To hibernate or "help people"

Sometimes when the world is wearing me out, I wish I could just hibernate and wake up to better times. I'm not feeling down tonight, just introspective. I have about 10 different things running through my mind--scattered thoughts. I've been reading some blogs from KBW and I am so impressed with some people's writing style. Kenyans are among the most intelligent people I know! (but do I say...) It is amazing how words can evoke such strong feelings. When I hear or read about other people's experiences, I usually have 2 main reactions:
1) I could never imagine that happening to me or anyone close to me
2) I feel the same way or it hits close to home.

I am a big fan of quotes, and there's one I can't remember well but it goes "the more I care about humanity, the less I care for people" It's in some book I read recently. I'll look it up. People can wear you out and just drain you.Anyway, I strongly dislike the phrase " I want to help people." It is so generic, way overused, and sadly lost its meaning. It's the kind of thing that missionaries and expats say when they've been posted to Kenya or another African country. Never mind that they're getting paid hefty allowances for all their basic needs: housing, food, health, school fees for their kids. In addition to this they're getting travel allowances/air tickets and we're not even talking about the salary yet. My sis and I have had numerous discussions about this. It's also the phrase that society ladies throw around to explain their 'charity' work--which really involves eating fancy lunches in classy hotels to plan a ball or auction that will be attended by equally wealthy high society people. Not to say that some good doesn't come out of this, but what is the point of aspiring to lofty goals when you are ignoring things closer to home? Like people who will quickly write out a cheque to The Heart Foundation, or for Disabled Children and yet remain immune to the suffering that their own workers are undergoing. Maybe your housekeeper or gardener could use some extra cash this month to help an ill family member. Or for themselves. I don't want to ignore those genuine souls who really go out of their way--and I can personally say a big thank you to a few.

Just a side note: I've been reading "The Brothers Karamazov" for ages (rather unusual coz I'll usually be reading 2 or 3 books @ once) and right now I'm stuck where Elder Zosima has this long monologue; I know it's deep but it's boring! I'm generally interested in people's spiritual beliefs/ values and how they get there. I want to finish the book coz most of it is interesting--I was surprised to find some of Ivan's views practical. Some of these Russians are rather talented--the extreme weather must make people think a lot and drink a lot, ha ha (not necessarily in that order). I was very angry and saddened to read about the racism and violence that Kenyans and other black students undergo in that country today, ati people are beaten up in the subway and the cops look the other way? A cuzo of mine is in that part of the world. Will I ever live to see the day when the Kenyan govt will take an active role in ensuring the safety and well being of its citizens? We can dream can't we...y'all stay safe out there!

Epiphanies and the Celeb Mentality

Don't you love the feeling when you get an epiphany? It's like a light bulb in your mind lights up. Or like going to bed on a cold, cloudy, rainy night and waking up to a clear blue sky with the sun smiling down at you and the faintest breeze brushing against your skin: you see the world in a different light. It's the "Aha!" moment. This finally happened to me in Philosophy class. I stumbled into the class a couple of weeks late and didn't have my books then. The discussions taking place were above my head--a new experience for me--I understood some of the concepts but it just seemed like we were going around in circles. An argument or theory was presented and then it was critiqued. I had a big question mark in my mind. Then I finally got my books so I could read the assignments. The main text is just kawa. But I'm glad I got the optional book, "What does it all mean?" by Nagel. Very simple straightforward reading on several topics like Justice, Good & Evil, Death, etc. The Justice chapter really got me thinking. I find philosophy fascinating--it's opened up another dimension of the world to me. It makes you examine your beliefs and things we commonly mention like morality, truth, good & evil, even reality.
Talking of reality, I've made an observation of how certain people act when they go out to public functions and it pisses me off! I recently saw this @ the LA Rugby 7s, and also this past weekend. I refer to this attitude as the "Celeb Mentality." Like when you go to a bash, you obviously run into buddies, acquintances, schoolmates, exes, former crushes...whatever. Anyhow, a person spots you in the room and recognizes you but cannot bring themselves to say hello, wave, or even give a smile of recognition. They just look at you and are waiting for you to go up to them and start the whole routine of "what's up, longtime, you look fabulous/shitty, whatever...." It's like they're a celeb and you--the adoring fan. Folks, it won't kill you to say hello first! We may not be best friends but at least you can act civil. Slow down with the attitude and the huge ego! There are some REAL celebz out there whose claim to fame isn't just being some spoilt rich kid being bankrolled by peroz or being whorish. (Sorry Paris Hilton already took that role.) And guys, everytime the word 'ho' is said, don't assume it only refers to women. True that there's a double standard and your boyz may be so impressed with the no. of honeyz you've bedded lately--but word gets around to the rest us so we know who to stay away from. And for the pathetic losers in da club who just grab at women's bodies when they're dancing and do the bumpin' n' grindin' in a weak attempt to do an Usher move--it doesn't work like that. Even if a girl likes you, you need to give it time. (yawn..) Time for bed now.

