Happy Halloween!

"Tonight is the night that goblins howl..." this is a line from some poem we read in primo years ago. Well, I'm obviously not out partying tonight, didn't even get a costume. It's fun seeing all the costumes, especially the kids who really seem to enjoy it. And all the free candy, wow. When I was a kid, sweets and chocolates were the center of the world. Usually we'd buy cheap sweets when we got some money (patco, co's) moving up to klm, eclairs, then mintchoc, fudge, and dairy milk. We'd even stick a spoon in the sugar bowl and eat it when parents were away from home. When some kid stole money, you could always tell. They went to the local shop and bought lots of chocolates and brought them to school. Then everyone wanted to be their friend. These days, I'm seriously cutting back my sugar intake although I indulge in quality chocolate every now and then. I did go to a Halloween bash over the weekend. House parties are one of my favorite places to be. The people who hosted it did a great job decorating their spacious house. Most people wore costumes (I guess the rest of us didn't get the memo). They had a keg and a local rock band performed. They reminded me of Green Day. Totally cool!

Elsewhere in the country, looks like people were inspired by the hood. A frat party at Johns Hopkins is under fire for their themed party. Kwani these guys didn't read the news when UT Austin students had their party? Of course, the customary apologies will be made as PR pros scramble behind the scenes to assemble some politically correct releases to appease the civil rights organizations and their African American students. While these 'hood parties are insulting, I think we need to step back and see them in their true light: the party is merely the symptom for the greater issues that pervade society concerning race and social class. When people apologize, what are they sorry for? Are they sorry for insulting people? Do they even understand why people are pissed off? Are they sorry they got caught and exposed to the world? Will this change their way of thinking or behavior? It's kind of like whenArnold Schwarzenegger apologized for was making a comment about a Latina colleague saying she's hot-tempered because of her 'black blood' and 'latino blood.' Was he embarrassed for making the comment or that the recording was made public?
Just caught a glimpse of Dr. Phil on tv featuring unfaithful couples, and I'll quote a question he asked. "Are you sorry that you did it or sorry that you got caught?"

Visionaries

I attended a great lecture this evening on leadership and visionaries that was very inspiring. It was given by the CEO of a consulting company (our teacher's buddy) and when she described what they do I was thinking "I'd love to work for you!" Well, still have a ways to go before I get there.

One of the more immediate tasks is rewriting a paper on policy. It's a group thing: one dude had written it previously but refused to listen to our feedback and didn't incorporate the research I'd worked on. We were running out of time, so we decided to just hand it in. Big mistake, 'cause now we have to redo it. This dude just doesn't understand why the paper was a disaster and furthermore wants to rewrite it. I handed him the old paper with the teacher's comments so he could see it for himself, and then the new outline I've worked on. There's no way I'm getting a bad grade because somebody with poor writing skills and grammar refuses to listen. The rest of us group members have split up the tasks but he's the only one who's out of line. What bothers me more isn't just the skills (or lack thereof) but the attitude. I will respect people for their work skills and life experience (you've gone through a lot by the time you're twice my age) but when we get to class, we're all students trying to learn.

I've been reading about a visionary: Ella Baker, a cofounder of the Young Negroes' Cooperative League in New York which believed that youth were essential to social change so the members were 35yrs old and younger. If someone older wanted to join, they had to get a majority vote from the current members. I like this idea! In fact, if I were to found a party or organization, I'd adopt the same rule: 35 and younger only. Of course, if you're older than that, but have similar values and goals and the members approve, you can join and be consulted for your expertise. Wouldn't this be brilliant?

(a few minutes later...)

Well, looks like somebody else beat me to it: the Madaraka Party of Kenya just got registered this month. I just found out about them a few minutes ago. Let me read up on them.

Same Old Story

Had a fun weekend. Ate great food in my new 'hood. I'm one of those people who rarely tries something new unless it's recommended by a friend. If I eat out, I'd rather go somewhere familiar where I know exactly what to expect. Call me boring if you like but I prefer predictability and stability. Hmm, why do I sound like one of the Controllers in Brave New World? Anyway, if someone else comes up with a new idea, I'll try it.

I ran into a Kenyan buddy on campus and we chatted over coffee. I like the feeling of knowing somebody when I go somewhere so I don't feel so lost. I even met a Kenyan lady over there on Friday. I spotted her wearing a beautiful kitenge and complimented her on it then introduced myself. Funny how you can usually identify your own people. There are times when people fail to identify where I'm from and I get somewhat offended.

