Leaving on a Jet Plane (II)...

home!

I'm superstitious so I didn't wanna talk about it too much for fear of jinxing it (well, other reasons too). I'm finally leaving on my trip and I live in shagz (that's the countryside) so I'm not so sure how my internet access will be. Went on marathan shopping session yesterday and got help packing from my siblings. A dude at the bank was looking at my DL and was wondering if my relaz would recognize me. (Btw, the shilling has greatly appreciated in value.) I do look different now. Leafing through an old yearbook, I can see the differences. I know my ideas and views of the world have changed a lot since I left. I can hardly wait to see my parents.

Happy New Year y'all!

Furious!

Hell hath no fury...like a pissed off woman! Imagine being woken up in the dead of night to take a transatlantic call from a person who declares he has "an urgent message." Along with a drunken dial from an undesired admirer, an insistent telemarketer, or a stalker, this is one of those calls you never want to get. And for the record, this happened to me night before last.

The caller is not my personal acquintance but my parents'. He resides in a Western European country (which shall remain unnamed) that prides itself on being modern and 'civilized'--don't they all? It just so happens that on my way home, there'll be a lengthy layover in the above country, so they offered to host me. I was thinking, why not? Save money on a hotel, kill time, maybe see a sight or two. Perhaps. Like many Western countries that are prime destinations for us citizens of the Third World, this country has stringent visa requirements. I am no stranger to compiling documents with personal information. I've done it countless times over the past 6 years. This time, I didn't get the desired results.

I heard back from the immigration/consulate a*holes who think that me spending less than one day breathing their freezing winter air surrounded by the snowy foggy landscape of their wonderfully modern 'civilized' country and seeing 1 or 2 of their amazing sights is like handing me a key to the pearly gates: impossible. After all, once I get to such a prime destination, why would I want to leave? It doesn't matter that I'm firmly entrenched in my current life and have the documents to prove it.

I am so sick and tired of filling forms, being assigned numbers, and subjecting all my personal affairs to scrutiny under a government microscope: from the hour of my birth, health status specifically what deadly viruses or 'African diseases' could be surging through my bloodstream, financial assets (or lack thereof), and what kind of education I received before I landed on these hallowed shores (gasp! including how I learned to speak English).

So, I let my would-be host know that I would be restricted to the airport while I was in the country politely thanking him for offering to host me. But no...he had to call me in the middle of the night to have me repeat the details of what happened, and to tell me what I needed to do. First of all, I was pissed because there was nothing urgent about this matter. I know what urgencies and emergencies are and use those words with extreme caution. Email is a brilliant form of communication that works! And if you have to make a phone call, can you call at a reasonable hour? Second, I hate being talked to like I'm a 10yr old girl who's never lived away from home. I detest it when someone who doesn't know my specific circumstances tells me what to do. Luckily, I was brought up to respect older people so I exercised a lot of restraint during this conversation and cut it short as quickly as I could. I was cussing when I got off the phone and about to make some calls across the ocean but decided it would be unwise. It was difficult getting back to sleep. I had a major cloud hanging over my trip and I wasn't even sure if I'd take it; until the issue was resolved just today. I'm just going to take every day as it comes.

Electronics and Shiny Things

I don't understand the benefits of switching to beta blogger so I'm sticking to the old one for now.

I am not a techie kind of person although I operate various electronics and mechanical items daily. When I mention that I want to buy something, say a digital cam. or a comp. I get lots of helpful tips from my technically minded friends but some things just go over my head. Brand names I can remember, but when people start quoting lots of numbers and letters, like 300HZ or EP827GB....that's it! Which is why I was feeling overwhelmed at the electronics store last week when I went to buy something for my Dad. Some salespeople are so unhelpful as they hurriedly point out the items. And when people are working on commission, they may recommend extra things you may not need. I don't begrudge anyone their commission; in fact, if I'm going to buy something I'd like the workers to get a portion of the funds. If they can take the time to explain why such an item will be a great addition to my life, I'll be convinced to buy it. Luckily, a buddy of mine works at the store so I tracked her down to break things down for me, and point out the good deals. I was glad with the final choice. While I was there, I spotted some big screen tvs that are just to die for. Although I am a simple person, with (mostly) simple tastes, I would love to own one of those massive screens.

But I'll settle for any kind of diamond jewelry: ring or earrings....isn't that what Christmas is about? Fantasy? Shiny things? Christmas spirit is seriously lacking around here. From the various rants I've read in the blogosphere, I'm in good company!

Snip, snip

I went to the "beauty" shop last week, and guess what I bought?



(I remember owning a comb like this way back.)


&



There's a first time for everything; this was the first haircut I gave myself. The results are not too bad. Of all the things I've done to simplify my life, this will rank among the highest.

On my bookshelf

Superfudge is a classic from my childhood. It never fails to crack me up=)


For anyone who likes books with pictures, try a graphic novel like this. by Marjane Satrapi.


