Hair Politics

I am seriously thinking about shaving my head and keeping my hair really short. By the way it's natural. It takes so much energy and time to style it that I'm wondering why I bother. I don't want to relax it (been there) or loc it (not ready for the commitment) at this time.

Pros:
1. Less time getting ready in the morning and more sleep.
2. No dealing with the pain of a freshly braided scalp with tight braids, or the extreme heat when getting it straightened.
3. More money to spend on other things. Getting hair done in the States involves a lot of cash.
4. Being mistaken for a lesbian.
5. Proving to myself I can do things my way, regardless of what everyone else does.


Cons:
1. Showing my not-so-smooth head, not a flattering look.
2. Exposing my scalp to the elements, esp. when it gets cold.
3. Getting asked questions about why I cut it.
4. Being mistaken for a lesbian.
5. Not being able to get that sleek, corporate look. ( Why do I even care? I don't work in the corporate world.)

India.Arie's song featuring Akon, "I am not my hair" has a powerful message that many of us identify with. Our natural attributes just aren't good enough for the mainstream because caucasian features are the standard of attractiveness. Images in the media and pop culture prey on our insecurities, or even create doubt where there's none. There's always something we can do to our skin, bodies, and hair.
Disclaimer: I am not one of those individuals that subscribe to the idea that everything should be natural--you know those that don't believe in waxing, tweezing, or shaving the appropriate body areas. On the contrary, I encourage and take part in those services.

When I go to work, depending on what my current hairstyle is, I get a lot of comments and questions about it. (Compliments too!) I guess some of the people haven't seen Afro hair up close and personal. They don't understand the different things we do to it. Some are fascinated--they don't realize maintenance is so much work. I don't mind answering those who are genuinely curious but I get tired of it too. Anyway, I just have to air my frustration with dealing with my hair. I have an appointment with the hairdresser tomorrow so I'll do something. Let's see what happens.

Blog Day 2006

I have to confess that I usually focus on reading blogs in KBW (which inspired me to start my own). But, I've realized that it's a huge world and we learn more about each other by interaction. A blog is a very personal view of people's lives and experiences. I'd like to share a few I discovered.

1. Sayesha's world
This blog is written by an Indian girl living in Singapore. Not only is she an excellent writer, but also entertaining and witty. Topics range from work and friends, to travel and cultural views. I like the personal insight offered. Despite being in a different part of the world, I identify with a lot of the issues discussed.

2. Margaret Cho
This blog is funny. After all, it belongs to a comedian. Margaret Cho is of Korean ancestry, born and raised in the U.S. Many of her posts are enlightening and address political issues directly.

3. A Family in Baghdad
This is an invaluable look at the reality of living in war-torn Iraq as experienced by a family in Baghdad. It's portrays what we may never see or hear on the news.

Moving

Moving is a bitch.
We've all been through it. First, you start out with a long list of requirements. Then go out on the exciting search for apartments. Depending on the budget, area, and rental market, you may have to adjust some requirements. It's really stressful! Do you pay more for convenience and a quicker commute? Or opt for affordability further out? The nice neighborhoods will always cost more. Is it worth it saving $$ to live in a sketchy area (even if it's temporary)? The idea of living in a high-crime area that's regularly featured in the news is not appealing at all. On the other hand, paying a fortune just because a celeb and some millionares live in the area code isn't practical. The hunt is on....

School has started, and I have a crush on one of my teachers! He's young, Latin, and very eloquent. It's a history/ethnic studies class. I got into class late today and it was so full that some of us were standing in the back. I'm not even registered for it, still on the waiting list. Well, I hope to get in 'cause it seems very interesting.

I went back to my first post of the year dated January 2nd and I'm glad to say that I am fulfilling some of my resolutions. Right now I'm focusing on getting a ticket home for Christmas. Haven't been home in years and I've vowed that I need to go this Christmas. So I've gotta make the sacrifices and hope it works out.

A Pint or Two

There's something great about going out for a drink after work. With workmates. Although intoxication often gets a bad rap (with valid reasons-- e.g. damage to your liver), it has the amazing power of bonding people together. You know that straight-laced colleague who barely cracks a smile? Imagine how friendly they get after a couple of pints...Or imagine how relaxed you get after sipping on that ice-cold drink. Letting down inhibitions once in a while can be healthy--now, I'm not talking about walking up nude a day or two later on a strange yacht (somebody's real life experience by the way) sandwiched between 2 hairy dudes, or chics for that matter. I'm talking about saying exactly what's on your mind at the moment and expressing those innermost thoughts that go 'round and 'round your head. It seems like saying some things out loud make them more real. Some of us are constantly in the position of being a middleman/coordinator/diplomat that we may not say exactly what we think or perhaps we do it in a gentle way. Not because we are cowards or lack the balls, but because we see the bigger picture and realize that personal pride or the smugness of stating "I told you so" is short-lived. Sacrificing individual gain for communal benefit or using the teleological approach of focusing on the end result can motivate us in our labors. I know what that means, do you?