My history/ethnic studies class had a very heated debate today on hate crimes and racism. It's great to discuss these sensitive issues that are often brushed aside in day-to-day interaction although they affect our world. Knowing that other people are dealing with similar challenges validates my feelings and I've realized how some well-meaning white people are ignorant about the issues the rest of us face. Hell, ignorance also exists among the non-white/'minority' group. Let me just say for the record that I strongly dislike the term 'minority' for its minimizing, demeaning connotations. Anyway, there are times people see or hear something happening and think "it has nothing to do with me" but wasn't it MLK Jr. who said "An injustice anywhere is an injustice everywhere"? Although we should not delude ourselves with a Messiah complex of saving the world, we do need to be aware of what goes on and to speak up whenever we can. If you hear somebody say something mean or ignorant, call them out on it. There are times I just ask "What do you have against that group of people?" Some people are in positions to exert a lot of influence, others are just in 'survival' mode trying to hold their own shit together. I think that sometimes the most we can do is to challenge our own beliefs and biases and be aware of how that affects our interaction with others so we aren't guilty of the same crimes as the oppressors. This applies to racism, tribalism, gender-based stereotypes, ethnocentrism, and just about any of those -isms.

On the political front, Obama is the golden child of U.S. politics. With good reasons too. The Kenyan leaders who had the balls to criticize his University of Nairobi speech risked alienating a powerful ally who articulated what the Kenyan people have been saying for years. He refused to smear his dignity from the low blows thrown his way by our disgruntled leadership. Isn't it funny how we are so quick to claim him as one of our own when his star is rising, yet neglect the important facts that are right in front of our eyes? He is an American citizen, lawyer, and politician fathered by a Kenyan man. He speaks the truth in stating we should stop waiting to be rescued by the West because they're only watching out for their own interests. A brief look at history should teach us that lesson. Oh well, new day, same old story.

Mini Mid-week Meltdown

Last week, I was overwhelmed with school/ work commitments. I was thinking about dropping my speech forensics class to I can have more time to devote to my major classes which aren't going as well as they should. It's that feeling you get when you're 1 or 2 steps behind and struggling to catch up. I hate it! Thing is, I had to make the decision fast because I had to take part in an intercollegiate speech tournament over the weekend. At first, I thought the class would be simple (no papers, no tests) but then I freaked out about having to be in a tournament. It is no easy task and involves research and preparation, memorizing, and learning how to give the speech. I can deal with people one-on-one but I hate being the center of attention on stage. I took a basic speech comm. class over 2 years ago so I was out of practice. I don't like to do things unless I know I can do them well and excel. Did I mention that my school's team always wins awards at these events? After a lot of encouragement, I decided to go for it. All the travel arrangements had been made so we set out on Friday. It was fun travelling with the Speech & Debate team in the school van with our teacher driving. It reminded me of field trips in high school.

Fast-forward to the actual event. It's a parallel universe that I never knew about till recently. You know how people who are into beauty pageants, horse racing, or chess are really into it? They devote years of their lives to being good and attend all these events that mean little to the rest of us. There's something similar with the Speech tournament. Some people have been doing it since primo, or high school. The dramatic verses remind me of Kenya Music Festival. If you're in debate, you can wear jeans but we had to dress up for the speeches. (Rant: For chics, it's a pain finding dressy shoes that are comfortable and look good. I went shopping for shoes and you wouldn't believe how hard it is to find a pair of flat, black, dressy, closed-toe & heel shoes. I swear, they make shoes for people who's objective is just to have pretty looking feet. How about the rest of us who walk and need shoes to fit into our active lives?) The unofficial uniform is a black pin-striped suit. Well the good news is I survived it. I was very surprised to get an award in the novice category especially because I didn't even make it to the final rounds. Anyhow, I talked to my advisor today and she's great. I've decided to just hang in there with the classes.

Elephants

I just read this article: An Elephant Crackup? in the NY Times and I'm amazed at the similarities humans and elephants share.

Wretched

2 nights ago, I had a hard time going to sleep. I was physically exhausted but my mind just wouldn't take a break. And of course, I had to be up very early the next day for work. I made it there and got through a hectic day fueled by large amounts of caffeine, sugar, adrenalin, and youthful energy. It was a long, long day....Fast forward to the end, was supposed to meet up with someone to go to a live music show, but they 'forgot' to tell me that they weren't going to make it till an hour and a half before the show. I was too tired to be pissed at that moment, and was actually relieved that I could spend my evening at home. But also irritated with the last minute message. It's slightly better than being stood up at when you've dressed up and left the house, but come on, if you are in city A that's a day's drive from city B (the venue), of course you're not going to make it to the damn show! I want people to value and respect my time.