I haven't gotten very far; it's deep one.



This exact book has been on my shelf for months, but I can't seem to get through the last part where Mitya is on trial. Borrowed from a friend, but at this rate he's probably given it up permanently. Thanks R!



Here's a good one from the motherland! by Buchi Emecheta


It's not what you think, but it's guaranteed to blow...your mind that is! Now I've got to see Kiribati for myself. I don't own this one. by J. Maarten Troost

Baby Steps....

Dear T,
You'll probably never read this. I just want to say thank you one more time. Thank you for listening and giving me very practical suggestions (which worked!). I'm glad to know that I have gotten closer to my goal; baby steps that slowly move me forward. It was the one positive spot in an otherwise dreary day. You were the right person to tackle the issue because of your knowledge and approach. I appreciate your non-judgemental attitude. You possess the right skills and you have a heart. I'm sure there are many others out there who feel the same way I do.

:-) GND

Relief

2 down, 1 to go then school is officially over.

The immense relief I feel now that the group paper is done is hard to put into words. It was such a stressful affair right up until the last minute. Tempers flared. Everyone had strong opinions. At least those of us participating. One person was MIA when needed, then in the end offered help as though she was doing us a favor. Calling with excuses which I didn't want to hear then asking what to do. I asked "Have you read the paper?" The silence was the answer. How in the world do you discuss and critique a paper with someone who has no clue about it? I was fuming. "Tell me what to do." I had to restrain myself, kwani does this look like primo where you're told exactly what to do? I found myself being the mediator between different factions of the group (my diplomatic skills must be a middle child thing). This is why I cannot be a parent, I hate repeating the same damn thing over and over again. One dude proposed leaving her name out, but we weren't that cruel. So glad it's done.

There's something major hanging in the air that's making me rethink some plans I made. I'll know for sure in a week. I may end up making some drastic decisions.

Slow Sunday

I got drunk on cough syrup last night. Apparently teenagers have been using this stuff to get high for years. Well, I really needed it. It knocked me out for hours.

When I woke up this afternoon, it took all the energy I had to shower, dress, and trek to my neighborhood coffee shop in hopes of getting a hit of caffeine and working on my policy paper. Apparently, everyone had the same idea. It was packed with people on their laptops. I got a table and immediately got coffee (free-trade). As I poured the organic half 'n half and stirred in the sugar, I wondered why even food is so political. I'm struggling to get more info for a research paper and regretting the topic I picked because it's my professor's area of expertise. So I'd better get all my facts straight. There were too many people in the coffee shop and I couldn't even find a place to plug in my computer so I left as soon as I ate my sandwich. The coffee was really strong.

You know what really irritates me? It's when people say one thing, and do another; flaking with no apology. If you can't do something, then don't say it! If something comes up last minute, let me know. One of my mottos is I don't make promises I can't keep. I have no patience for cheap empty talk. Don't tell me you want to see me, then when I tell you where I'll be, you don't make an effort to meet me. My time is precious. You know how people say "If you ever need anything, just give me a call" or "I'm willing to help with x". Then when you actually call them and tell them exactly what they can do, they don't come through. That gets to me. Which is why I prefer to do a lot of things on my own. I want absolute control (there, I admitted it). If I'm going to be part of anything, I want a say in what goes on. But I'm not a superhero (despite my best efforts) so I need a helping hand.

Maybe I need anger management. I can handle a lot of major things until one thing comes along and pushes me over the edge.

4 Random Things

Random celeb trivia:
George Clooney is People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive. (And his pet pig just died.)

How will this information help me as I struggle to finish my papers, and study for upcoming finals? Ah, you'd be surprised. There's no direct benefit to knowing the information above as I'm not taking a class on pop culture or hollywood, but there are indirect benefits. Do you ever notice how you can't stop smiling when you're around a paramour, when you spot a sexy stranger, or an adorable child? Some people just have that effect. They're a pleasant distraction from the daily hassles and routines. Living with a pig would be distracting too, ama?

Random thought:
When I'm in a public place, say standing in line at the bank, I look at the interesting people around and wonder about some of their lives. And I think about the movies when something dramatic happens. Once in a while I spot someone who looks like they're going to lose it. The other day, the line was going slow and this man near the front banged his hand on one of the pillars in frustration and yelled about having to wait. And where else would you experience either extreme elation or depression if not the bank? In fact, I think it would be a great idea to have an onsite psychologist there. Why not?

Random rant:
What is it with people listening to music on their headphones that is so loud everyone within 6ft or more can hear it? Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of having head/earphones? Plus, forcing everyone to listen to your choice of music can sometimes be cruel.

Random rave:
I like carrying my notebook around and jotting any ideas, thoughts, and feelings I have. I like drinking good coffee. I like to the freedom to just be, think, and express myself and connecting with people who either get me or just accept me as I am.

