I like...part 3

1. The Standard article on women who don't want kids. It's refreshing to have our point of view out there.

2. Vitamin Water Formula 50.

3. Post-its. They're a brilliant invention.

4. Reading newspapers from cover to cover, even browsing through sections I don't really care for like sports. One of those die-hard Kenyan habits!

5. The sound of the saxophone. It's very sexy to watch a man play one.

6. Lounging in pajamas on my days off.

7. The fact that summer break is less than a month away and change is in the air.

Get-Away II

Just returned from the mountains. What's the point of Spring Break if you don't have a change from routine? Sometimes, you need a change of scenery. Unlike a previous trip , this one was spontaneous.(I've been accused of not being spontaneous). I took part in activities I haven't done in a long time: hiking and biking. My muscles are still aching from one of the hikes we took: it wasn't that long, approx. 3 miles--but we were going up a steep rocky mountain. I thought I was fit coz walking is part of my daily activity, but this was on another level. There were lot of families there and we'd see some small kids going up with ease--that time you're thinking "how can a kid who's 5 or 6 yrs old handle this and I can't?"

We also biked down a rocky, unpaved mountain road with multiple twists and turns. There were several times I was sure I'd fly over the handlebars. Like lots of people out there, I have a fear of heights. Now and then I have morbid thoughts. I pictured myself being thrown off the rocky cliff and dying--then people would be asking what killed me. The answer amused me: "she was mountain biking." Well, it wasn't that extreme, I just have an active imagination. I have renewed respect for outdoorsy people who hike and bike on a regular basis. The food was tasty and healthy plus we had a campfire with s'mores of course! (S'mores are toasted marshmallows smooshed between chocolate and graham crackers--they're so sweet that 1 or 2 is enough for me.) Most of the travellers were the young international crowd which is fun to hang around. You learn about culture and other ways of life and compare them to your own. I'm impressed with the travelling culture that people from other countries have: of course finances and visas determine freedom of movement. Travel seems to be a rite of passage in parts of the world, so even people who aren't super-wealthy go places. I think it's an excellent idea.


Watching: The Original Kings of Comedy (one of the few dvds I own)

Listening to: Furahiday by Nonini feat. Nameless

Experience

by Emily Dickinson

I stepped from plank to plank
So slow and cautiously;
The stars about my head I felt,
About my feet the sea.

I knew not but the next
Would be my final inch,--
This gave me that precarious gait
Some call experience.

On Writing

WARNING: Long ramble ahead....

This time tomorrow, I'll be done with a major test and the essay I'm supposed to be working on right now. I've been trying not to be such a procrastinator. Got most of the studying done and even started on the paper but it's still incomplete. I aim for quality work but need motivation for dull topics. I prefer to write about stuff I feel passionate about. Which is one of the reasons I blog. However, I stay away from talking about work and my personal life. Not that I have lots of deep dark secrets, but some things are confidential, irrelevant, or just meant to be memories. This gives me space to express myself. I have lots of opinions on all kinds of things and can ramble on and on. I'm not super-talkative off-line. I usually listen and observe more during daily interactions and it's amazing how much people reveal. In the first half of my life, I used to be really shy. Then I went to boarding school where I had to speak up in order to navigate my way around. Became much more outgoing after high school. I envy some people's ability to put themselves out there so confidently.

That's part of the allure of the web, books, and movies: you peer into people's lives and even share their experiences. They can give you a glimpse of a world you will see. On the other hand the writer could be telling your story. I haven't written any books, but if I did, I wonder whether I'd use a pen name or my real name. It would probably depend on the topic. There's an appeal to being anonymous; you won't feel like you're being personally judged. Yet perhaps your identity adds to your work or is directly relevant e.g an autobiography. And there's that thrill of seeing your name in print! I got an article published once and actually got paid for it. Had to make a copy for my scrapbook coz who knew when it would happen again?

But in this world we live in, expressing personal opinions can be a dangerous thing if it threatens mainstream views: journalists and bloggers have been jailed for this. It happened to an Egyptian blogger. Then there was that infamous Standard Raid. Even in the Land of the Free....there's this guy called Josh Wolf who was just released from prison. Why was he even there in the first place? Because he refused to turn in a video tape of protesters to the police and to testify before a grand jury. The debate on rights goes on.

Some of my heroes are writers.

