I ain't sayin' she a gold-digger

After reading Aco's post, I had more than just a comment. So here goes:

I've got to air my views. My definition of a date is spending time together. This covers activities outside the usual dinner and movie routine. The financially challenged should pick activities that don't involve a lot of $$ (hikes, walks, sports). You get real creative when you don't have money to burn on Italian dinners and opera tickets. Some activities are geared towards students but anyone can do them: example, study dates, meet at a bookstore, eat lunch together in the cafeteria, ride bikes, give or get a massage. Whoever initiates the date should usually pay most of the bill--of course the other person should offer to leave a tip or buy drinks. Chics have gotten used to being provided for (living @ home or dating older men), and old habits die hard! Blame it on the Cinderella fairy tale for the crazy idea of a Prince Charming coming to rescue us from ruin. As I said before, that's what happens when you bring up kiddos on fairy tales alone. Give them those hadithis of Kaka Sungura and Abu Nuwasi. Warning to men: women want stability in general but if they love you, they'll work with what you've got.

MEN should be more honest about their life situations: when trying to impress women they flaunt fancy job titles and degrees, the Wall St. company they work for, etc. Many women mistake all these things to mean MONEY! Some prestigious jobs that require education don't pay much. While some blue collar types are raking it in. In the beginning, if one states, "I'm a student making min. wage and getting an allowance from home every 3 months," you can eliminate potential mates from gold-diggers. I know a guy who is the firstborn and supporting his Mom and younger siblings. It's very admirable and any woman who dates and marries the guy needs to know this situation. It will explain his lifestyle. Other men fall back on family achievements to show how wealthy they are, talking about what their father does and property he owns. But don't focus on it too much! Kwani am I going to date you or your father? Some guys overanalyze the numbers: get over the fact that a movie ticket cost $10. It's tacky to talk about your salary endlessly, or ask too many questions about mine.

I've been surprised by some of my peers, young intelligent and attractive guys who have this idea that "My wife will not work, I will provide for her." Sweetie, you may not afford it! If you can't afford that diamond ring (major symbol), you are not ready to commit to that life. And what if the wife makes more and you need the money. A dual income will give you more purchasing power and stability. Many of us have ambitions too. And we may never get married.

The fascination some chics have with white men is sometimes senseless. At home, they're over-glamorized and always perceived as rich. But we can turn it around: what is the fascination Kenyan (and other black) men have with white chics? I went to a couple of schools: high school and early yrs of college with a group of my peers--all the guys (except one) dated white, latin, & asian chics. It was so obvious and the message us black girls got is that these guys didn't find us attractive. That's a blow to our self-esteem, but we dealt. So, we have a school event: people are trying to get dates so a couple of us black girls decide to go with a latin and philipino guy. All of a sudden, the Kenyan guys are doing a double take. Strange how we suddenly became more visible. I'm all for interracial/cultural/tribal dating--many of us do it coz it's a free world with many possibilities. It's natural to crave something new, BUT you gotta have taste! There was a very fine Kiuk guy in high school and half the school had a crush on him. We all waited in suspense to see who he'd pick: no surprise there. We just wonder is it a status thing or true feelings? Junguz are like everyone else, there are fly ones, wack ones, dumb ones and smart ones. Coming abroad, I see a fine Kenyan or Tzian young man with one of those obese jungu mamaz and I'm thinking come on! Of course, tunajua kuna hizo situations, lakini you have a lot of choices. At the end of the day, you lie in your own bed and who am I to stand in your way?

Where I've been

During the past 1 week+, I have:
1)Been in a morgue. It's cold in there. All I could see were body bags on cold metal slabs. There's been talk in the news about the Terry Schiavo case. It brought up a lot of issues about the "right to die." People are split left and right about who gets to make the decisions: parents or spouse? pull the plug or pray for a miracle? This argument, like Roe v. Wade, will never be fully resolved. Most of us think about what will happen next. I officially don't believe in hell: I don't believe in the Judeo-Christian (Islam?) hell where sinners will burn for eternity. I don't believe that the soul of a dead person floats around, giving words of wisdom. I believe there are times we hear a person's voice in our head telling us something. We all want to believe that we'll get another chance, so reincarnation is appealing. I don't know if I believe in that. Just imagine that it does happen; so that creepy Science teacher who would hit on girls half his age could come back as a fly or a cockroach--swat! smash! out!

2) Seen a traditional Chinese medicine doctor. I passed by one of those random screenings and decided to stop by--I believe in the holistic approach to wellness and use of Eastern and kienyeji Kenyan herbs. Some of us grew up being forced to eat vegetables and drink various concotions made from various leaves and herbs in our yard--but the stuff works! I admire the quality of being "calm" and most people from that part of the world possess it. I want to learn new methods for stress relief. She was great--encouraged me to try acupuncture. One of my buddies tried it for allergies and she swears it worked. One of these days...

3) Attended a designer trunk show. My first. No big Italian names. A few local designers. Very original work. I saw handbags, jewelry, hats.shirts, handwarmers, underwear--I did a double take on these, they looked comfortable (no thongs!). Maybe someone should make a suggestion to Home Science teachers about changing sewing projects to items that we could actually wear (underwear!) without worrying whether it matches anything else. I fancied myself a designer the first 11 years of my life--making doll's clothes was quite a task! My last year of high school, I stated that my dream was "to become a fashion designer..." Yeah, right. I'm not even close--priorities have changed. I lack the originality and creativity to do it but I still find it fascinating. There was a live performance from a violinist, veggiez & dip, bread & cheese, and Sangria! I enjoyed a cool glass. One of my ex-roomies makes the best Sangria. My only purchase: chocolate truffles.

4) Won a Monopoly match! I am such a nerd--I enjoy playing board games (can't play chess yet). I know it's just a game, but I get very competetive. I had the satisfaction of beating a know-it-all guy from Wisconsin. It was a fun evening: games, pizza, beer, and an interesting mix of people.

5) Hang out with a lesbian couple. Who are planning to get married. Soon. No church ceremony for obvious reasons. Within minutes of meeting them, my gaydar was sending signals about the Latina girl. I wasn't too sure about her friend, an attractive tatooed brunette with a pony-tail and bangs, wearing librarian glasses and punk-rock attire. Unlikely combo that looked hot. The Latina girl was talking about how guys would hit on her girlfriend and she'd be like "She's with me, as in she's my girlfriend. It's definitely a point of pride for them, but I think it must get tiring to continuously defend the relationship. It can also happen with straight couples when you just can't put some people together and you're thinking, "what? they're together?"

