Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Murphy's Law, Taxes and The Way I Am

There's a full moon outside tonight, and that may explain why I had a rough day. Don't even get me started on superstitions coz I do believe in a lot of them! My official outlook on life is pessimistic; but this only concerns my life, I'm optimistic when it comes to other people. Murphy's law was in effect today. Had a slow start this morning due to the weird hazy effect from the sleeping pills I took last night after work. After a shower and a hot mug of coffee, I was ready to face the world. My sis and I ran some errands in the neighborhood then headed to an afternoon appointment with my CPA to get taxes done. I penda this dude coz he got me a healthy return last year; his experience includes a decade working for the IRS. On my way there, I realize that I don't have the folder that has the W2s and a book I was carrying. I'm usually a calm person but I just went into panic mode. I felt like crying and shouting at the same time. Where the hell was the red folder?

We had just been to Safeway to get a sandwich and I remembered placing my folder and book on the counter as I reached into my purse for some money. We had to backtrack instantly--I called the Safeway no. on the receipt--and of course it's one of those annoying automated voice systems--I finally get through to a human being and I describe the folder I misplaced. Thankfully, someone found it and kept it safely. So we go back and collect it. I was very relieved to find everything intact but I was also pissed off coz now I have to rearrange my work schedule so I can get another appointment with the tax guy. I have so many plans for that refund and it may even buy me a ticket home this year. I know I've got to keep things in perspective and look at the bigger picture and all that, BUT sometimes when one thing goes wrong, everything else comes to the surface. Fuck taxes and the whole system in this country! I'm not being entirely rational here, but please humor me. Of course governments have to collect taxes for public services, etc, and it seems reasonable that if you make more, then you should pay more, right? Not necessarily, the extremely wealthy get all kinds of tax breaks and incentives which will increase with time courtesy of Bush and co. Then there are those who are collecting certain benefits that it's not very profitable to put in more than 20 hrs of work per week. Those in the middle really feel the squeeze.

I'm glad I didn't run into anyone with odd questions today coz I would have unleashed some bad vibe. I really get tired of having to explain everything about my life, my country, my accent, and even my hair to random people I run into. Usually, I just grin and bear it coz the conversation may be the only history and geography lesson on Kenya that some people will ever have (note to Pala who says some Kenyans abroad are not representing the country well). The routine usually start when a person tries to pronounce my surname and gets a quizzical look on their face, then asks where I'm from, how I got here, seems surprised that I "speak English so well!" I proceed to confirm that Kenya is not next to Nigeria, English is official, I did grow up there, I didn't have to escape a war, thankfully my family is not starving, it really isn't a huge desert, I am not used to 100 degree heat, I'd starve if I had to run for a living, I choose to keep my hair in a natural afro, I don't know any cannibals, and yes, I've heard all about Jesus--I could teach you a thing or two. Eminem's song "The Way I Am" just expresses my exact feelings when I'm angry; just let me be who I am!

Anyhow, I get back home and decide to cook a healthy meal: ugali, spinach, and some liver. I may not be the world's greatest chef but I can do the basics; after all, I've had years of practice. Both my peroz have the skills. My mother's chapatis are famous in our family. And my Dad (unlike most men in his generation) can confidently enter the kitchen and prepare a mouth-watering meal. Thanks to him, I can cook ugali ya mahindi na ya wimbi equally well. My siblings inherited most of those cooking skills. I wasn't the only girl threatened with the classic lines, "nobody will marry you if you can't cook" or "your husband/in-laws will throw you out if you serve a half-cooked meal." My comeback which I still hold to this day:"maybe I won't get married." Well, one can't deny the power and pleasure of a well-cooked meal (guys take note!); once you move away from home and your on-campus cafeteria you realize it's an essential life skill. (Although I hate the idea of spending my entire life in the kitchen.) Well, I decided to bake a cake too: eggs, butter, cake mix & some water then popped it in the oven. I got caught up cutting the onions and frying the vegez so the cake burned. Then I burned some onions and had to throw them out. Finally it all came together. I sipped on a glass of chilled merlot before we sat down to enjoy the meal. It was a success and I felt better afterwards. Well, I've had worse days for sure but it's rare when I reach the melting point and feel like I have no control. The best laid plans of mice and men....Politics in Kenya remain entertaining, the plot thickens: mercenaries/businessmen, loans, govt. officials, the whole thing is a mess and they all have a responsibility. And is parliament still in recess? I could use a 5 month vacation right about now. My reality: I need to review my notes for a Philosophy mid-term tomorrow and get some sleep:)