"Going Under"

by Evanescence

Now I will tell you what I've done for you -
50 thousand tears I've cried.
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you -
And you still won't hear me.
(going under)
Don't want your hand this time - I'll save myself.
Maybe I'll wake up for once (wake up for once)
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom

I'm dying again

I'm going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I'm falling forever (falling forever)
I've got to break through
I'm going under

Blurring and stirring - the truth and the lies.
(So I don't know what's real) So I don't know what's real and what's not (and what's not)
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore

I'm dying again

I'm going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I'm falling forever (falling forever)
I've got to break through

I'm...

So go on and scream
Scream at me I'm so far away (so far away)
I won't be broken again (again)
I've got to breathe - I can't keep going under

I'm dying again

I'm going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I'm falling forever (falling forever)
I've got to break through

I'm going under (going under)
I'm going under (drowning in you)
I'm going under

Lyrics courtesy of www.azlyrics.com

Untitled

Just found out I passed a test I took about a month ago. It's a great relief coz now I don't have to take an extra class. You know that feeling of waiting for news? Like when you've just taken a major standardized test that will affect your future or you've just bared your innermost thoughts and feelings to somebody and you're not sure how they'll take it.... I hate not knowing because I tend to overanalyze things. Sometimes, I just block out everything to lessen my anxiety. Right now I'm studying for the GRE. I hear they'll be changing the format by September--the advice is to take it before the new version is out. Anybody out there with any tips on studying or taking it?

This month is practically over, and here's a quick look back at some highlights:
1) I saw Barack Obama! He's been criscrossing the country and visited my city. The crowds were enormous. I wished I was as tall as a basketball player coz there were so many people there. Spent most of the time trying to find a spot with a view of the podium. One thing I avoid is being right in the middle of a big crowd. If the crowd starts to stampede, the worst thing it to get trapped inside. Anyway, I'm positively starstruck and thoroughly impressed. I didn't hear the whole speech, but Obama is very articulate and good-looking.

2)Yeah, I'm a Pisces so I did have a birthday. I honestly didn't care about it or feel a need to celebrate anything: I know I should be grateful for a lot of things but I just wasn't feeling it. I got my wish: a very private celebration with champagne. My dear sibling made it special. I am glad to be older, although I don't look it. Yes, I'm used to the constant carding. But getting hit on by teenage boys who think I'm their agemate can be a bit much. A lot of these kids look and try to act older than their age but the talk gives them away. Anyway, they're usually polite so no harm done. Perhaps I should be a specimen for studying youth, maybe it's in my genes or is it my lifestyle?

3)I've stuck to my decision to eliminate meat and chicken from my diet for the past 6 weeks. Don't know if it will be permanent. I'm a lacto-ovo vegetarian who eats fish and seafood. It's not an attempt to be pretentious=) I'm not fanatical about food but I'm health conscious. Growing up, we always ate lots of vegez and fruits at home. And drank bitter herbal concotions. And made our own juice with fruits from the garden (no sugar added). Felt sorry for some visitors who came to our house, got served a big glass of juice and had no choice but to be polite and gulp it down. Very few asked for a second glass! This was an inside joke between my siblings and I. Used to hate it myself, but now I actually choose to consume certain things that used to be forced on us. A weird thing happened when I got back from home. I ate chicken and some delicious tender lamb. Then I ate chicken again and it just didn't taste as good and then, "roho ilikataa." So, just decided to be vege (I've done it temporarily in the past but not by choice). Fish has Omega 4s so I'll keep it. Been eating lots of tofu and drinking green tea. I had a strange breakfast the other day: green tea and ice cream. Cutting back on sugar would be healthy but everyone has to indulge in something, ama?

Currently reading: Black Skin White Masks by Frantz Fanon and Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

Sleep, The Undead, and The Dead

What's the longest you've gone without sleep? The Guinness world record holder is Randy Gardner who stayed awake for 11 days without any stimulants. It's unbelievable, no coffee? no drugs? for over a week? Amazing what the human body can survive. I value my sleep so when I don't get enough I have to make it up. On my days off one of my ideal activities is sleeping. For at least 8 hrs +. When I have to stay awake too long I start to feel like a zombie. And can't think straight.

Talking of zombies, I'm watching SouthPark all the way from season 1. Just saw the episode on "Pink-eye" when it's Halloween and there's the pink-eye epidemic---everyone who catches it goes around biting and attacking people (sounds like rabies) and Chef says they're the undead so they go to the morgue to find out the answers. I'm mildly curious about the 'undead'. I read "Dracula" a while back but haven't watched the movie. Don't care to either.