6) Been in the same room as 2 full-grown male chinchillas. FYI, they're rodents. They have beautiful soft grey fur and beady eyes, but they're rodents! Apparently one was trying to get with the other one...they're supposed to be monogamous. According to Wikipedia, "This peculiar rodent is also studied by linguists due to its aural range of perception. It is considered the closest to that of a human's." Fascinating fact. I like animals in general, but I will not willingly live with any kind of rodent!


7) Met a couple of WWII veterans. It's amazing to meet people that have lived history and been a part of it. It's scary to imagine living when Hitler was a real threat. Time magazine featured his face with a big X over it in 1945. One of my grandfather's fought with the British in Northern Africa during this war. He would show us pictures and tell us about it when we were kids. Courageous blood flows through my veins. I give respect to those who've survived to tell the story.

8) Skipped class more than once. I used to be the model student. But things like sleep, work, and, yes, laziness, happen. I will stop being judgemental about those students who don't show up to class, or leave early (gotta get to work). You'd never know by looking at some people what their situation is. I still get pissed when people ask, "ya got any kids?" Hell no. There's a young-lookin' white girl @ school who has a 3yr-old kid and she's always hassled, gets late dropping her off, trying to arrange pick-up times, calling her peroz, the baby-daddy is in jail,...so much drama. You never know...I'd better get some sleep if I don't want to miss my morning class. But hey, shit happens!

I like...part 2

1. "Have a Nice Day" by Bon Jovi . I love their music! This band is flaming hot and sexy despite their age--who even cares about their age?

2.Korean soap operas. "First Love of a Royal Prince" had me hooked a few months ago. It's set in Seoul and Tahiti. The theme is a love triangle: but it has so many twists in the plot that grip your attention. And the leading men are so fine! Especially Kim Nam Jin. I swear there's a guy @ work who looks a lot like him. I can't help staring when I run into him.


Seoul is now on my list of places to go. There's another soap set in Singapore called "Beautiful Trio." I don't like the Wikipedia definition coz it's summed up as the adventures of 3-man hating bitches. It's about their adventures with men and relationships, as well as work and family. They're all in pursuit of great relationships (not quite Sex and the City). There's one chic who just got out of a rocky relationship and has a fab job but her mother is pressuring her to get married.(It's never enough!) So she gets this guy to pretend he's her boyfriend.It's hilarious!

3. French chocolate truffles.Close your eyes,open your mouth and imagine a chocolate truffle on your tongue...Now, close your mouth and feel the sweet, rich thick brown chocolate melting on your tongue. The mix of cocoa, butter and flavor is just right. I'm gonna have one right now!

4. Comedy. From Redykyulass (what's going on with them lately?), all kinds of stand-up comics (Chapelle, Carlos Mencia, Kings & Queens of Comedy, Eddy Murphy's Raw, and other not-so-famous ones),to SNL and Mad tv (the actor who clowns Dubya is funny!)...comedy central is my channel--guaranteed to put a smile on my face anyday!

Brokeback...part 1

Yeah, I know this movie came out ages ago, but I feel the need to air my views on the issue. I will go on record as follows:

I watched Brokeback Mtn and it's a brilliant, moving film--everyone should see it! Even those who are uncomfortable with homosexuality have to admit that the film's portrayal of 2 attractive married men who express their heart's true desire while juggling their families strikes a chord in any human who has ever loved someone deeply, and then lost them because of family situations, society norms, and other circumstances. (Damn! what a long sentence.) Humans are programmed to have sexual feelings and we express them in different ways.

The debate of "Nature vs Nurture" will go on forever as we all try to figure out "how" it happens. A lot of other people are still in denial about the whole issue thinking it only happens to strange people in a far away country, city, or state. But when something happens closer home--you are forced to change your perspective. Just think for a moment, what if that gay man walking down the street was your best friend or your brother? Or maybe that lesbian co-worker people make fun of was a cousin, or maybe it was you? Many people would say, "Oh hell, no, I know all my friends and cousins, and I sure as hell know what I like!" Perhaps. We all tend to put groups of people together in a box and give them specific labels. When you meet someone who doesn't conform to the label, it's scary to admit that you may be wrong. If you are wrong about this one thing, maybe you have to re-examine your entire belief system. I say that we all need to examine our belief systems and figure out why we believe what we do. And many of us say, "That's how I was brought up." This reason alone doesn't cut it once you survive your angst-ridden youth. It's one thing for a bright-eyed 17-yr old girl to make that statement when she explains why she goes to church every weekend; but it's just pathetic for a 33-yr old man to say it when he explains why he won't stay up to party coz bedtime is 10pm. Now, I'm not attacking choices, but I'm asking everyone to see what's behind them. Maybe it's just me who isn't satisfied with answers like "that's the way it is." I yearn to discover the 'real' story behind the statement. I want to know how one gets there. I'm just going through that stage in life when I'm examining a lot of my beliefs.

A former classmates would share some intimate stories about her marriage (that was falling apart...but that's not the point). She told us that a few years into the marriage, her husband would only get off on freaky things so she'd wear a strap-on when they had sex. We can picture this from many different angles, I'm sure...Lesson for the day: straight people get freaky too!

Our Actions and Anti-War Protests

People need to start taking responsibility for their actions! Isn't it funny how we are all so quick to point out problems that other people cause without taking the blame for what we do? Of course, this depends on the situation. But I think the principle applies to a wide range of situations: from government leaders and CEOs who remix numbers during financial audits knowing they've just screwed their workers out of a pension, the person taking the order at my favorite Indian restaurant, a lazy ex-roomie who would drink my mango juice and eat another roomie's food, that classmate that copies all your homework answers without asking why and how--then fails the exam, an ex who stands you up and doesn't call right away because they 'misplaced your number,' a miserly former landlady aka S. the bitch who was too cheap to get professional workmen to fix a sink and ceiling leaks on property worth over $0.5 million until she was given an ultimatum, vengeful relatives that promise to take care of somebody's child only to make them suffer and ration their money although it's needed for school fees and personal items, ...and yes, you and me.