Karma

I believe in karma--and it's wonderful to be on the receiving end of something positive. Thank you, cab driver for not only getting me to my destination on time, but also giving me a free ride! (This guy was for real, he didn't have change for the note I was carrying so he said "it's ok." And there were no ulterior motives at all.) I got some of that positive energy to fuel the rest of my day. 'Twas a busy but fulfilling workday. I'm (yawn) going to sleep well tonight :)

Books, Birth, and Murder.

I'm currently engrossed in John Grisham's "The Broker". It's fast-paced and similar to his earlier bestsellers. Before that I read "Plain Jane" by Laurien Gardner, a tale about Jane Seymour and King Henry VIII, that famous English monarch who couldn't stop getting married. He executed 2 of his 6 wives. One of them was 30 years younger than him. Queen Jane was #3 and died a few weeks after giving birth.

Talking of giving birth, have you ever listened to new mothers share all the details of their gruesome ordeal? I understand that it is a life-changing and (usually) positive experience despite the 20 or 30-something hours of labor that new moms routinely endure. Two chics were saying that they're into the natural way, no drugs involved. OK... My view is "drugs are good! There's a reason epidurals were invented, and you can always elect to have a C-section." Anyway, I usually steer clear of this kind of talk coz I feel that I have little to contribute.

There's so much going on in the world from gangsters attacking the Russian diplomat in Kenya, airline security alerts, conflicts in the Congo & Middle East, to the recent spotlight on the JonBenet Ramsey murder case. That Karr dude is weird. The whole affair is suspicious and tragic. Now, seeing a very young child wearing make-up and parading in adult-style clothing is very strange. I think child beauty pageants should be done away with.

Food = Pleasure

There are few genuine pleasures in this world like coming home to a hot meal. Food is more than calories and a pyramid; it's also about the time, skill, and love that went into its preparation. Many of us will instantly think of our mothers when we think of enjoying a delicious, delectable meal. Since I'm so far from home, I often think of my talented sibling whose culinary skills have produced countless fingerlicking, satisfying meals. Thanks D! There are so many cultural beliefs surrounding food and many are rooted in practicality. In most urban areas around the world, there's a wide variety of international cuisine to sample. One of my favorite foods from home is ugali ya wimbi. At my digz, we've been considering becoming vegetarian or even just eating organic food for health reasons. I'm not ready to make drastic changes yet but will try to change some habits.

4 or 5 Things

I got this idea from somebody else; it's great coz I like making lists:

Jobs I have had:
1. Babysitter
2. Bakery & Cafeteria worker
3. Reader/Tutor
4. Front desk receptionist
5. Security dispatcher

Places I have lived:
1. Nairobi
2. Naivasha
3. Athi River
4. Eldoret (outskirts)

Movies I have watched over and over again
1. Sound of Music
2. My Best Friend's Wedding
3. Wizard of Oz
4. Grease

Places I have been on vacation:
1. Mombasa
2. San Diego
3. Houston
4. Reno

Places I'd rather be right now:
1. Home
2. Hawaii
3. Brazil
4. At a spa getting a massage

Items that must remain in the fridge:
1. Eggs
2. Cheese
3. Red wine
4. Water
5. Vegetables

Scary Stressful Experiences I've survived
1. Embassy appointment to get visa for U.S.
2. Being in a car accident and getting stranded hours away from our residence.
3. Jumping over a barbed wire fence while being chased by the neighbors' fierce dog.
4. Taking major national and state exams that determined my future.

My favorite leisure activities:
1. Walking outdoors
2. Playing Uno with my siblings
3. Reading a good book
4. Playing the simplest version of 'Canon in D' on the piano
5. Surfing the net and blogging!

The End

I saw my grade for the summer class that just ended and I'm happy =)

The turmoil and unrest in the world has a ripple effect. On Friday, I witnessed a demonstration by a group of Arabs/Muslim/Palestinians who were protesting against the Israeli attack on Lebanon. The group of men, women, and children marched down a major downtown street, chanting for their cause with police cars and motorcycles escorting them. When you can put a face to the struggle, you realize how harsh and brutal life--and death--are. Most days when I'm heading to work or somewhere else, I tune in to NPR news. It helps me stop brooding over the details of my pathetic life when I realize that on the other side of the world, innocent people are dodging bullets, bombs and fighting for their lives.

I'm not very religious (but rather spiritual) , although I have spent most of my life in religious communities and schools studying religion and theology. The book of Matthew chapter 24 talks about the signs of the end, which include natural disasters, wars, and conflicts. My view is the world should just end already! How many centuries ago was the end predicted? Even the new millenium was supposed to bring some huge dramatic event. I think in 1000 years, they'll still be predicting the end of the world. I don't really care anyway coz I won't be around.

Change

Change
is scary
and exciting
at the same time.

There are times we actively seek it,
when we are desperate to break out of the bubble.

So we leave our cocoons in search of adventure.
Or perhaps, adventure finds us.
Either way, we have to brace ourselves for the new and unexpected.