Last week we had a guest speaker in one of my classes who's a retired General from the Marines. He was one of the top guys during the Gulf War of 1990/91 and successfully led his division in defeating the Iraqi army and taking control of Kuwait. He was talking about casualties and said that before they set out, he was issed 8,000 body bags for his division of 20,000 marines (I don't recall the exact numbers). He talked about a lot of other things including the current war/occupation but the body bags issue just stayed on my mind. Bloody, brutal images were flashing through my mind and I felt a great sense of tragedy. To think of the soldiers who know they could be returning home in those body bags is a sad, empty feeling. What's going on in their minds? And while death is so final, surviving can be a harrowing experience according to the revelations from Walter Reed and personal accounts. The Buddhist teaching sums everything by stating: "Life is suffering."

What Women Want

A week or two ago, I was chatting with a random guy (30-40something yrs old)and I figured that he'd had a couple of drinks sometime that evening. He was rather talkative. He went off on a tangent about marriage then posed the question, "Isn't that what all women want? To get married?" Wow, since when did I become an expert on what all women want? I can't even figure out what I want half the time....what would make me qualified to answer on behalf of others? I took the diplomatic route and told the guy that there are some women who are eager to get married, but others who aren't. "But why not?" he persisted.
"They may have other priorities or goals they want to accomplish first" I answered. Or they haven't met anyone they want to marry, I thought to myself.
He didn't seem to believe me. "A guy like me, I'm rich and I would make a good husband." He was better looking than average and well dressed. But there's so much more that can't be revealed in one glance.
I was on my way home and didn't want to get drawn into an endless discussion so I took the easy route and complimented him, "I'm sure you will make some girl very happy" then I walked away.
So, what do women want? This question has been asked over and over again. (The Mel Gibson movie is kinda funny. I have issues with him about his latest movie on the Mayans, but that's a different topic.) I am a little curious about women out there would say to complete the following phrase:

A man must_________________________.

One of my buddies said that a man must have a car. I don't hold the same view. I say a man must have intelligence and a sense of humor and use each one appropriately.

This post isn't totally about marriage. It's also about the assumptions people make about what others think or want. These may be true or perhaps not at all. For example, if you've been on a long trip or walking outside in the heat and you arrive at somebody's house, it would be safe for them to assume that you are hungry and thirsty and offer some refreshments. However, when it comes to our thoughts, belief systems, wants, and desires, it gets tricky. People don't always reveal their deepest desires or thoughts to others. If you ask someone, "what's on your mind?" They may actually tell you what they're thinking about. However, if they think that it's too personal, or you can't handle it, they will give you a bullshit answer. There times I've asked that question. People can be surprisingly honest about what they're thinking. At times, I answer the question very candidly and can tell when a person becomes uncomfortable because they didn't actually expect me to be so straight up. Where am I going with this? Nowhere, just sharing what's on my mind right now.

Evolution

I haven't posted a new entry in almost 10 days. Some days, I can't put thoughts together coherently. Or I write stuff I don't want anybody to read. Did I lose my mojo? Hope not! It's not because I haven't had any thoughts or views to air. Or that I'm that that boring. (What an insulting description.) In fact some people seem to think I'm rather entertaining. (Eyes roll...) How else would you interpret the statement, "I'm so bored so I decided to call you"? What am I, a TV channel? I know, it may have been meant as a compliment but it can be mildly irritating to say the least. I lead a rather ordinary existence. Been working night shifts while having classes during the day so my body is just off.

Thankfully, I have a relatively drama-free life. But you know how we all love to hear storoz about other people's drama...for example, The Acolyte's popular drama posts have kept many of us on edge, impatiently waiting for the next one. I recently heard about a situation involving a chic fresh from Kenya, a young man she met at church, and her distant relative by marriage. I'm not at liberty to discuss details coz I don't know the whole story, plus I wouldn't feel comfortable discussing the issues online no matter how distant our relationship. Anyway,many of us know of incidents like these (although circumstances vary). With modern communication, beef that happens next door is being discussed by relaz at home the next day. Phone calls are made, emails are sent, and battle lines are drawn. I want to avoid taking sides, especially if I hear only one side of the story. Parents and older relaz will often jump to one's defense by stating, "But she's such a good girl! She would always cook and help out in the house...." So what? Newfound freedom can ignite new fires and allow people to express suppressed thoughts and desires. Leaving the sheltered cocoon of home often causes people to harden and take risks they wouldn't have imagined.It doesn't automatically make one 'bad'. Change is inevitable, be it drastic or subtle. That's life. Evolution.