It takes real strength of character to admit that you've screwed up, and it happens to the best of us. It could be harmless, but there are times when it will make all the difference in the world.

This past Saturday (18th), multiple protests on the War on Terror/WMDs took place and I got to work a little late coz of traffic. Many streets were shut down, obviously some violence and arrests. Civil disobedience in action! The Police dept, fire dept, and CHP were all working together--they have a tough job. Although they share the same views, a lot of city residents trying to get places were pissed off at the methods the crowd used coz of the inconveniences. I remember being part of a protest march a few years ago in a smaller city. After seeing a movie one weekend (Deliver Us from Eva), we got out and ran into a crowd with huge placards. We talked to somebody and they asked if we wanted to join and our reply was "Sure!" Got to try everything once =) We each got a candle and joined the procession down the street. It ended on a plaza where people made speeches. It was interesting to see the mix of people: hippies with long hair and tie-dyed shirts, mothers with kids, older pot-bellied men, the young tatooed punk-rock crew, some Waspy types, students, and curious people leaving the mall. Shortly a rock band hit the stage with an angry sounding song; all I remember is that it dissed Dick Cheney. It was a peaceful march--but the cops were close by. I don't remember who said that "in a war, there are no winners or losers...everybody suffers." How true and, ultimately, tragic.

I like...

KBW bloggers get a mention in the Tuesday's Daily Nation. Props to all of you! It's great to know that people are making an impact. My last post was rather lengthy, but it felt good to get it all out. Today was a better day; the philosophy exam wasn't that bad, but I should wait to see my grade before I talk.

Now, here are a few things I like:
-> Waking up to the smell of freshly-brewed coffee and some yummy baked goods. (I baked another cake last night after the first one burned.)
-> A full-body massage. I used to think it was just a ploy to get women to waste time in a spa but it makes you feel great! I highly recommend it to everyone. Haven't had one in a while.
->Pedicures.
->All kinds of books. My dream home has a huge library!
->My big comfortable bed.
->Taking a walk on a sunny day, feeling a light breeze against my skin.
->Comfortable shoes. I don't do the stiletto thing--I lack balance!


Things I detest:
->Automated voice mail systems with 20 numbers to push before you speak to a live human being. I've heard that if you cuss then you'll get connected to a person faster, don't know if that's true.
->Long, boring voice mail on my cellphone (unless it's from immeadiate family members and close friends). I prefer texts and e-mails. I've been guilty of leaving long messages but they're rarely boring.
->Boring forwards that have made rounds on the web, e.g. Bill Gates is sharing his fortune, type your name if you believe in God, share with 10 friends for good luck. Especially from people I haven't seen in years, if you're too lazy to construct 2 simple sentences to ask how I'm doing or update me on any interesting things you've done lately then I don't want to hear from you. And the junk mail for penis enlargement or herbal solutions for an erection--I'm not interested!
->Infomercials with miscellaneous products you never heard about. They are so boring! How deep can a mixer, a thermos, set of knives, or vacuum cleaner be? And who actually watches these things in the middle of the night?--maybe people who stay up late like me? Hmm...maybe they're supposed to put you to sleep!

Murphy's Law, Taxes and The Way I Am

There's a full moon outside tonight, and that may explain why I had a rough day. Don't even get me started on superstitions coz I do believe in a lot of them! My official outlook on life is pessimistic; but this only concerns my life, I'm optimistic when it comes to other people. Murphy's law was in effect today. Had a slow start this morning due to the weird hazy effect from the sleeping pills I took last night after work. After a shower and a hot mug of coffee, I was ready to face the world. My sis and I ran some errands in the neighborhood then headed to an afternoon appointment with my CPA to get taxes done. I penda this dude coz he got me a healthy return last year; his experience includes a decade working for the IRS. On my way there, I realize that I don't have the folder that has the W2s and a book I was carrying. I'm usually a calm person but I just went into panic mode. I felt like crying and shouting at the same time. Where the hell was the red folder?

We had just been to Safeway to get a sandwich and I remembered placing my folder and book on the counter as I reached into my purse for some money. We had to backtrack instantly--I called the Safeway no. on the receipt--and of course it's one of those annoying automated voice systems--I finally get through to a human being and I describe the folder I misplaced. Thankfully, someone found it and kept it safely. So we go back and collect it. I was very relieved to find everything intact but I was also pissed off coz now I have to rearrange my work schedule so I can get another appointment with the tax guy. I have so many plans for that refund and it may even buy me a ticket home this year. I know I've got to keep things in perspective and look at the bigger picture and all that, BUT sometimes when one thing goes wrong, everything else comes to the surface. Fuck taxes and the whole system in this country! I'm not being entirely rational here, but please humor me. Of course governments have to collect taxes for public services, etc, and it seems reasonable that if you make more, then you should pay more, right? Not necessarily, the extremely wealthy get all kinds of tax breaks and incentives which will increase with time courtesy of Bush and co. Then there are those who are collecting certain benefits that it's not very profitable to put in more than 20 hrs of work per week. Those in the middle really feel the squeeze.

I'm glad I didn't run into anyone with odd questions today coz I would have unleashed some bad vibe. I really get tired of having to explain everything about my life, my country, my accent, and even my hair to random people I run into. Usually, I just grin and bear it coz the conversation may be the only history and geography lesson on Kenya that some people will ever have (note to Pala who says some Kenyans abroad are not representing the country well). The routine usually start when a person tries to pronounce my surname and gets a quizzical look on their face, then asks where I'm from, how I got here, seems surprised that I "speak English so well!" I proceed to confirm that Kenya is not next to Nigeria, English is official, I did grow up there, I didn't have to escape a war, thankfully my family is not starving, it really isn't a huge desert, I am not used to 100 degree heat, I'd starve if I had to run for a living, I choose to keep my hair in a natural afro, I don't know any cannibals, and yes, I've heard all about Jesus--I could teach you a thing or two. Eminem's song "The Way I Am" just expresses my exact feelings when I'm angry; just let me be who I am!