I am currently reading "The Wretched Of The Earth" by Frantz Fanon (recommended by who else but my history teacher:). I'm still in the first Chapter 'On Violence' and I'm so excited by the reading. Sartre has penned a powerful preface. It is such an exhilarating feeling to see these thoughts, observations, and experiences put into powerful words. I'm wondering why I never read this book before. I strongly recommend it to everybody out there.

To be or Not to be Greek

Yes, it is possible to be surrounded by a crowd yet feel utterly alone. It is also possible to look like you fit in, yet feel completely out of place. What the hell am I talking about? Attending an event last week hosted by the Black Sororities and Fraternities at my school.

It all began one afternoon when someone handed me a flyer that stated there was an event scheduled in a couple of days to inform us about Black Greek life at the university. I absently shoved the flyer into my backpack noting the time 6pm and place. When the day came, I was at the library finishing up a paper. I glanced at my watch and thought why not? I decided to make a conscious effort to step out of my comfort zone. Well, I realized that there's a lot I don't know or understand in African American history and culture so I've decided to learn more and get exposed to it. So, this is how the evening went.

5:45pm--I leave the library and stroll to the student center where the event will take place.
5:50pm--I'm sitting outside the meeting hall, there are a few people standing outside.
6:00pm--More people arrive. It's fun to see the clothes, and hairdos. Like a mini-fashion show with some really hot men and fine chics of course.
6:10pm--It's obviously not starting on time, so I decide to check phone messages.
6:20pm--I call a buddy to chat.
6:30pm--The door to the hall is opened and people start to enter. There's a sign that says the event was scheduled for 6:30.
6:35pm--I enter the hall, most of the people are inside. There's a dj spinning music near the stage.
6:37pm--I sit down at the end of a row, so I can make a quick exit. I observe the crowd: young, vibrant intelligent black college students, cracking jokes with friends and dressed to the nines. I must have missed the memo that said to dress up and carry a cute handbag,
6:40pm--There's a tall girl up front who reminds me of a friend. I'm looking around at the different groups and think "This would be so much fun if my old buddies were here." I'm getting that 'new kid at school' feeling 'cause I am. The last 2 schools I attended (1 in Kenya and 1 here) I already knew a bunch of people and had buddies I'd grown up with and a sibling.
6:50pm--A girl with a strong, voice steps up to the podium and directs us to stand up for the Black National Anthem. Her voice blows me away--powerful. I've never heard the song before.
6:55pm--A line-up of the Greeks are on stage and they give us quick blurbs about their group founders, history, and mottos. Everytime a name is mentioned, the members in the crowd give a special yell or cheer. Some people are dressed up in their official colors. The best outfits are red and black. I could see myself in that...
7:10pm--Question and answer session on how to join (there's a 'process', no hazing), what community activities they're involved in, and parties they host,...etc
7:25pm--I leave the building and the event is going strong. Got to be up early the next day.
8:30pm--Home. Hot meal. Comfort.

Brains

My brain was fried today.
It started out with an exam with 138 questions. All multiple choice. I'm one of those students that dives into the exam and leaves the class as soon as possible. I've learned that my first instinct is usually the right one, and if I don't know the answers, sitting around agonizing over them won't help. Next was history class, which is the most enjoyable (usually). Today, I left class with a headache. You know how there's always 1 or 2 people who always have something to say in class? Well, there's one girl who was dominating the discussion. Irritating voice, repeats the same thing over and over again. Well, what's the point in complaining? I guess the rest of us can speak up if we want to. I'm not a big talker in big classes, but if it's a small group I'm more comfortable sharing my views. The bright spot in the day was seeing the teacher (my crush on him is wearing off...). As soon as class was over I headed home for a good meal, Tylenol, and much needed rest (avg. sleeping time over the weekend was maybe 8-10 hrs? I get very grouchy without quality sleep.)

Tomorrow, there's a paper due in my policy class. It's supposed to focus on policies and advocate a position but all it does is focus on general background information with only one paragraph devoted to policy. First of all, it's a group paper but one dude wrote the bulk of it. The rest of us did some editing and additions but the dude doesn't listen to most of the suggestions. I got tired of people talking about what should be done, so last week I did some research and typed in a lot of good information. But my info is missing from the final paper. This idea of writing group papers was a bad idea. We'd better not get a bad grade. Anyway, we're going to meet early afternoon for a final edit of the paper. I have worked in many groups and teams and realized that every person is just watching out for themselves. You have to deal with egos and most people feel like they're the most brainy. In the next phase of my life, I'm thinking about getting into something where I can do my work solo 'cause it's tiring dealing with people and their idiosyncrancies.