Dognapped! and HPV

Some pure-bred Yorkshire terriers were dognapped at gunpoint from their home in L.A. Now, all except one have been returned. What is this world coming to? The puppies are really adorable.

There's a debate on whether the HPV vaccine should be compulsory for girls in 6th grade onwards. First of all, I hate that issues concerning women's reproductive health are always politicized. I don't hear any debates about Viagra. This should be a personal choice. I believe in the benefits of the vaccine although the idea of making it compulsory isn't appealing. A lot of conservative parents are opposed to the idea and they have a right to be. But should a parent's conservative beliefs be enforced if they're detrimental to the child? For example, Jehovah's witnesses refuse blood transfusions. What happens when a child is in dire need of one but the peroz refuse based on their religious beliefs? Technically, it can't be done without their consent unless perhaps in an emergency (even that is a gray area). Anyway, the debate is on.

On Misery

I give up.
On learning how to swim.
And other things.


I'm reading an anthology for a humanities class and the statement below stuck in my mind:
"You're both in the throes of misery, so you're blind to each other's misery"
--by Michio Hisauchi in Japan's Junglest Day

Glimpses of home

I always talk about the beauty of Kenya, and specifically the rolling countryside where I spent most of my life. So, here's some proof that it's not a desert! I didn't take these pictures, so I have to give credit to the brilliant and skilled photographer J. who I had the honor of meeting while I was home.



Waking up to this beautiful sight is practically a daily occurrence. The opposite of the miserable weather I have to deal with right now.




The road home...which was supposed to be tarmacked about 10+ years ago. It's probably a good thing it remained this way. I was once riding in the back of a pick-up truck along this road and almost fell off! It can be a bumpy ride.




Now, here's a great reason to go for a nature walk!

I am a Pig! This is my year.

So much has been happening around the world. And even though some of the news is "old" I'm gonna share my 2 cents.

Barrack Obama is making history. No matter what the outcome is. Wish I got a chance to see him in person, but don't have the budget for the exclusive events. The question whether he is "black" enough is so dumb that it doesn't even warrant an answer. Ati some black leaders were offended that he made his candidacy announcement on the same day as the State of the Black Union (never heard of this day till recently). Anyhow, Hillary has compe! If I could vote, it's clear where my vote would go.

Rats are found in a Taco Bell. I'm so glad I haven't eaten there in years! Ati,we used to hear about this place when we were in Kenya from people who'd spent their summers in the States. I used to think it was all that till I saw it for myself. It's on my list of "places to eat when I'm starving in the middle of nowhere." Even then, I'm sure there'd be a McDonald's around the corner.

The Chinese New Year was about 10 days ago. It is the year of the Pig/Boar. We didn't eat pork growing up because of religious taboo and tradition (I'd sneakily eat bacon on occasion). So, imagine our reaction on visiting a Chinese friend's house for a celebratory meal and being presented with a cooked pig in the middle of the table. I ate some to be polite. Plus I was curious. It was kinda tasty. I was given some lucky money in an envelope (leisee) by someone last year so I keep that as souvenir. I'm taking a class about Chinese culture and I've been struck by the similarities we have.

It just happens that I was born in the year of the pig some 20+ years ago. I'm reading about the qualities us piggies possess and I've got to admit some ring true, like I know a lot of people but few I'd call friends. Words like 'chivalrous', 'gallant', and 'loyal' make me think of a knight. Maybe I was one in my past life...

"People born in the Year of the Pig are chivalrous and gallant. Whatever they do, they do with all their strength. For Boar Year people, there is no left or right and there is no retreat. They have tremendous fortitude and great honesty. They don't make many friends but they make them for life, and anyone having a Boar Year friend is fortunate for they are extremely loyal. They don't talk much but have a great thirst for knowledge. They study a great deal and are generally well informed. Boar people are quick tempered, yet they hate arguments and quarreling. They are kind to their loved ones. No matter how bad problems seem to be, Boar people try to work them out, honestly if sometimes impulsively."

---adapted from the Chinese Cultural Center


Any fellow pigs out there?