Anyhow, I get back home and decide to cook a healthy meal: ugali, spinach, and some liver. I may not be the world's greatest chef but I can do the basics; after all, I've had years of practice. Both my peroz have the skills. My mother's chapatis are famous in our family. And my Dad (unlike most men in his generation) can confidently enter the kitchen and prepare a mouth-watering meal. Thanks to him, I can cook ugali ya mahindi na ya wimbi equally well. My siblings inherited most of those cooking skills. I wasn't the only girl threatened with the classic lines, "nobody will marry you if you can't cook" or "your husband/in-laws will throw you out if you serve a half-cooked meal." My comeback which I still hold to this day:"maybe I won't get married." Well, one can't deny the power and pleasure of a well-cooked meal (guys take note!); once you move away from home and your on-campus cafeteria you realize it's an essential life skill. (Although I hate the idea of spending my entire life in the kitchen.) Well, I decided to bake a cake too: eggs, butter, cake mix & some water then popped it in the oven. I got caught up cutting the onions and frying the vegez so the cake burned. Then I burned some onions and had to throw them out. Finally it all came together. I sipped on a glass of chilled merlot before we sat down to enjoy the meal. It was a success and I felt better afterwards. Well, I've had worse days for sure but it's rare when I reach the melting point and feel like I have no control. The best laid plans of mice and men....Politics in Kenya remain entertaining, the plot thickens: mercenaries/businessmen, loans, govt. officials, the whole thing is a mess and they all have a responsibility. And is parliament still in recess? I could use a 5 month vacation right about now. My reality: I need to review my notes for a Philosophy mid-term tomorrow and get some sleep:)

TGIF! ipod nano, & the London School of Economics.

At last! I can finally put my feet up. Had an exhausting day at work, very intense.It's over now so I won't get into it. You know the feeling when you get home at the end of your day, when you leave the cold windy world outside and enter your warm, comfortable abode and sigh, at last...I had a hot shower, changed into pj's, and immeadiately reached for a cold MGD (the best!) and a hot plate of food. Now, highlights from my week:

a) I have an ipod nano! I've wanted one for a long time and thanks to my darling sis for giving me this gift. I never realized its appeal but now I'm hooked; I take it everywhere. One of my fave tunes to relax to is Pachelbel's Canon in D. The violins make me think of butterflies and fairies prancing around an enchanted forest...
b) Got e-mails from some old friends I haven't been in touch with--when you have a great connection with certain people that the mention of their names, or hearing just a few words from them lights up your day and you can't stop smiling=)

Enough has been said about the shameless debacle of Kenyan politics and it's clear that the agenda many leaders had when they were campaigning for votes drastically shifted once they were sworn into office. I am so proud of the numerous Kenyans who had the courage to speak up and demonstrate and call out these tyrannical leaders. And what's this we hear about mercenaries from Eastern Europe? Damn, we even have to export hit men! And I thought there were plenty of homegrown ones. Despite the fact that Kenya is a developing country and freqently features on polls to do with: i)extreme poverty ii) starvation iii) HIV/AIDS iv)corruption v)lack of clean water and other equally depressing things, I strongly believe and know there is a lot of wealth and resources present. It's all about the distribution (I don't need a degree from the London School of Economics to know that). I am not the first person to come up with the idea but why can't those who have millions to throw around spend the money locally so the wealth can trickle down to their fellow citizens? Why outsource when you can do it locally? There's some talk in the news about getting rid of some expats and replacing them with qualified locals...we'll see how that goes. It's sad that many very intelligent visionary professionals are not recognized until they leave and make a name somewhere else where their talents are put to use.

And while many of us look to these intelligent visionary professionals for inspiration, sometimes we esteem them so highly that we forget to put them in their place.Y'all know those people whose attitude is so in your face: "Everybody, stop the world now! I'm very important coz my job is____. I worked on this project/presentation/research study." But just try to coordinate something simple with them and they will turn it into a triathlon for you: you will jump through hoops and go distances in an effort to touch base with them--a very exhausting affair. Those folks who will quickly unleash their business cards for you at some random bash when you're just trying to make idle conversation; going into endless details as you stifle a yawn and glance around the room in an effort to find anybody to rescue you. My reaction? Thanks, but I'm not looking for a business partner or consultant and I don't want to buy whatever crap you're selling so I could care less. But one day, you realize that you want to buy that product and call the person up and they're too damn lazy to drive <15 min to deliver just coz you're not buying an entire shipment. Oh please! We are new customers who could be bankrolling you for the next few years. Talk about bad business skills.(I sure as hell don't need a degree from the London School of Economics to know that!)

My plan for the weekend is to spend quality time with my fab siblings, watch Tsotsi, and get lots of sleep (and study too).

Press Freedom: Letter to Kibaki

Dear President Kibaki,

On March 2, 2006 armed police raided the headquarters and printing plant of the East African Standard Group. In addition to destroying equipment including the printing presses and burning newspapers, they shut down the Kenyan Television Network television station.

This latest attack follows the jailing of three journalists from the East African Standard newspaper, attacks on the Citizen Weekly, and ongoing harassment of journalists by government-sponsored forces.

I urge you to:

- Condemn these attacks in the strongest terms possible.
- Dismiss any member of your government who played a role in the attacks.
- Live up to your promise to support freedom of the press.

Please copy and paste a copy of this letter on your blog. You may alter the wording to suit your needs. Campaign started by Keguro.

Fuck the Paparazzi!

I'm so pissed off because I have just discovered some pictures of me and my friends posted online. We are fully clothed and (mostly) sober but that's not the point. The point is the people (ex-schoolmates and now former 'friends') who took the pictures did NOT inform us that they would post on them on their website. I will no longer use the term friend to refer to either one of this people again because that is something a REAL friend would never do. Technology has made our lives better but at the same time complicated it a million times. These days every other person is carrying a digital camera and it's a great thing--but please do not take a picture of me if:
a) you don't know me
b) you don't warn me or ask my permission. These are liberties I grant only to those who share the same blood/ DNA or have known me for years.

