Thursday, April 10, 2008

Endings

Is there such a thing as being overambitious? Usually it's considered a great thing to have lofty goals and expectations....but sometimes a reality check is needed. I have this love-hate relationship with so-called over-achievers (I may have been one in the past) because I admire all they do but yet make some of us look bad=) Most people don't do it on purpose and I hold nothing against them. But there are those arrogant few who seem to enjoy gloating. And truth is, some have a right to. Well, comparing yourself to others doesn't get you far 'cause everyone deals with different circumstances and challenges. People have different resources, skills and talents that propel them to different places. Competition is just fierce with all the things we have to struggle to achieve these days: the education, career, finances,investments, while maintaining relationships,health and spiritual balance. One thing or another is often sacrificed along the way.

I heard about a guy who committed suicide (I didn't know him personally)--I'm told he was young, educated with a great job, great family,...etc. My heart goes out to his family and friends. After any kind of death, but especially suicide, people are left feeling guilty for not preventing it. Yet it's possible to be close to people who don't know what the hell is going on in your life. We might do it to protect those we love. And I don't think getting to the top (careerwise) is ever enough, there's always pressure to maintain your position and keep going. And it's a task to maintain balance in life. It may be morbid, but I think about what my funeral: who would show up, what would be said, the music (I want Pachelbel's Canon in D and Pink's "Who Knew"....I got into "Six Feet Under" and I'm on the 4th season now. There aren't many forums for discussing death openly and tv shows do get us thinking about these issues. A lot of family drama can be avoided if people would share their wishes with loved ones. I'm also a fan of Nollywood films and the dramas on it hit closer to home.

Talking about endings, graduation time is coming up and the big question "What next?" There are always options (if only 2). Time for changes and exploring new places. The current economical recession has made things tight for everyone. Well meaning people can give advice but it doesn't always work. But it's always great to hear different opinions and views. In the end, we've got to ask "What do I want?"

12 comments:

Mwangi said...

You know, to this day I am still amazed by how many smart, hardworking people go to Uni bust their tails for 3years plus and never have a clear idea of what they wanna do once they're out. This has always fascinated me.
IMO we will never ever be truly satiated and satisfied, it is just not the way we are wired. I think we are meant to go between excitement and boredom all through our life. How we take advantage of this ebb and flow of life is what affects the quality of it?
Good luck with graduation. The economy can never hold a good person down.
My $0.02

Girl next door said...

@Mwangi,
The transition between school and the working world is stressful...and maybe people change their minds about what they wanna do.
Thanks for the good luck wish, I need it=)

Anonymous said...

Tell me when you get a forum where people discuss death openly. I'm very intrigued with death. I have my own interests.

Girl next door said...

@Bomseh,
Well, glad I'm not the only one who'd like to have more discussions about death. If I find anything interesting on the subject, I'll let you know.

Wambui said...

Coincidence. Someone I knew committed suicide two weeks ago now- I can't get over it yet because there doesn't seem to be a 'trigger' evident.
About death- I have my funeral planned out, complete with what I don't want (because if you leave it to my overzealous relas...jijazie). I hate Pachelbel in D minor so they better not play that. I want them to play Paul Anka's "My Way"...and segue into Jay-Zs version :) Seriously though, death fascinates me the way heights do: you draw close but the edge is frightening. The thought of struggling for my last breath intrigues me because it's the one experience you'll only get once...the biology/physiology of death fascinates me, along with our modern day attempts at sugar coating it and making it palatable...I find African approaches to death healthy. Especially the way you can mourn, roll on the ground, wail and scream and 'get it out of your system'. But you can bet that won't be happening if the Presbyterians in my family get a hold of my funeral plans...
Sorry to blog here.
Good luck on graduation-I read somewhere something like: 'not all who wonder are lost'. It's my motto, every twist in life has led me here. From a born over-achiever turned dreamer, you'll find what works for you, just be patient, open minded and brave!

Wambui said...

Jeez, it's can't spell day, the quote was "Not all who WANDER are lost"...

Anonymous said...

death. too little discussion of it even at funerals. a transition or an end? who knows? i fear it not though.

egm said...

Congrats on graduation! I love the Canon in D. Especially George Winston's version, Variations. All the best with the "What Next".

Girl next door said...

@Wambui,
no apologies needed! So glad to read your views. Thanks for sharing. I agree that grief should be expressed rather than keeping it all inside. Most families have conflicting views on what's appropriate. If I broached the subject of my funeral with most of my family (except my siblings) they'd probably think I was strange and tell me not to talk about such things. Thanks for that quote!

@Egm,
Thanks! I've got to listen to G. Winston's version now.

Girl next door said...

@ 31337,
There should be more dialog about it but people are probably scared of sharing their feelings and fears. I admire your lack of fear of death.

moskeyto said...

I too have had deep thoughts about death, I remember thinking about it in the Basilica in Nairobi and starting a journey that led me to realize how futile a fear of death is. I slew that dragon early, probably by my early teens. The approach I took was to live life while treating each day as unique. I am a much happier person. Life is worth too much to worry about the end at the cost of the joys and richness of the present. Girl next door, congratulations on your graduation and may you have a stupendously bright future.

Girl next door said...

@Moskeyto,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for the good wishes on my future=)