation, the same way you wait for a phone call from that 'special somebody' who makes your heart beat faster and puts a big smile on your face. Problem: it never came! Partly my fault coz they still had my old address on file. The people in my old place decided to throw out all the mail that didn't belong to them. So, I go online to check the status of the refund, but I can't get info. I dial the 1-800 number and I'm greeted by that brilliant automated voice system: "para espanol, oprima numero dos." (And they wonder why people don't speak English? )
The lines were constantly busy, it was like trying to get a visa appointment at the US embassy in Nairobi. After multiple calls, I get through, give the various numbers to id myself and state that I never got my check. The dude on the other end sounds bored as he explains what I have to do: sign the form I'll receive in 2 weeks, mail it back, wait for verification from them that I didn't actually cash the check, and finally get the damn thing.
Sounds straight up--but "it could take up to 5 months."
WTF! In this day of fedexing stuff overnight and wiring funds around the world in minutes it can take 2 weeks to mail a stupid form. And months for them to track down the check and mail it to me. It doesn't make sense! I am furious but I gotta do it. Hope nobody else has to go through this. There's no escaping the tax man!