And even worse, don't post it on your tired website! I just have to vent about these former 'friends': one chick is going out with a sweet-talking jamaa; now this jamaa was seriously hitting on a mutual friend--when the chick was informed she refused to believe it and therefore sacrificed a friendship that had lasted for years. It was very clear to all of us that her relationship was her only priority and friends were secondary so we gave them space. I'm very loyal to my buddies so if somebody doesn't treat them right, then I'll stay away from them. Anyway, time goes by. I never see these people so I don't care what they're doing. Then one day, we all meet at a public function and, being the mature people that we are, say hello and catch up kidogo. Actually, we couldn't avoid them--they came to us with lots of sike. Then someone unleashes a camera and yells 'smile!' 'lean closer.' The flashes go off....somebody introduces their boyfriend saying that they're into organizing events, have a website, blah, blah, blah. Frankly, I've heard this a million times--I'm not putting down the people who do this kinda thing (coz it does take talent and organization) but it seems like 50%-80% of the Kenyan population abroad is doing it. Don't quote me on the figures. In any major metropolitan area across the U.S. there are at least 2 or more Entertainment groups. DJ is a title many aspire to but few demonstrate the skill--it takes more than just playing your fave dance tunes from your iPod/CD collection. Anyway, you know how sometimes you dislike people and stay away from them for so long that you even forget why? Then one day, you give them a chance but they do something shitty right away and then you know "this is why I cannot get along with this person." That's how I feel about the people who posted my pic.

I am a very private person (painfully shy through high school and then became more outgoing) and I'm selective about the people I allow into my inner circle--we all learn through experience. My image is important to me (I'm sure y'all agree)--I confess that I google myself every now and then to see what shows up. I really wouldn't mind having a fabulous pic of myself online if I liked the way I looked in it, and no pics with beer please (some of us grew up in conservative christian homes); don't want to shock the folks @ home. For real, if you spend time around dumb people, who are unambitious and don't care about anything--it will start to rub off on you. So I'm gonna stay away from people with too much drama; I just want a simple life. Stay away from me you paparazzi!

To hibernate or "help people"

Sometimes when the world is wearing me out, I wish I could just hibernate and wake up to better times. I'm not feeling down tonight, just introspective. I have about 10 different things running through my mind--scattered thoughts. I've been reading some blogs from KBW and I am so impressed with some people's writing style. Kenyans are among the most intelligent people I know! (but do I say...) It is amazing how words can evoke such strong feelings. When I hear or read about other people's experiences, I usually have 2 main reactions:
1) I could never imagine that happening to me or anyone close to me
2) I feel the same way or it hits close to home.

I am a big fan of quotes, and there's one I can't remember well but it goes "the more I care about humanity, the less I care for people" It's in some book I read recently. I'll look it up. People can wear you out and just drain you.Anyway, I strongly dislike the phrase " I want to help people." It is so generic, way overused, and sadly lost its meaning. It's the kind of thing that missionaries and expats say when they've been posted to Kenya or another African country. Never mind that they're getting paid hefty allowances for all their basic needs: housing, food, health, school fees for their kids. In addition to this they're getting travel allowances/air tickets and we're not even talking about the salary yet. My sis and I have had numerous discussions about this. It's also the phrase that society ladies throw around to explain their 'charity' work--which really involves eating fancy lunches in classy hotels to plan a ball or auction that will be attended by equally wealthy high society people. Not to say that some good doesn't come out of this, but what is the point of aspiring to lofty goals when you are ignoring things closer to home? Like people who will quickly write out a cheque to The Heart Foundation, or for Disabled Children and yet remain immune to the suffering that their own workers are undergoing. Maybe your housekeeper or gardener could use some extra cash this month to help an ill family member. Or for themselves. I don't want to ignore those genuine souls who really go out of their way--and I can personally say a big thank you to a few.

Just a side note: I've been reading "The Brothers Karamazov" for ages (rather unusual coz I'll usually be reading 2 or 3 books @ once) and right now I'm stuck where Elder Zosima has this long monologue; I know it's deep but it's boring! I'm generally interested in people's spiritual beliefs/ values and how they get there. I want to finish the book coz most of it is interesting--I was surprised to find some of Ivan's views practical. Some of these Russians are rather talented--the extreme weather must make people think a lot and drink a lot, ha ha (not necessarily in that order). I was very angry and saddened to read about the racism and violence that Kenyans and other black students undergo in that country today, ati people are beaten up in the subway and the cops look the other way? A cuzo of mine is in that part of the world. Will I ever live to see the day when the Kenyan govt will take an active role in ensuring the safety and well being of its citizens? We can dream can't we...y'all stay safe out there!

Epiphanies and the Celeb Mentality

Don't you love the feeling when you get an epiphany? It's like a light bulb in your mind lights up. Or like going to bed on a cold, cloudy, rainy night and waking up to a clear blue sky with the sun smiling down at you and the faintest breeze brushing against your skin: you see the world in a different light. It's the "Aha!" moment. This finally happened to me in Philosophy class. I stumbled into the class a couple of weeks late and didn't have my books then. The discussions taking place were above my head--a new experience for me--I understood some of the concepts but it just seemed like we were going around in circles. An argument or theory was presented and then it was critiqued. I had a big question mark in my mind. Then I finally got my books so I could read the assignments. The main text is just kawa. But I'm glad I got the optional book, "What does it all mean?" by Nagel. Very simple straightforward reading on several topics like Justice, Good & Evil, Death, etc. The Justice chapter really got me thinking. I find philosophy fascinating--it's opened up another dimension of the world to me. It makes you examine your beliefs and things we commonly mention like morality, truth, good & evil, even reality.
Talking of reality, I've made an observation of how certain people act when they go out to public functions and it pisses me off! I recently saw this @ the LA Rugby 7s, and also this past weekend. I refer to this attitude as the "Celeb Mentality." Like when you go to a bash, you obviously run into buddies, acquintances, schoolmates, exes, former crushes...whatever. Anyhow, a person spots you in the room and recognizes you but cannot bring themselves to say hello, wave, or even give a smile of recognition. They just look at you and are waiting for you to go up to them and start the whole routine of "what's up, longtime, you look fabulous/shitty, whatever...." It's like they're a celeb and you--the adoring fan. Folks, it won't kill you to say hello first! We may not be best friends but at least you can act civil. Slow down with the attitude and the huge ego! There are some REAL celebz out there whose claim to fame isn't just being some spoilt rich kid being bankrolled by peroz or being whorish. (Sorry Paris Hilton already took that role.) And guys, everytime the word 'ho' is said, don't assume it only refers to women. True that there's a double standard and your boyz may be so impressed with the no. of honeyz you've bedded lately--but word gets around to the rest us so we know who to stay away from. And for the pathetic losers in da club who just grab at women's bodies when they're dancing and do the bumpin' n' grindin' in a weak attempt to do an Usher move--it doesn't work like that. Even if a girl likes you, you need to give it time. (yawn..) Time for bed now.