AIDS

It is World AIDS day, so I feel obligated to share some views on the subject. According to the statistics, I fit the profile of people most likely to be infected just by being from an African country. It's all over the news right now: Sub-Saharan Africa has the highest infection rates. This is one of the most politicized medical conditions ever. Have you ever heard of a World Malaria Day? I haven't. Don't know if it exists. I've had malaria multiple times, and will always remember the worst incident I had in high school. I was away from home so my Aunt T. took very good care of me. I don't know all the official stats, but I do know it's one of the main causes of death in Kenyan children under age 5. I just found a link to Unicef.

Well, back to the main topic. AIDS is very political, at the same time personal. Spicebear has covered the "Prevention is better than cure" angle well, so I won't go into that. Adults are being urged to get tested at their nearest VCT center. It makes perfect sense to know one's status. The whole idea is to find out whether you have it, then modify your behavior. Doesn't always happen that way. I've heard some people work up the courage to get tested, then never go back for results. Others find out the results, but may not modify their behavior in the ideal way, i.e. using protection, letting partners know of their status, and engaging in health-promoting behavior. I've gotten that email forward about some HIV+ person who decided to go on a spree and infect everyone around them as revenge; and when they die, they leave behind a list. I've known adults who fell ill during their prime, and the cause was whispered "AIDS." The surviving family members are often treated as pariahs as though they may pass it by just being in the same room. HIV/AIDS is not contagious! Have you ever gotten tested? Even though you know you don't have it, do you ever think "What if...."

Moving away from the personal into the scientific aspect, it's important to know the FACTS. It's important to ask the necessary questions as researchers study this virus and attempt to find a cure. It's said that one tests positive for HIV, then eventually develops full-blown AIDS and dies. There are researchers that say HIV is a harmless virus. 3 Berkely scientists: Duesberg, Koehnlein, and Rasnick wrote a paper titled "" where they challenge the HIV-AIDS hypothesis. The Chemical Bases of the various AIDS Epidemics. People diagnosed as HIV+ are usually urged to get on antiretroviral drugs (which cost a fortune) but some people refused to do so and still survived. Check out:Alive and Well

These drugs have horrible side effects. The paper above has solid references saying the drug Retrovir/AZT was originially a chemo drug (they are very toxic and suppress your immune system). It was later reintroduced into the market as an anti-HIV-AIDS drug.

Basically, scientists and researchers who question mainstream HIV/AIDS views are sidelined and not able to get their views to the public; they're not able to get most of their research funded either. This is a problem because science is about questioning. AIDS has heavily funded industries and organizations behind it: Pharmaceutical companies, govts, etc.

When it comes to HIV/AIDS in African countries, there's concern that the statistics collected are not accurate. Who is funding these studies anyway? Apparently, the data is collected from pregnant women visiting prenatal clinics. Check out Emily Oster's article.


At the end of the day, it gets personal again 'cause if you or someone you love gets sick, you'll be thinking about death and the dying process. Although you may be millions of miles away literally or figuratively, decisions made by the powers that be will affect you. I'll take a moment to remember those who have died, as well as those who still survive. And also to applaud the families and healthcare workers who give their time, energy and support to AIDS sufferers, as well as the researchers/scientists working to answer the vital questions that will affect everyone.

Breathy issues

A couple days ago, I was sitting next to a man who was reeking of onions. I glanced at sideways and saw a takeout container on his lap. An image flashed into my mind immediately: a chicken dish I had at a Turkish restaurant that should be translated into 'raw onions with chicken.' It tasted pretty good but I couldn't eat all those onions. Now, I do love the flavor of onions. They're such a basic in Kenyan cooking and other dishes from all over the world. What I have a problem with is the breath or scent they leave behind especially when consumed raw.

It's said that drinking coffee will take away onion & garlic breath but that leaves you with another problem: coffee breath. That can be dealt with by sucking on a mint or chewing gum. But anybody who has recurrent bad breath should probably get a dental check-up 'cause that's a sign of gum disease. Not funny at all. Don't know where I heard this, but going to the dentist is one of the most common fears (along with public speaking). Furthermore, basic medical insurance doesn't even cover seeing a dentist, you have to get an additional policy for that. Anyhow, once you get there, the sound of those drills headed toward your mouth is sure to put you on edge, in addition to the pain and sensitivity you may already be feeling. It takes a special team (dentist & hygienist) to make you feel at ease while they perform their skills. Which is why I'm feeling sad that my dentist is retiring. He's such an easygoing man. All the best to him as he goes on to the next stage of life.

Seems like many people are on the move. A close friend/brother figure and his girlfriend are going to Brazil (her home) for a few months. When he told me, I was thinking "I wanna go too!" And I plan to in the next few years. Sometimes, I get this feeling of being left behind. I've lived with people from different parts of the world, so many go back to their homes. I'm already making plans for all the places I want to go at the end of the month, next summer, in a couple of years, and even in 5-6 years. The world is open (visas are a whole other issue).