7 comments:

Milonare said...

Hey GND

Pole bout the beef lakini be happy you found the folder...

If the returns are healthy and the ticket is bought make sure you make the Nairobi KBW get together. Those manenos are the bomb!

Lakini you always titillate with talk of tantalizing mavegez and ug when some of us are operating boflo (loaf), mayo and biltong on a daily...

Aki I need me some Kenyan grub!!!

I guy here once asked me if we have universities in Kenya and whether they teach in English - Sheez!!

Anonymous said...

Hey gal!Seems you had enuff drama going down!Yes Murpy's law can be a biatch but at least you had the presence of mind to backtrack as opposed to going nuts!As for stato it is the middle class that pay taxes for the rich and those who cant or are unwilling to work, that really sucks!
As for those storos of "where are you from?" - I usually say East Africa, most of these idiots dont even know countries south of Mexico.I stopped tolerating stupid questions, I once dressed down ( very pleasantly) a mama who said that she was going to Kenya to spread the gospel and I asked her why.She said it is coz she saw the Zambian kids choir sing, I told her that Zambia and Kenya are far from each other and that if she can base a decision to travel thousands of kilometers based on seeing a choir then she wasnt very wise plus in Kenya we have our own missionaries and that she should go and preach to the gays in San Francisco.American ignorance and arrogance rankles me!Anyway enjoy cooking for yourself and preparing for your paper, I have one to write too.

walk said...

acolyte lol the gay guys in san fran lol i have always wondered about that too infact i think the us embassy should give kenyans visas to come preach to this guys.
Girl next door i must admit i have never read through all your posts but am doing that . am not suprised though about your comment about not getting married especially after you wrote of a memorable foot rub at the club from a guy who wasnt , i was dying of laughter in the office people thought i had lost it . but there is hope still

Girl next door said...

@ Milonare,
When I finally make it to Nairobi, I'll have to attend a KBW get-together. There's nothing like a well-cooked Kenyan meal! It really hits you when you leave home. I remember days of operating on cereal and peanut butter/jam sandwiches...but when you're hungry, a lot of things taste good. People are amazed that the average Kenyan is either bi or trilingual.

@ Acolyte,
There are days when you think "I should have just stayed home." I'm so grateful that I didn't lose that folder. I'm entertaining the idea of carrying copies of a map and the next time somebody asks "Where?" I'll just give it to them and point "Kenya, Nigeria, Zambia,...do not even border each other. There are so many missionary types who are convinced they have to 'save us from eternal damnation'. I have a lot of strong feelings on this topic so I'll write about it sometime. I also have a few things to say about gay people so I'll save that for another day.

@ Joe,
I agree that Kenyans can come abroad to be missionaries to these people. Stay tuned for a post about gay people. I feel that marriage (esp. as it is defined traditionally) is not for everyone--but maybe I'll change my mind in a decade or two. I'm glad you enjoy reading my posts!

Trybless said...

Lol, how we all lover those tax refunds. Miss the days I was a student and could get all my money back. Now I just depend on the tithe and charity money.

Girl next door said...

Future diplomat,
I feel you on that--I've been told the thing to do is to buy a house ama get kids, but I'm not there yet!

Anonymous said...

@ girl next door
I am waiting for those posts with baited breath!
@ future diplomate
Have you ever thot of getting hold of some dependants?They help big time, just visit you local crackwhore or street walker and ask her if you can claim her kids.