Icy Texan roads and the best places

I was in Texas recently visiting my sis and cousin who go to school there. First of all, I am so grateful to make it back safely; I believe that God is watching out for our well-being. (But does it mean that if something bad happens to you that God isn't watching out for you? Does it mean that it's your fault? What if it isn't?) The weather was horrible the weekend I was there: no offense to y'all that live there but I couldn't deal with the huge swings in the daily temp. One day it's in the 70s-80s, then it suddenly drops to 30s-40s. Then again, it is winter so what the hell did I expect? The roads were icy and when we went out on Sato night, we saw at least 10 car accidents if not more. There were cops and firemen on the freeways as well as ambulances. As we were passing, it seemed so unreal...kinda like in the movies when there's some disaster going on and you see all these people who've been hurt. At that point you are praying, "Please God keep us safe." If you've been in an accident before, you start having flashbacks. You start to think, 'what if...?' But then you quickly stop thinking coz you'll get so freaked out. When you finally get to your destination, you sigh with relief. Anyhow, spending time on a college campus took me back into the past. I think when you're an undergrad, it's nice to live on campus so you're close to all your classes. Yes, we all bitch about living in the dorms and eating in the cafeteria. But once you move out on your own you realize how convenient it is. Commuting can be stressful as many of us find out the hard way. Road rage is very real--I switch personalities when I'm behind the wheel (as many of my passengers have witnessed, he he..) It's nice to live where you work or study whenever possible. But it can't always be done so you compromise or maybe you move.
Talking about moving, there's this website www.bestplaces.net so if you live in the U.S. or Canada you can go on it and check out the stats for different cities. You get to pick your preferences (big or small city, crime level, education of the residents, transport, healthcare, arts and cultural activities...) and in the end it shows you your ideal city to live in. I went on it and guess what? In the end the best place for me was the city I already live in! I really love this city and all it has to offer. It's far from perfect, but it's the right place for me now. Every time I come back into town from somewhere else, I get this wonderful feeling; my heart skips a beat. Living in the city is so stimuating; you are surrounded by sights and sounds and there are endless possibilities. I've lived in shagz for most of my life so for all you veteran city dwellers, be patient with me! I'm one of those confused people you would run into on a Nairobi street, clutching my hand bag tightly and scrutinising the signs and people around me with a bewildered expression. I used to live there when I was very young so I remember my primary school, peroz workplace, Kenyatta market, and our estate in South C. Most of the other times I was in Nairobi, I was getting chauffered to specific locations (it's not that glamorous: by school bus, relaz, etc). Of course I've pandad mathreez. Anyhow, I'm hungry right now, I'm about to kula some nyama and vegez so I'm signing off. Then off for some weekend entertainment!

Defining the Kenyan elite

First of all, I would define the elite as a special group that doesn't mingle with the masses. Wealth and power are the main things that define the elite class. In Kenya, these are the high-powered govt. officials and also all the superwealthy families.(How they got their fortunes is a whole other topic). The truly wealthy do not have to work for an income aka old money--I won't be talking much about them.
There's also an academic elite class. These days, going to university and pursuing a post-grad education is becoming more mainstream, but in our parents' time those who went to grad school are part of an elite class. They are defined not just by their academic degrees, but also by other professional credentials and their involvement in academia & research. They send their children to the best schools they can and expose themselves to various cultures, music, arts, foreign languages, travel..etc
I think it's possible to belong to either one or both of the groups above. But there are things that each group is constantly pursuing. For example, the are the wealthy elite (corrupt govt. leaders or business people whatever) who suddenly have a lot of money then realize that they cannot continue hanging out @ Mama opiyo's local nyama choma joint on weekends and their new S-class Mercs stand out whenever they go shopping at the kiosk next door. They realize that people in their economic bracket spend their weekends at the local country club golfing and eating nyama choma roasted by a professional chef. Woe unto those whose jobs require attending social functions frequented by international leaders, expats, and top intellectual minds. They realize that money does NOT buy class--it takes some investment to polish the rough edges and become knowledgeable about arts/music/travel....
On the other hand, most members of the academic elite don't have enormous amounts of disposable cash; they also don't command armies of thugs, oops! I meant 'security detail' ready to do their bidding; when they go on their well-deserved holiday, they don't hop on the private jet or drive a fleet of BMWs. Unlike their counterparts above, they can usually define morality and ethics although they may not apply them to everyday life. For example, they may be involved in legal matters and suddenly realize that nobody cares that they authored a paper nominated for a Pulitzer.
The bottom line is that each group wants something that other group possesses. So they cannot survive without each other.

LA Rugby and old friends

So, I'm packing for a weekend trip to sunny L.A. The Rugby 7s are taking place this weekend and the Kenyan team is there to proudly represent us. Let me confess how little I know about the actual game--I just know when they've scored and of course the whole tackling thing. I don't know much else. Blame it on not attending a school with a rugby team, or spending too much time indoors reading, whatever! But who can resist the sight of young, muscular, toned male bodies running back and forth a grassy field? It takes a lot of strength, speed, and skill. Word is there are kenyan celebz in town who will be performing. Hot shows for sure! But what I'm really looking forward to is seeing some old friends. You know those buddies that knew you way back in the day: y'all did homework together, confided in each other about your crushes, and your worries on relationships, crazy teachers, stressful jobs, religion, hairdos, clothes...etc. And as life goes on, one person moves north, another goes south, while the rest remain. You call each other a lot in the beginning, e-mails of course. Then we all get caught up with work/school and one day you wake up and realize it's been ___yrs since I saw my good friends. We know that as time goes by, changes happen. I know I've changed alot of my views. I know some friends who've undergone major changes (like joining the military). There's always a fear that changes will drive you apart. It's great to have a history together, but we all need to have new memories and experiences together. So that's when you meet and spend time together...One thing for sure, I'll miss my bed. I just love sleeping in my big, comfortable bed and everyone who's slept in it agrees with me. Time for bed!