Gifts and 5 Things

I am a weird person.
I don't like getting gifts unless they're from blood relatives or very close friends. Why? Because, then I feel like I owe the person something. I hate that feeling. And there are always strings attached. Very few people have the heart to give you something just for the sake of it. Especially if it's a guy. Am I too cynical? Or did I get converted to the individualistic, self-sufficient American way of thinking? The polite thing to say when somebody gives you a gift or a compliment is "Thank you." But what if you don't feel comfortable with the gift or don't believe the compliment? Is it rude to say so? But then, I'd have to launch into lengthy explanations which may not even make sense to anyone. Feelings and beliefs aren't always logical, but they can still be valid.

5 things that irritate/piss me off:
1. Hanging out with somebody who's constantly yapping on their cellphone endlessly on non-urgent calls.
2. Being put on hold for a long time while being forced to listen to bad music or commercials. And automated voice systems.
3. When a person states "That job is so easy!" yet they've never had any experience or in-depth knowledge of that line of work.
4. Married people or parents who think that life is so simple for those of us who aren't. While I realize there are heavy responsibilities when you're attached to another human for life, it's not like the rest of us don't have responsibilities. In addition to this, parents who take over the entire sidewalk with strollers in a busy area. Can't they go to the park or something? Just get out of my way.
5. Bad coffee.

P.S. There's Kenyatta Day and Moi Day. Will there be Kibaki day? Just wondering....

It's Over

The most hilarious Valentine's post this year is by Ichiena. Check it out! And
Modoathii had some wicked advice on avoiding the whole Valo drama.

Even though I didn't care to celebrate the day, I got a few messages wishin' me happy val's. The award for the earliest message goes to a dude in Nairobi who asked me to be his valentine a month ago. It was kinda sweet. Dude, how did you know I have a thing for guys in uniform? Thanks for giving me directions when I was lost. Doubt if we'll meet again.
Now,the one person I wanted to hear from yesterday didn't contact me. Not that I was expecting anything apart from a call or even a text saying "how r u." Even though the last time we were together, I was in a bad mood. Because of a situation that I was trying to handle earlier that day. When I say have things on my mind, it's usually quite serious. I have to make some decisions that will affect not only me but others around me. And there are issues going on that I can't control. I won't go into details. I don't like confrontations but I see one coming up. I'm not perfect and don't like criticizing but I have to express my views and feelings.

Jekyll/Hyde and Who's the Daddy?

What's with the shooting rampage lately? I mean non-gang, non-hunting related shooting. A business meeting in Philadelphia turns deadly. Even malls are gonna start having some serious security after the incident in Salt Lake City. “He was a such a good boy. I don’t know what happened” is what a relative said about the gunman. Don't we people always say that? So basically, all these good people just snap one day and nobody has a clue why they're frustrated enough to kill? I wonder if they plan it calmly or just act in the heat of the moment? Perhaps we all have a Mr. Hyde in us although the world only sees the wonderful Dr. Jekyll.

News stations tend to pick high profile stories and focus on them exclusively. I am so over the circus surrounding Anna Nicole's death. I barely watch tv but every time I pass by one, yet another dude has crawled out of the woodwork claiming to be the father of her kid. They should do that DNA test in a rush and conclude the affair. But the bigger question is about the huge fortune. I just want to know what happens in the end.

San Diego & Anti-Valentine's

Didn't make it to San Diego for the 7's this year. Just waiting to hear all about it from buddies who went. I first visited the city a number of summers ago and was so impressed. Stayed in the Gaslamp quarter, went to Balboa Park and Coronado island. Also crossed the border to Tijuana for a day trip; ate delicious food and drank lots of margaritas. Walking down the streets, some people would smile excitedly and yell out "Moesha", it took a while to figure it out though. I guess Brandy was the most popular black female in Tijuana at the time. It was amusing coz nobody looked like her. I'd rank San Diego as one of the best places to live in the U.S. out of the cities I've visited.

This weekend was somewhat productive: worked, finished an essay, and went to an Anti-Valentine's Day party. Of course there were couples:)The buddies who hosted it always have the greatest themed parties and they have a cool crowd of friends so you're sure to mingle with interesting people. In fact, I met a girl who lives 2 blocks away from me. What sucks about Valentines is that if you're a single female and everyone around you is getting flowers and chocolates delivered then you'll be wishing someone would send you some. (Come on admit it!) And if you're part of a couple (esp. a new one), the expectations may not be clear especially for dudes. If the guy doesn't do anything, he'll risk pissing of the chic coz it's seems that he's not acknowledging the relationship. But then again if he's a romantic and goes all out, maybe the chic doesn't even care for the whole flowers-chocolates-dinner routine. Seems like a sexist day, coz what gifts do the guys get?

