A Portfolio and SELF-focus

Got done with my summer class yesterday, phew! It was only a 1 unit class but it involved so much work. A group presentation plus the papers and assignments due the last day. I also had to put a professional portfolio together with a resume, my career objectives, philosophy, samples of projects I've done, etc. First of all, I felt like I didn't have very much to include. Then I searched through my papers, found my awards & certificates, a couple of papers from past classes and threw them in. So, in the end it wasn't that empty. I've been spending most of my time just doing my job and not getting involved in committees or projects. Now, I've realized I need to get involved in some professional organizations and be part of activities outside my regular job. Thing is, most of us start out very passionate about work. We study great ideas and we can hardly wait to practice them and bring changes--then comes the reality shock of the working world, the politics, the old guard who want to remain in the past.... If you work for a large company you may feel like an insignificant part of it; soon enough you just concentrate on doing your job, getting the hell out, and waiting for the paycheck. (Anybody feel me?) But that gets old. Then you realize that you need to reclaim your inspiration and pursue your goals regardless. No matter what you do or where you go there are times you'll be asking "What the hell am I doing here?" Even though it sounds so cliche, the answers need to come from within.

Even though most of us are socialized to always think of others first, I would like to rebuff that way of thinking to say that we need to think of ourselves first, then extend that courtesy to others around us. Being 'SELFish' has a negative connotation, but perhaps 'SELF-centered/focused' may have a better sound to it. Let me tell you more about it: growing up as a female, many of the things we learn are tied in to future marriage/motherhood. For example, "you should learn to cook ugali well, so you can feed your husband and children." Sometimes, it's tied in to representing your family/community/tribe; for example being told, "you need to study and work hard to bring us respect and honor." I don't argue with the basic idea of these statements, because they make sense. However, I have beef with the idea that the only reason I should cook ugali well is to feed a husband and kids with no mention of myself. Kwani I won't be cooking and eating ugali if I'm not married or a mother? When it comes to studying and working hard, I believe the idea of bringing honor to my family and community is inspiring, but I also need to be getting something out of it. In the end, I think everyone around me would benefit if I am happy, fulfilled, and successful at what I do. I am not in any way advocating for an entirely individualistic view of life instead of a communal one. (We can compare society here and at home.) I am proposing a more realistic way of doing things, coz anytime people do something they'll always ask "What am I getting out of it?" People are more motivated to do things if they know they're going to enjoy the fruits directly. Example, our parliament composed of individuals from multiple tribes/regions/political parties unanimously voted for a healthy pay raise and compensation package for themselves. Hey, they also agree to jet off for holiday. Just think, what if they all got together and agreed on another issue that not only benefited them, but the public and community at large?