Dog food, chemistry, and college classes.

There's been this story of a woman from New Zealand donating dog food for starving Kenyan children. What? Is that for real? Apparently it is--what a big insult! And exactly what are our leaders doing about the famine and various disastrous situations facing their constituents? Maybe they've been stashing money away for retirement? Hah, hah, big joke! What retirement? Although it is a known fact that corruption is deeply ingrained in our culture from the highest levels going down, it is somewhat shocking to have firsthand accounts from somebody who was there seeing it all. I applaud the courage it took for this man to speak up. This whole Anglo Leasing scandal has demonstrated the blatant greed and vast amount of money that these people play around with. Of course everyone wants the facts, and people claim they are innocent, but "where there's smoke, there's fire." Enough about politics, it's all depressing...
I had a quiz in Chem class today, I think I did alright. The stuff we're learning is like a review of what I've studied before--it's not like I aced it before but I grasp the basics. It's interesting to observe other students in class. There are always the super-smart over-achiever types that make everyone else feel dumb. There are those in between, doing ok. But I'm still trying to figure out the people who show up to class 15-20 minutes late, then leave early. They barely listen when the teacher is talking, then they keep on asking questions that have already been answered: "What should we study for the quiz?", "which #s do we practice for homework?" Well, just look at the f*cking hand-outs and syllabus! It has been outlined very clearly, and if you bothered to be in class, the teacher went over that info about 10 times! Some people's cell phones are constantly ringing...I didn't come to class to listen to a conversation between Monique and LaShawn--I could give a rat's ass about the nail shop, babies, and random dudes. Forgive me for my lack of patience--it's a good thing I'm not the teacher. I think I've developed new perspective on the importance of studies. You gotta learn and understand stuff for yourself; some people are just looking for shortcuts--copying people's answers without knowing how..Well, someday when you are on the spot you have to figure out the answers without relying on other people. Obviously people have different talents and understand some things more easily. I will confess that I am really out of my element in the Philosophy class I just signed up for. The teacher seems interesting though--cool sense of humor, very sharp, 30something married man wearing his wedding ring. What is it about some married men that makes them attractive (even when they are not exactly good-looking) ? Probably confidence and some unknown factor. Whatever, I don't really care. I'm really sleepy, time for bed. more next time...

Pedicures and Valentine's gifts.

There are very few things as relaxing as getting a spa pedicure: you slide your legs into warm bubbly water, sit back in a massage chair and read a trashy colorful magazine; your feet are scrubbed with a pumice stone and the foot and leg massage that follow feel great! A pedicure is very functional, you get hygiene and beauty (minus the pain) rolled into one. I definitely agree with Aisha Tyler on this (in her book "Swerve"). Guys, take note! If you are looking for a fabulous gift for your sweetie (yeah Valentine's is around the corner, we know), you cannot go wrong with a gift certificate to a spa. It doesn't have to be one of those expensive, snooty, high-end ones either. Girls love to be pampered. Of course, you've gotta work with your budget--but it's not that hard to give a memorable gift. I am going to list some suggestions of stuff to give (or do) for your honey this Valentine's. Why do I even care? I'm unattached and not expecting any romantic overtures. So maybe it's just my own wishlist, but there are a lot of people who agree with me!

1) Gift certificate to a spa. Or to hell with it, if you have the skills--just take a bottle of massage oil over and give the massage yourself! I once got a foot massage at the club from some guy--ladies I'm sure y'all know how feet ache after a few hours of dancing or even just standing in some of those pretty shoes--it took a few minutes but it was memorable (he wasn't).
2) CHOCOLATE. Yes, it is cliche, but it does work. Think along the lines of Ferrero Roche, Godiva, Lindt, going up. You don't have to break the bank, but if Hershey's or milky way is the only thing you can afford, I say give it up and go for something you don't have to spend a lot of $$ on.
3) Love POEM. Another cliche, but it really works. And I'm not talking about those high school love letters that your friends helped you write! I swear, there must be some kind of form letter circulating in Kenyan secondary schools and every boy gets a copy of it, fills in the name of the girl he likes, signs his name, and mails it off! It does NOT make a girl feel special if she gets an exact copy of her roommate's letter. And yes, we may share your letters or poems with our friends. Or we just keep them for ourselves as souvenirs. So write it well! And don't write it on notebook paper please! (It worked when you were younger but not anymore). And don't write about yourself either!
4) FOOD. Cook it, buy it, whatever. Just make sure you know if the person is a vegetarian/vegan or on a liquid/raw diet. I once shared some meat ravioli (accidentally of course) with a roommate, and the results were disastrous. Sorry K!
5) MUSIC. Buy it, play it, or sing if you have the talent.
6) LINGERIE. You need to be in that kind of relationship and you need to know the sizes well. or else get a giftcard.

And the list goes on...Basically, it's about you spending time with someone and showing them that they are special. It DOES NOT have to cost a lot of money, if you have the $$ go ahead and splurge but if you don't then just put some time or creative thinking into it.

WHAT NOT TO DO:
I think for all the gifts to be appreciated you need to have a special relationship with the person. There's nothing like receiving a love letter from a random acquintance that not only spells out all of your names, but describes you (or him) in detail--you are thinking "Do I know this person?". Words like stalker, creep, and arrogant asshole run through your mind instantly. Do NOT be too presumptous please. You know, us ladies are brought up to be polite and in turn kindness is mistaken for like. And if you're trying to guess if the person likes you--they probably don't. Sorry to be so pessimistic. But some people need to hear this. Or maybe the person likes you but if they are not putting any effort it's not worth it.

OK, now that I have the whole Valentine's thing out of the way, I'll be moving on to other subjects. Do NOT ask your unattached friends "Why" they are not with somebody. It happens. For various reasons. And just so you know, February 14th is also "Quirkyalone" day (a great book by Sasha Cagen). If you don't know what it means, look it up!

The Kenyan govt, famine, wealth and squalor co-exist.