I'm so into the song "Nibebe" by Nyota Ndogo featuring Nonini. Nyota Ndogo has such a beautiful, melodic voice. I read her life story (can't remember the link) about her family struggles and her journey to stardom. She deserves all the success coming her way.

By the way, there's a really catchy Kenyan song that goes "Najua unaipenda unaitaka pia..." Does anybody know who did it?

Directions

We all need directions at one point or another. It's great to have signs and symbols to guide us. But it seems like even the most obvious things come with directions. Like a drink that says "twist cap open and drink." But in this extremely litigious society, everything has to be disclosed and stated, even though it seems obvious. That's why the average person has to sign like 100 kinds of contracts and releases for everything. Not reading and understanding the fine print can totally mess you up as some of us learned the hard way. Or, if you don't ask certain questions,you just won't know. Information is a valuable commodity.

Decisions

Decisions.
We've all have to make them. I'm torn between some right now. I tend to overanalyze some things and then put off making a choice because I'm thinking of how it will affect future plans. However,I have to act soon and think about here and now as well as the future.

Superbowl Sunday

This won't be a replay of the game coz I didn't watch it but heard the Indianapolis Colts won. I just needed a catchy title:) I rarely watch tv, but I'm into Nigerian movies.

So I got through 2 swimming lessons last week. It's fun so far! Even though the water is cold ( thought the pool would be heated), you feel really great afterwards. I can hardly wait for warm weather.

School has started off quite well. Maybe I'm a nerd, but I really like school! Last sem was tougher coz of making the transition back to the academic world, but now I'm more comfortable and can find my way around. Plus, I'm taking some fun classes (in addition to swimming). One is a humanities class where we read lots of interesting books (including Things Fall Apart and The Brideprice). If I could get college credit for all the books I've read, maybe I could graduate sooner! The professor for this class is also quite a character. The class was packed on the first day (good sign) and when he was talking about his expectations, he'd say "I don't give a shit about..." He's very laid back and well-travelled, including to several countries on "the continent of Africa." I like that he's very knowledgable about non-Western cultures. It irritates me to hear people say "I went to Africa" as though it's one town. Please be specific, it's a huge continent, with so much variation and I've only seen a small portion of it.

On the other hand, there are also people in Kenya who don't seem to realize that the U.S. is a huge country! Some states are bigger than our country. Some people at home were asking me about their kids 'n relaz as though we're all neighbors. I rarely even see some neighbors and buddies are scattered in different places. If there's a major event, like the upcoming Rugby 7's, that's when most of us meet. When I went to apply for an ID, the dude there was asking me if I knew his nephew in Wisconsin (or Wyoming). I've never been to either one of those places. Furthermore, we all come from the same populous tribe with huge extended families. I barely know some of my own relaz so what's the probability of me knowing some random dude in Wisconsin?

It doesn't hurt to ask though, coz improbable things do happen. Like running into an old schoolmate you haven't seen in almost 10yrs on the streets of Nairobi. Yup, it happened to me. It was one of the few days that I was there, exploring the small section of the city that I know just coz it's close to my Uncle's office. I was so happy to reconnect with her. It's an amazing feeling to be somewhere where you have a history. It's a great feeling to belong and not have to constantly explain yourself. Home was different because most of my friends had left the country about the same time I did. And didn't stay in touch with others. So I know very few people around my age there. I was also on holiday after most people visiting had already left. It's too bad that I missed the KBW meetup. When you interact with people online, you start to guess what they're like in person. I read Half'n'half's post about why she missed the meetup and I can see where she's coming from. Although, unlike her, I think that my chances of already knowing anybody in KBW are slim to none. I'd enjoy meeting a number of KBWers in person. I'm a little shy with groups so I do better one-on-one. It's a funny thing, but sometimes it's easier to be more honest and real with strangers coz they don't have a preconceived idea of who you are and have nothing to gain or lose from your actions. If you do something that people who know you don't expect, they can get shocked. Does that mean that they didn't know you that well to begin with? Or they just don't know this side of you?