Icy Texan roads and the best places

I was in Texas recently visiting my sis and cousin who go to school there. First of all, I am so grateful to make it back safely; I believe that God is watching out for our well-being. (But does it mean that if something bad happens to you that God isn't watching out for you? Does it mean that it's your fault? What if it isn't?) The weather was horrible the weekend I was there: no offense to y'all that live there but I couldn't deal with the huge swings in the daily temp. One day it's in the 70s-80s, then it suddenly drops to 30s-40s. Then again, it is winter so what the hell did I expect? The roads were icy and when we went out on Sato night, we saw at least 10 car accidents if not more. There were cops and firemen on the freeways as well as ambulances. As we were passing, it seemed so unreal...kinda like in the movies when there's some disaster going on and you see all these people who've been hurt. At that point you are praying, "Please God keep us safe." If you've been in an accident before, you start having flashbacks. You start to think, 'what if...?' But then you quickly stop thinking coz you'll get so freaked out. When you finally get to your destination, you sigh with relief. Anyhow, spending time on a college campus took me back into the past. I think when you're an undergrad, it's nice to live on campus so you're close to all your classes. Yes, we all bitch about living in the dorms and eating in the cafeteria. But once you move out on your own you realize how convenient it is. Commuting can be stressful as many of us find out the hard way. Road rage is very real--I switch personalities when I'm behind the wheel (as many of my passengers have witnessed, he he..) It's nice to live where you work or study whenever possible. But it can't always be done so you compromise or maybe you move.
Talking about moving, there's this website www.bestplaces.net so if you live in the U.S. or Canada you can go on it and check out the stats for different cities. You get to pick your preferences (big or small city, crime level, education of the residents, transport, healthcare, arts and cultural activities...) and in the end it shows you your ideal city to live in. I went on it and guess what? In the end the best place for me was the city I already live in! I really love this city and all it has to offer. It's far from perfect, but it's the right place for me now. Every time I come back into town from somewhere else, I get this wonderful feeling; my heart skips a beat. Living in the city is so stimuating; you are surrounded by sights and sounds and there are endless possibilities. I've lived in shagz for most of my life so for all you veteran city dwellers, be patient with me! I'm one of those confused people you would run into on a Nairobi street, clutching my hand bag tightly and scrutinising the signs and people around me with a bewildered expression. I used to live there when I was very young so I remember my primary school, peroz workplace, Kenyatta market, and our estate in South C. Most of the other times I was in Nairobi, I was getting chauffered to specific locations (it's not that glamorous: by school bus, relaz, etc). Of course I've pandad mathreez. Anyhow, I'm hungry right now, I'm about to kula some nyama and vegez so I'm signing off. Then off for some weekend entertainment!

Defining the Kenyan elite

First of all, I would define the elite as a special group that doesn't mingle with the masses. Wealth and power are the main things that define the elite class. In Kenya, these are the high-powered govt. officials and also all the superwealthy families.(How they got their fortunes is a whole other topic). The truly wealthy do not have to work for an income aka old money--I won't be talking much about them.
There's also an academic elite class. These days, going to university and pursuing a post-grad education is becoming more mainstream, but in our parents' time those who went to grad school are part of an elite class. They are defined not just by their academic degrees, but also by other professional credentials and their involvement in academia & research. They send their children to the best schools they can and expose themselves to various cultures, music, arts, foreign languages, travel..etc
I think it's possible to belong to either one or both of the groups above. But there are things that each group is constantly pursuing. For example, the are the wealthy elite (corrupt govt. leaders or business people whatever) who suddenly have a lot of money then realize that they cannot continue hanging out @ Mama opiyo's local nyama choma joint on weekends and their new S-class Mercs stand out whenever they go shopping at the kiosk next door. They realize that people in their economic bracket spend their weekends at the local country club golfing and eating nyama choma roasted by a professional chef. Woe unto those whose jobs require attending social functions frequented by international leaders, expats, and top intellectual minds. They realize that money does NOT buy class--it takes some investment to polish the rough edges and become knowledgeable about arts/music/travel....
On the other hand, most members of the academic elite don't have enormous amounts of disposable cash; they also don't command armies of thugs, oops! I meant 'security detail' ready to do their bidding; when they go on their well-deserved holiday, they don't hop on the private jet or drive a fleet of BMWs. Unlike their counterparts above, they can usually define morality and ethics although they may not apply them to everyday life. For example, they may be involved in legal matters and suddenly realize that nobody cares that they authored a paper nominated for a Pulitzer.
The bottom line is that each group wants something that other group possesses. So they cannot survive without each other.