This is one of the things that breaks my heart and makes me lose hope in this world and this life: the gross inequality and unjust distribution of resources. We see this everywhere; just walking down the city streets you see the homeless and utterly destitute who have NOTHING! We barely glance at them as we rush off to our lives (probably dismissing them as lazy,psycho, drug-addicted bums who just use up resources--hey! let's be honest here!) Only to look beside them and see the loud displays of wealth: designer stores with merchandise equal to the GDP of some third-world countries, cars that can fund your entire education at a posh private university with pocket money and a ticket home every year, rich people wearing jewelry and outfits worth more than some people make in a year, and other blaring signs of prosperity. It is amazing how so much wealth and squalor can co-exist.
Now with all that in mind, the whole famine situation in Kenya is just like that. People are starving to death! As in they live life on such a basic level that if there's no rain, then that maize and maharagwe that they planted will not grow. Just imagine what mothers say to their kids when they're crying for food...Hunger is such a primal urge--you have to get it fulfilled coz it's about survival! But wait--contrary to popular Western belief, Kenya (or as many annoyingly refer to it "Africa") IS NOT JUST A BIG HOT DESERT! Our country is blessed to have different climates and geographical areas so it rains a lot in some parts of the country and they grow so much food that they have a surplus. But while there is a lot of surplus food in one part of the country, there's very little on the other side. My older sis and I have been talking about this situation and it so sad. This is where the government officials are supposed to step in, coz that is their JOB--didn't they swear to serve and defend the people? So, now let's change scenes and focus on the Govt. They are offering farmers credit notes to purchase the maize for the famine-stricken people. What the f*** is a CREDIT NOTE? Who will recognize it? What is it even worth? That is the big question farmers ask because they want to get the best value for their products-they've gotta survive too!

So the govt is SUPPOSEDLY broke, so that means the credit notes are worth shit! It's like when you write a check to somebody but you know the balance in your account will not cover it. Or maybe that check will totally clean you out. Whatever. Not a great situation. Isn't it ironic that the leaders of a "poor" struggling economy show up to a seminar on famine rolling in the latest expensive rides? Check out this article "Ministers step out in style" http://www.eastandard.net/archives/cl/hm_news/news.php?articleid=35261 And the MORE important ones have to roll in a motorcade or just charter a flight...Of course, we know that important people don't go places without bodyguards, assistants, drivers, etc But please tell me, does that mean that your 3rd wife's brother's sons need to roll with you? It's not that there isn't any money, it's how they choose to spend it--in this case MAINLY on themselves. Come on, if you could choose your own salary and perks, wouldn't you give yourself the best? But what we see is pure greed. It is true that people need to be compensated according to their talents and job description, but if you are in public service you have an obligation to make choices for the greater good. I know this is a very idealistic concept, but we can make some parts of it reality.

To finish off my commentary on this I want to unleash views from some of our brilliant leaders. Kenyan Finance Minister David Mwiraria has warned that the government may soon have to cut its funding to ministries to cover the costs of the drought. Minister Charity Ngilu said her department could not cope with cuts to the health budget.
"I am urging Mr Mwiraria to instead increase the health budget because I believe that more people will visit health centres and hospitals frequently because of diseases related to famine and drought," Kenya's Daily Nation newspaper quotes Ms Ngilu as saying.
Now, I think anyone can analyze the situation using very basic logic--cause and effect. You could even draw a diagram! So the govt may "soon" cut funds to ministries so they can feed people. Does that sound urgent to you? Does soon mean before the year is over? or perhaps before the next General Election? And did they say Maybe? I don't know what kind of health/medical exposure or background Charity Ngilu has--but once again one doesn't need a degree or work experience to know that if somebody will "visit...hospitals frequently because of diseases related to famine and drought." you are just saying a person is Hungry, famished, starving and NEEDS FOOD AND WATER! So, it does NOT make sense to treat symptoms without looking at the ROOT CAUSE!! Oh well, same old sad story...

Wazee, guitars, & music

I have many things I want to write about, so I will probably go off on different tangents.

First of all, on old people...you tend to picture them as warm, grandparent types. And sure, some of them are. But, there are some MEAN OLD PEOPLE. Come on, I know you've lived through a lot of bullshit, world wars, numerous political and scientific changes...etc. But this does not make one a saint. We are all human, and sometimes we get places because of hard work (ours or other people's), or just luck--whatever. I believe that respect is a 2-way street. This concept applies to all aspects of life.I'm sure everyone would agree!
What is it with Americans and guitars? Is it like a rite of passage to take guitar lessons in this country? Because every other person on the street strums a guitar--true, some are really talented. But how about something different? Maybe a tuba or the saxophone? That would just blow me away...of course, piano playing is impressive--even I attempt to bang out a few tunes. I could never make a living doing it--but it's fun. I can read notes and play simple tunes, but I'm not one of those maestros who can hear something and instantly play it in 5 different keys. I don't even play any Chopin. Anyhow, I appreciate music in various forms.
Well, gotta go now and get ready for work.

Thai chicken curry, chemistry, and a great book...

I feel great! Just had delicious, delectable, spicy Thai food with my sis. I got takeout coz it's more comfortable eating @ home. It's so cold outside but we're warm and cozy in here. We have a fab apartment (no more roommate drama! more on that later...). I'm keeping my resolution of starting school. I just registered today and went to the campus to find the classrooms. I am pretty excited about being back in school--mostly because I'm good at it. I was always one of the smartest kids in the class in all the schools I've been to. And I don't say this to be arrogant, my siblings and I are blessed to inherit our parents' brains and intelligence. The thing is when you're younger--it doesn't make you too popular with your agemates. I was definitely a nerdy smart kid. Obviously, I did my work but it's not like I studied all the time; I found most of my classes easy. I mostly read books for pleasure;( they are a MAJOR part of my life). The down side to that is I didn't develop good study skills early--when I started college I was overwhelmed with the amount of study time I needed for classes, and when you add work on top, it is tough! I still managed though and most of my teachers were impressed with my work. But lately, I feel like I've become dumber--like my brain is just vegetating. Granted my job requires a lot of learning and thinking fast on your feet and recalling facts. But there are other aspects of my job that are just common sense and I think to myself "what does studying have to do with this?" Anyway, I hope I get through my Chemistry class because this subject is not my forte!
I have some great books to read which is a wonderful feeling. My world has become a much bigger place because of books. I just read "Maus" by Art Spigelman. A great book, simple reading, and it's a comic! or should I say, graphic novel. Anyway, I recommend it to everyone.