A Portfolio and SELF-focus

Got done with my summer class yesterday, phew! It was only a 1 unit class but it involved so much work. A group presentation plus the papers and assignments due the last day. I also had to put a professional portfolio together with a resume, my career objectives, philosophy, samples of projects I've done, etc. First of all, I felt like I didn't have very much to include. Then I searched through my papers, found my awards & certificates, a couple of papers from past classes and threw them in. So, in the end it wasn't that empty. I've been spending most of my time just doing my job and not getting involved in committees or projects. Now, I've realized I need to get involved in some professional organizations and be part of activities outside my regular job. Thing is, most of us start out very passionate about work. We study great ideas and we can hardly wait to practice them and bring changes--then comes the reality shock of the working world, the politics, the old guard who want to remain in the past.... If you work for a large company you may feel like an insignificant part of it; soon enough you just concentrate on doing your job, getting the hell out, and waiting for the paycheck. (Anybody feel me?) But that gets old. Then you realize that you need to reclaim your inspiration and pursue your goals regardless. No matter what you do or where you go there are times you'll be asking "What the hell am I doing here?" Even though it sounds so cliche, the answers need to come from within.

Even though most of us are socialized to always think of others first, I would like to rebuff that way of thinking to say that we need to think of ourselves first, then extend that courtesy to others around us. Being 'SELFish' has a negative connotation, but perhaps 'SELF-centered/focused' may have a better sound to it. Let me tell you more about it: growing up as a female, many of the things we learn are tied in to future marriage/motherhood. For example, "you should learn to cook ugali well, so you can feed your husband and children." Sometimes, it's tied in to representing your family/community/tribe; for example being told, "you need to study and work hard to bring us respect and honor." I don't argue with the basic idea of these statements, because they make sense. However, I have beef with the idea that the only reason I should cook ugali well is to feed a husband and kids with no mention of myself. Kwani I won't be cooking and eating ugali if I'm not married or a mother? When it comes to studying and working hard, I believe the idea of bringing honor to my family and community is inspiring, but I also need to be getting something out of it. In the end, I think everyone around me would benefit if I am happy, fulfilled, and successful at what I do. I am not in any way advocating for an entirely individualistic view of life instead of a communal one. (We can compare society here and at home.) I am proposing a more realistic way of doing things, coz anytime people do something they'll always ask "What am I getting out of it?" People are more motivated to do things if they know they're going to enjoy the fruits directly. Example, our parliament composed of individuals from multiple tribes/regions/political parties unanimously voted for a healthy pay raise and compensation package for themselves. Hey, they also agree to jet off for holiday. Just think, what if they all got together and agreed on another issue that not only benefited them, but the public and community at large?

An ipod moment and Flav2

Home at last. Had a fulfilling day at work. Just wolfed down a cheeseburger and sipped a cold MGD, aah...I tend to eat in front of my computer partly coz of entertainment, and partly coz I like sitting in the comfy blue ikea chair in front of it.

Things I find annoying:
1) People who call every one they meet 'baby" in whatever context, whether it's "you're still a baby, so young!" or "baby, let's go out sometime."

2) People who cuss constantly in public for no apparent reason but to act all 'gangsta' (esp. when they're obviously far from it)--Nobody wants to listen to you. I was riding on the bus and way in the back were 2 guys (drunk frat-boy types) just acting stupid, talking loudly, their vocab must have stopped developing in primary school. It was one of those times I wished I was one of those big, intimidating Samoan dudes and I could just turn around and yell "shut the fuck up!" Instead, I searched through my bag for something interesting to read. My phone battery had just died; I dubbed this "an ipod moment," it's that moment when you desperately wish you hadn't left your ipod at home coz it would be a perfect time to turn up the music and tune out what's around you.

3) The fact that the 'reality' show "Flavor of Love" part 2 is back. Seriously, wasn't season 1 enough? Much as I dislike the concept of the show, it is entertaining. Maybe it's a weird human urge to watch other people humiliating themselves in the name of love (love of money or the spotlight?). I think Flav picked the wrong chic last time, New York would have been perfect for him. Now there are fresh attractive recruits, tripping over each other to impress this tired-looking man who parades in pimpish outfits (come on, a red suit with a red shirt) and a huge clock around his neck.

Please hide them!

Last night, I broke a wine glass. Not big news in my digz as I hold the title of 'most likely to break something--anything!' But why did it have to be one of the new glasses I just bought last week? There comes a point in life when you look in your kitchen cupboard and find it wanting...regularly drinking wine out of styrofoam or plastic cups becomes a thing of the past. Even mango juice tastes better when served in a pretty glass. And going on a wine-tasting expedition or having a drink in a fancy restaurant will teach you a thing or two about how to serve wine. So, a trip to Crate and Barrel was the next step. It was my very first. I'm not the kind of person who'll usually notice details about dishes; I'm more about function--but there is a difference about eating a meal out of a plastic or metal bakuli while sipping tea from a glass (come on, who hasn't done this?) and eating off chinaware while sipping a cold drink from a sparkling stemmed glass. Oh well, the sad remains of that glass are now in the trash. The cool thing about being a grown-up is that nobody will yell at you for breaking things. I'm responsible for destroying enough of my parents beautiful dinnerware (wedding gifts perhaps?), but they love me anyway. So if anybody ever invites me for a meal, hide all the nice/expensive glasses and plates from me!