LA Rugby and old friends

So, I'm packing for a weekend trip to sunny L.A. The Rugby 7s are taking place this weekend and the Kenyan team is there to proudly represent us. Let me confess how little I know about the actual game--I just know when they've scored and of course the whole tackling thing. I don't know much else. Blame it on not attending a school with a rugby team, or spending too much time indoors reading, whatever! But who can resist the sight of young, muscular, toned male bodies running back and forth a grassy field? It takes a lot of strength, speed, and skill. Word is there are kenyan celebz in town who will be performing. Hot shows for sure! But what I'm really looking forward to is seeing some old friends. You know those buddies that knew you way back in the day: y'all did homework together, confided in each other about your crushes, and your worries on relationships, crazy teachers, stressful jobs, religion, hairdos, clothes...etc. And as life goes on, one person moves north, another goes south, while the rest remain. You call each other a lot in the beginning, e-mails of course. Then we all get caught up with work/school and one day you wake up and realize it's been ___yrs since I saw my good friends. We know that as time goes by, changes happen. I know I've changed alot of my views. I know some friends who've undergone major changes (like joining the military). There's always a fear that changes will drive you apart. It's great to have a history together, but we all need to have new memories and experiences together. So that's when you meet and spend time together...One thing for sure, I'll miss my bed. I just love sleeping in my big, comfortable bed and everyone who's slept in it agrees with me. Time for bed!

Dog food, chemistry, and college classes.

There's been this story of a woman from New Zealand donating dog food for starving Kenyan children. What? Is that for real? Apparently it is--what a big insult! And exactly what are our leaders doing about the famine and various disastrous situations facing their constituents? Maybe they've been stashing money away for retirement? Hah, hah, big joke! What retirement? Although it is a known fact that corruption is deeply ingrained in our culture from the highest levels going down, it is somewhat shocking to have firsthand accounts from somebody who was there seeing it all. I applaud the courage it took for this man to speak up. This whole Anglo Leasing scandal has demonstrated the blatant greed and vast amount of money that these people play around with. Of course everyone wants the facts, and people claim they are innocent, but "where there's smoke, there's fire." Enough about politics, it's all depressing...
I had a quiz in Chem class today, I think I did alright. The stuff we're learning is like a review of what I've studied before--it's not like I aced it before but I grasp the basics. It's interesting to observe other students in class. There are always the super-smart over-achiever types that make everyone else feel dumb. There are those in between, doing ok. But I'm still trying to figure out the people who show up to class 15-20 minutes late, then leave early. They barely listen when the teacher is talking, then they keep on asking questions that have already been answered: "What should we study for the quiz?", "which #s do we practice for homework?" Well, just look at the f*cking hand-outs and syllabus! It has been outlined very clearly, and if you bothered to be in class, the teacher went over that info about 10 times! Some people's cell phones are constantly ringing...I didn't come to class to listen to a conversation between Monique and LaShawn--I could give a rat's ass about the nail shop, babies, and random dudes. Forgive me for my lack of patience--it's a good thing I'm not the teacher. I think I've developed new perspective on the importance of studies. You gotta learn and understand stuff for yourself; some people are just looking for shortcuts--copying people's answers without knowing how..Well, someday when you are on the spot you have to figure out the answers without relying on other people. Obviously people have different talents and understand some things more easily. I will confess that I am really out of my element in the Philosophy class I just signed up for. The teacher seems interesting though--cool sense of humor, very sharp, 30something married man wearing his wedding ring. What is it about some married men that makes them attractive (even when they are not exactly good-looking) ? Probably confidence and some unknown factor. Whatever, I don't really care. I'm really sleepy, time for bed. more next time...